Just One of the Guys
Twenty Nine

Corbin

It ends up being one of the worst nights of sleep that I've had since coming here.

Flashes of Knox bruised and bleeding, me screaming for them to leave him alone, trying to convince them that he has nothing to do with this, that he's innocent.

I wake with tears pouring down my cheeks, dread settles into my stomach, an ache settling into my chest that I fear will never fade because of the position that I've put us in.

The danger that I've put Knox in. Even my dreams are mocking me, making sure I know just how royally that I've screwed up. And every time I close my eyes, the scene replays behind my eyelids. *What have I done?*

**Knox: Averi, will you please talk to me? I'm going out of my mind worrying about you.**

**Knox: Please, at least let me know that you're okay.**

His messages are the first thing I see once my phone powers back up. My voicemail alerts show multiple missed calls from him but I can't bring myself to listen to his voicemails, afraid that I will cave if I hear the panic and worry in his voice. Hitting delete on all of them, I breathe just slightly easier knowing that I no longer have the temptation to listen to them. There are also twelve other texts from Knox that I quickly delete without reading and then set my phone down on my nightstand.

Crawling out of bed with dread washing through every inch of my body, I go to the bathroom to shower and get ready for classes.

I already know that today is going to suck. I just hope that I'm able to get through it without losing too many of the shattered pieces of my heart.

The first thing that I notice when I walk into the cafeteria for breakfast is all of the whisperings. Normally, the place is echoing with noise but not today; today, it's like everyone is afraid they are going to set off some kind of alarm if they talk too loud.

The second thing that I notice after I grab my food and start heading to our usual table is that everyone is there except for Knox.

Setting my food down on the table, the guys all stop their conversations to look at me.

"What?" I ask, nervous about what could possibly be happening right now. "What's going on? Why is everyone acting weird?"

I look from Colt who is right beside me, to Gentry across from me, Wesley who is next to Gentry, and opposite Colt. Knox's absence makes the whole energy around the table seem off, or maybe it's the energy in the room.

"No one can reach Knox," Colt finally says in answer to my question. "He was gone when I got up this morning, but I never heard him leave."

I give him a confused look as a lead weight settles in my stomach where my food is supposed to go.

"I don't know what happened or what it was all about, but he was a complete mess last night."

Colt looks at each of the other guys at the table before turning his attention back to me, shaking his head like he's trying to make sense of everything. "He kept saying that he fucked up, that he always fucks everything up, but that he had to figure out a way to make it right before it was too late." *He said that?*

"Yeah, he did," Colt responds to what was supposed to be a rhetorical question to myself, one that I apparently asked aloud.

"Knox never misses. Even when he had the flu one year and was running a one hundred and four-degree temperature, he still showed up. He got sent back to the dorms, but he was determined that he was fine and could stay. He. Doesn't. Miss." Colt says, enunciating each word.

"Especially since we have a game tonight," Gentry butts in, looking rattled, which is surprising.

Gentry is one of the most laid-back, happy-go-lucky guys that I've ever met, even with his weirdness as of late.

"Something isn't right. Something had to have happened after we got back from the party..." Colt mutters, as he pulls out his phone and puts it to his ear, "I'm trying him again."

I shove my plate of scrambled eggs and bacon to the middle of the table, no longer able to eat as I try to figure out where he could have gone.

"He didn't say anything?" I ask no one in particular. "Not to anyone?"

"No answer... Damn it, Knox! Where are you?" Colt shoves himself back from the table, paces a few times while running his hands through his hair, then stops, turning back to the table. "I gotta go, guys," he says and with that, he bolts out of the cafeteria.

Regret washes through me for deleting his voice messages. What if he said what he was doing or where he was going in one of the messages? I didn't listen to or read any of them. *Freakin A!*

*I am so stupid!*

*This is all my fault.*