My Sister's Boyfriend
37

-No. Don't finish it, she'll be devastated. I remembered all the times Ceci idolized him, how it seemed like this time she was really getting involved. "I think she really likes you..." There's no reason to break up. Alone... Don't show me notebooks, or look at me, or talk to me. Keep your distance. Everything will be okay in the end and...

"Nothing is right. Look at you...

"Since when do you care what I feel?" Since when? Since you started dating my sister in front of me? Blimey! I got up from the stool. Feeling the breath short. I turned to him. Looking right into his confused eyes. "Stop it. Stop acting like I still mean something. I never meant it and I know it. I just want you and Ceci to be together because... It's the right one. You match and... I felt the crying rising. Making my eyes sting and my throat tighten. My voice was beginning to become hysterical. I held back tears, not wanting to sound even more pathetic. "I don't care anymore..." I just...

So I couldn't stand it. I burst into tears, my chin shaking. I disengaged myself from his hand, absolutely tired of everything. I quickly left that place, going outside. The warm air hit my face and I tried to take a deep breath. Controlling the tears. I felt quick footsteps behind me.

"Malu...

"I can't, Igor. Stay with my sister, but stay away. Because it hurts! Hurts! I vented. Not being able to contain the words. - I can't, I'm not strong or mature to deal with this, okay? I just... It doesn't hurt you, but it hurts me and... "I'm sorry, little one..." He was getting closer and I was moving away.

-No. Stay away. He didn't listen to me, even with my protests, he took my face between his hands, which covered my entire face, making me look at him. He wiped away a tear with his thumb.

He whispered my name in that way that only he knew how to do. I took a deep breath, feeling his breath against me. I opened my eyes and ended up trapped in that huge glow, those eyes that made me weak. Before I could protest, his lips crushed mine. Forcefully and desperately, his arms pulling me to him. I shuddered, I had forgotten how good it was to have him so close to me. On how much you'll miss you... I gave myself over to the kiss for a few moments. But then I remembered Ceci. Of your whole situation. I protested weakly between his lips and walked away panting.

"Oh my God..." I took a step back. Moving further away from him. "What did we do?" What about my sister?

"Malu, I..." Just like me, he panted.

-No! Please. I gasped, confused.

"I need to... Your way of talking, your look, almost brought me to my knees. But at the same time they made me angry. The situation was crap and it was all his fault.

"What you need is judgment and shame on your face!" And I... Oh my gosh. I'm leaving. I turned my back, starting to walk again. He grabbed my arm, making me turn to look at him.

-No. I won't let you run away from me again. He stared at me with determination, his face coming closer to mine again. -Eeyore... No. No!

"Let her go!" I turned my face away, coming face to face with a ruddy-cheeked Alexander. A family situation, a kind of déjà vu. I pulled my arm tightly. I looked sideways and straight ahead. Looking for Ceci. "I think you'd better go after your girlfriend, Igor."

-E-ela viu? - gaguejei.

"See what?" She just got mad at me and left through the back. What happened? He analyzed us, comparing our expressions.

"N-nothing. Alone... Take me home.

- Malu, you look strange. What happened?

"Just take me home!" Please," I walked over to Alexander. Holding on to your arm. I pulled him by the arm as we walked away. "What did he do to you?" Were you crying?

-Nothing. And I wasn't crying.

- Malu! He grabbed me by the shoulders in the middle of the street, lifting my chin to look at him, I looked away.

"I'm not lying...

-No? Are you sure? I looked at him. Feeling my eyes blur again. Damn sensitivity!

"I'm the worst person in the world. I sit here, lying to myself, because I think it's going to change something. If I convince myself that I'm over it, that I don't care anymore, it's really going to happen. But it's a lie. I can't talk myself out of it. I still love him, dammit! That sucks, you know? A bag. And it's wrong, because of Ceci, because of what he's done to me... I can't still be in love with him. Alexander hugged me tightly. Right there in the middle of the street. And I stood there, crying on his shoulder. Without blinking, trying to erase the guilt of knowing that I would hurt my sister. And dying of anger at myself because I knew I hadn't regretted kissing him.

I was lying on the floor, staring at the ceiling. It was dawn. It had been two days since I had seen Ceci, she left and entered the house quickly, locking herself in her room. I think it's because she's avoiding Alexandre, who is spending twice as much time here at home, even spending some nights here, much to my mother's happiness. She definitely trusted us to let us sleep in the same room. Anyway, we've spent even more time together since that last night, if that's even possible... We didn't talk about the incident at that little party anymore. Obviously we were fooling each other by keeping exactly what happened to ourselves, since we were in this total cesspool. I, on the one hand, hadn't told him that Igor had kissed me, even though Alê was practically demanding, dying of rage, to know what had happened

In the end, I think he took my silence as an affirmation. He, on the other hand, didn't tell me what he had done to Ceci. And for sure, you won't tell me. I always deflected the subject, so I decided not to bother him anymore. But this was extremely difficult. I'm very curious. I looked to the side, visualizing his feet out of my bed. I stood up, stiff, and walked over to the bed. Sitting close to your feet.

Whether or not I wanted what Ceci had told me, it had been running through my mind. She'd said Alexandre and I were a match and, well... She was right. Even though we always fought, we were very similar. Before those words from Ceci I had never thought about that possibility, you know... To stay with Alexander. I've always seen him as the friend. Hot and coveted that we can make girls jealous, but know that the two of you together... It's unthinkable. But looking at it from that point of view, trying to look at Alexandre and I, together, with Ceci's eyes, the idea didn't leave my mind. I definitely wasn't in love with Alexander, of course. I loved him, obviously, but we were friends. And they always say that friendship can evolve into love, don't they? And there we both are, needy, in the cesspool, alone and technically looking for someone to plug holes in people who have hurt us. I know that's wrong. Staying with a person to plug holes, serve as a Band-Aid, but... I wasn't even thinking about the consequences. Lately I thought so much that my head hurt, so I tried not to think about it especially.