A Howling Heart
Chapter fifty-one

The further we get toward the back, the more my shivering becomes uncontrolled and instinctual. Like my fight or flight is bypassing the stern voice in my head that keeps saying, "You're fine, relax."

Probably just because I don't trust her... she's obviously in love with Matias. Anyone like that might have malicious intentions.

My eyes move down her body, envious of her beauty. I feel plain in comparison, but I must remind myself that through my bond with Matias, he sees me as the most beautiful woman. I hope... Otherwise, why would he choose me?

What if one day he wakes up and the desire from the bond is dull in comparison, and what Tonya says is prone to happen? What if he decides I am not enough and wants to be with her? I don't know if I could bear it. It would be like getting my heart torn into two and being stuck... I don't know if I could escape this life if he made that kind of decision.

I shake my head, knowing I'm venturing into dangerous territory. My self-esteem hadn't been the greatest growing up, and now was not the time to go delving into those issues.

I just want to know my mother's alright.

When I get to a thick oak door, Tonya twists to glance at me quickly, amusement in her eyes.

I can tell we aren't going to get along.

Not even in the slightest.

When she pushes open the back door, and my eyes skate over the field of grass and the line of woods, I see the silhouette of a wolf. The wolf is whining, and I squint, realizing it's the same color as my mother. "Mom!"

I shove past Tonya, running to the wolf, when another one steps out of the shadow of trees and intercepts me from my mother. My eyes widen as I move over the thick fur and the vast creature. Blood paints its face. "Esai. H-he's not dead."

I know by looking at him that it's him. Those same vicious eyes have stared at me like that before. I reach up, stroking my neck at the memories.

I thought I was going to die.

Matias saved me.

I don't know how I ever doubted him.

But now, I will fight to save my mother.

Whatever it takes.

"Esai... You need to let my mother go."

"A snarl rolls off his tongue as he bares his teeth. He steps forward, and I gasp, whipping around to stare at Tonya, whose face is guarded.

Is she going to do anything?

"Tonya."

I hiss her name. She swallows, her jaw tense.

"I thought you said he was dead!"

"I-I thought he was. I heard him screaming."

Very convincing performance.

I shake my head, moving my eyes cautiously back on Esai as he snaps his attention to my whimpering mom. "Go get Matias. Now!"

She just stands there like I haven't instructed her to do something. I hiss at her.

"Go get him now!"

She gulps and nods before spinning around and heading back into the mansion.

"Mom," I call to my mother urgently. I know she's heard me because she howls softly. "She's alive."

Esai hisses again, and I shake my head.

"Esai, please don't hurt her. She was lied to this entire time."

Another growl, and he turns, moving back toward my mom.

"Esai, my father was nothing. He lied to her this entire time. Fed her crap until she was so scared of you she didn't know what to do, so she ran. Please!"

He stops in front of her. I see her licking her wounds. He glances back at me.

Maybe I'll get through to him.

Maybe he'll understand.

"Nate told me everything."

I step forward.

"He told me the truth. My father wanted to be alpha, and he'd stop at nothing to get it. He'd stop at nothing to keep you from having it, so he stole her away from you. He never loved her. It wasn't about some passionate affair. It wasn't something he even fucking cherished. He wanted to divide and conquer, and I'm sorry."

I gesture at my mother.

"I'm sorry she wasn't strong enough to realize the truth. I wish she had been."

I widen my arms.

Where the hell is Tonya with Matias.

It shouldn't take long....

Matais usually sense these things.

My chest feels tight as I hear my mother whimper again. The need to protect her has always been strong. Even when I was little. She was all I had growing up.

And I will protect her...

Even if that means laying down my life for her.

"Esai, please! Be bigger than my father ever was. Don't hurt her. Not for the manipulation. She's changed. You've changed. You will no longer suffer the pain and decay from the curse. Her mistakes can't hurt you any longer."

Despite the fact he's in wolf form, Esai seems to be contemplating my words. His eyes soften, and he lowers his lips down over his teeth so they aren't presented aggressively as he stares at me.

I know he can be better.

He was supposed to be my father.

My mother's actions changed fate...

He huffs, and everything happens so fast that I can't register it. He whips around, growls, and lunges for my mom.

"Mom!"

I'm running before it's too late. I don't think about the consequences or anything, just the heartbreaking sounds of Esai tearing pieces of my mom apart. When I get to him, I throw myself at him. "No!"

I'm so engrossed in clawing at his fur and getting his teeth from my mother's flesh that I barely hear Matias in my head. Fae! No!

Matias, I have to do this! She's my mother!

Just wait for me! Anima mea!

His voice booms in my head so loud I hear my skull splitting in half, but I keep fighting, even as Esai throws me from him. I scramble up, my body aching with each movement as we stare each other down. "I won't let you hurt her. I will fight you even to death if I have to. She is my family."

He growls at me, but I don't back down. I crouch, ready to attack. When he lunges, I gasp and scream when he latches onto my arm, throwing me sideways. His teeth dig so deep that when he throws me, they scrape the bone.

"Ah!" The pain rips up my arm to my chest, and I peer down at the red that's painting my skin, blood oozing from teeth marks. He moves back to my mom, and I realize that it's her he's trying to get to. I'm just a nuisance. His interest and problems are with her; no matter what, they won't end unless he ends her.

"Kill me, please! Kill me instead! I am begging you! Not her!"

I watch my mother hobble onto all fours, but her weakness is evident: She remains unsteady. Her fur is splattered red.

"PLEASE! Don't do this! Kill me!"

My love's voice returns in my head.

Fae, my love, please, don't do this! I am almost there.

A piercing howl booms in the forest, and I know it's my alpha. The man I love wholeheartedly, but I know it'll be too late. I have to do this. Now.

I'm sorry, my love.

I have to do this.

If I wasn't already wounded, the scream of the word no in my head would give me a migraine for an eternity.

I hold the wound, tears prickling my eyes as it dawns on me that this may be the last time I'll ever see my mother or my alpha. I will never kiss Matias again. Never feel his powerful hands on me, but maybe that's how it was always supposed to be.

Maybe he will change regardless of my demise.

And he will mate and be happy...

Even if it can't be with me.

Because love is selfless.

It's reckless, and it's caring.

As a wolf...

With lycan blood coursing through my veins - I will abide by the ways of the wolf.

I stand.

I will not cower in the face of danger. I will protect those in the pack. Even when I know it will kill me.

My heart aches for the pain I know Matias will go through, and with one last gasp of breath, I lunge for Esai. Teeth and blood and pain course through me as he bites me and tears at my flesh, but I don't let that stop me from digging my teeth deep into his fur along his neck.

Just as I did Nate, I will tear him apart with my teeth.

My mouth pools with warm blood with each bite. Esai howls painfully, and I move to another spot, clamping my teeth over his ear and tearing it from his body. I feel the blood loss weighing me down, and each breath becomes harder to drag into my lungs.

He's bleeding, too.

That's all that matters.

I scream and dig my teeth as far as I can into his back. He bucks me off, and I fly, the meat on his body tucked in between my teeth having ripped from him. When I land, I know that's it. I blink, trying to open my eyes as I watch Esai stumble. His fur is now painted with blood, but it's not my mother's. It's his.

A taste of his own fucking medicine.

I sigh, feeling life slowly slipping from me. It's cold and scary, but I can't hold on much longer. I hear a growl followed by Matias's voice.

"Fae! Fae! No!"

His arms encircle me, holding me closely to that warm chest where his heart beats for me.

And only for me.

My soul.

My mate.

Even in death, I will miss you.

I hear him cry out, and the sound is earth-shattering and painful. I can't open my eyes to even look at him as the darkness surrounds me.

I am lost to it.

To death.

Save my mother.

The warmth from his arms is gone, and I hear him growling before I hear the whimpering of a wolf and the mighty words of a man avenging his mate.

"Esai! You are a traitor amongst our pack! You have destroyed my mate! Anima mea! The other half to my soul!: And you have destroyed me! And now, you will die."

The cracking of bones, the howling of wolves, and the pain of the man of my destiny are what send me off into permanent darkness.