A Howling Heart
Chapter fifty

Matias's anguish is like a crack in the earth. It rattles humanity and leaves destruction in its wake. A piercing growl rips from his chest agonizingly, filling the woods around us like an omen. I shake, wrapping my arms around myself as I feel my heart pounding anxiously. He's in so much pain.

I've realized as I've gotten older that a family member can hurt you over and over again, and each time is like a fresh wound that tears at your very soul, but the moment you find out that they are hurt, there is a biological part of you that aches.

That's what is happening to Matias right now. His uncle, although an evil, power-hungry man, is the only father figure he's truly known. The idea that he is dead in truth is breaking him inside.

I want to take away Matias's pain. Shield him from the heartbreak of loss, but I can't. I can only hold him until he has found his way out of grief's crushing grip.

He is my soulmate, love, and everything I've ever dreamt of.

I reach for him, hands grasping for his hands as his head lolls forward, and I hear his heavy breathing. His body rumbles with pain, physically vibrating as I pull him into me and rest my head against his chest. "Anima mea," I repeat his adoring nickname to him and stroke his back. "You are strong. You will overcome."

He can hear my thoughts, and the intimacy that comes from speaking to him through them seems fitting for the situation. Especially considering Tonya is staring, jealousy clear in her gaze as I caress Matias.

I will remain by your side forever.

Matias groans, raising his head. He peers deeply into my eyes, and for once, instead of that raging, confident anger, I see a vulnerability that rocks me sideways. I blink rapidly, only remembering one moment when he'd lost control like this. When he thought I was going to die.

He cried...

I remember. Just before I passed out.

It kills me to see him like this.

He steps back from me, grabs my arms, and squeezes them reassuringly before letting them drop to my sides.

"I must go to him," Matias states through a scratchy throat. He is trying to hold it together.

"He's back at your house. W-we tried to help him." Her voice quivers as if she's remorseful, but I don't believe any ounce of her facade. There's something about this that doesn't sit right with me. My stomach is uneasy.

Tonya just doesn't seem genuine.

"Fae -" Matias has heard my insult, but nothing matters. He would be lying if he said she wasn't.

I shrug, unbothered by his chastising tone. I know it isn't the time to let jealousy push me into an argument with the woman, but all that aside, there is something deceitful about her. Sorry.

Go find your uncle, my love.

I make sure to give him a reassuring smile when he reads my thoughts and looks at me.

"I will be back," he says. He whips around and disappears down the steps and into the woods. One more night, and soon, he'll be running on all fours like that of his pack. Me, as well. It's petrifying.

Tonya cocks her head sideways and narrows her eyes. "Scared?"

"No," I say, thankful that my voice doesn't quiver to give way to my deceit. The last thing I need is for her to start picking at my weaknesses and finding something to use against me. "Regardless, you shouldn't be. Matias is..."She twists her head to peer after him in the woods, and I watch as she shivers with the kind of longing that blossoms before two people bed each other. Could she be modest for once in her life? Not so darn desperate!

"He's mighty. He takes care of his pack. Of his women."

"Women?" She's clearly putting an emphasis on that to make me angry.

She nods, crossing her arms over her chest. "Before you, he had many that warmed his bed. The appetite of an Alpha cannot be satisfied by one woman. No matter what that annoying little bond between you says." My jaw ticks. "Many women?"

She smiles wryly. "Worthy women. Pureblood."

She smirks at the rage in my eyes. So now I'm not biologically good enough? This girl has some serious problems.

Well, I didn't expect to have a conversation about all of the women he's slept with...

Images flash in my mind of him entangled with a group of women. The sight is awful. It makes my chest constrict, and my hands press against it in hopes of calming my breathing.

"Well, that was the past."

Tonya shrugs. "Perhaps. Unless you can't give him what he wants."

"What he wants?" I parrot.

"An heir. "

Back on the children's stuff.

"W-well, I'm going to try." She snickers.

I'm done with the conversation.

"I want to see my mom."

"I'll take you to your mother.” Her voice quivers, and I frown, uncertainty settling in my gut again, causing a bout of nausea that makes me hesitant.

"Actually, never mind. I think I will just wait for Ma-"

"No, it's okay. I know you've been waiting to see her. The change was hard on her, but we walked her through... as we will you."

She gestures for me to follow and begins walking deeper into the house. I blink a few times, glancing around for other pack members, but coming up empty. I stare out at the woods briefly, but when no one resurfaces from them, I decide it's better to go with her than stand vulnerable by myself.

"Okay."

With a deep breath, I follow Tonya.

I've never seen this part of the lodging.

"We're going towards the back."

"The back?"

"Of the mansion. It's where she wanted to be. We couldn't move her."

"Oh." I nod, thinking of how scared my mom must be.

She never thought in a million years that she'd be turned.

But she was... Something that should've been impossible has become possible.

And as horrible as it sounds, I'm glad. I didn't want to have to choose between her and the wolves. Between her and my destiny.

It would've been the hardest thing to do because Matias calls to me. I cannot resist him any longer.