Incomplete (Completed) -
Bonus Chapter 2
šŗKodyšŗ
Itās been wonderful having Alester here... The rest of his pack on the other hand, not so much. Marcus is nice and so is Owen but they come from a pack where they were made to believe they were the best.
Many of them are stuck up but have been welcomed. The issue for me is they donāt think Iām worthy of being Alesterās mate. I hear their whispers and I see the looks of disgust they give us... me.
Alester tells me he doesnāt care what they think but it really gets to me. Itās been months of this and it is starting to become impossible to ignore.
Alpha Zane and Luna Tracy asked if I wanted them to handle it but I donāt want to be a burden. Iām already a huge burden on Alester. So much so Iāve stopped confiding all my doubts to him. He still asks but now I lie. He has so much to do.
Him and Marcus have started a special team of warriors. I am part of the team and those that tried out and didnāt make it blame my relationship with Alester. They think he picked me just so he can keep me close but thatās just not true.
The truth is I have Alpha blood in my veins. That makes me powerful and better than the average warriors. The only person who knows other than me is Alpha Zane. Heās actually the one that told me. He told me he could scent it on me but because my wolf isnāt with me the others likely wouldnāt pick up on it.
I guess itās true because even Alester hasnāt noticed or he has and heās waiting for me to tell him. I would but I donāt feel like a potential Alpha. I feel as weak and pathetic as they all tell me I am. Physically Iām strong but mentally Iām a mess.
āHello Little Wolf.ā Alester wraps his arms around my waist.
āHi. Arenāt you supposed to be helping to build the training house with everyone?ā
āIām the boss so Iām taking a break to spend some time with youā.
āI miss you when youāre off doing team stuffā.
He makes it sound like Iām running the team. Iām just making sure we have everything ready in case we get called out. Itās really not that important, everyone checks their own stuff before and after I check it.
āDonāt be ri-ridiculous Alesterā.
His eyes flash, Lex is feeling frisky he takes control and slips a hand under my shirt trailing his fingertips so lightly over my skin it feels like when his lashes brush my chest. It tickles but it also fans the embers of need to a flame.
We kiss a lot, itās quite juvenile, if I compare it to Tessa and Sadieās relationships with Marcus and Brandon.
Iām still too scared to be with him but heās so patient and loving. We tried a while ago but I had flashbacks and nightmares and it just brought back a lot of traumatic memories. I thought I was ready but Iām not, which made me feel more worthless than I already felt.
Why should Alester wait for me and all my problems to get under control when he can have someone who can give him literally everything I canāt? This stuff weighs on me. I try so hard but he deserves and so much more.
āLittle Wolf, get out of that gorgeous head of yours. I love you. Youāre my mate and youāre who I want and who I needā.
He kisses my neck and turns me around, āYouāre so incredible I wish you could see yourself the way the ones who love you see youā.
I lay my cheek on his chest while hugging him. His strong heartbeat helps to keep me sane.
āIām ok, Iām just tiredā I lie. I donāt like lying but he has other responsibilities.
Alpha Zane treats Alester like heās his son and Alester works hard to deserve it. Our Alpha is a great wolf and man. I know Iām lucky that Sadie was from here and rescued me too.
āKody I know youāre lying to me but itās ok. You donāt always have to tell me how youāre feeling. I just want to make sure you have what you need from meā.
Guilt stabs at my heart. Alester kisses me with such passion I feel his love. Itās not just once in a while either. Itās literally every kiss no matter how brief. I just wish I could believe that I deserve it.
Marcus comes up and asks him a question which gets him distracted so I slip away to my room.
"I would have liked to have said goodbye to you but I understand you need some time alone. Iāll see you for dinner. Iāll bring up something amazingā.
I donāt reply. I have so many conflicting thoughts going through my head. I know how he feels but arenāt we supposed to do right by those we love? Isnāt whatās right to let him be the powerful Alpha he will be with someone who can return to him all the love he gives and give him cubs?
No matter how much Iād want to, thatās not something I can ever give him.
šŗAlesteršŗ
āHeās pulling away again, Marcus, and I donāt know what to doā.
āIām sure things will be fine. Just keep reaffirming your feelings for him and heāll learn to trust itā.
āIām trying but this feels different than when I fucked up and rejected himā.
āYouāve heard what wolves from RavenWood have said. Iāve been trying to stop it but they are going to say what they wantā.
āI donāt know why so many of them came here if they donāt like himā.
āYouāre mom didnāt say who your mate was. Just that it was a man and your father didnāt approve. I guess they expected someone more like youā.
āHeās better than me. Heās kind, selfless and strong. His soul is so pureā.
āWe know that, the girls and Brandon know that, but everyone else just sees how he clings to all of us when they are around. I donāt blame him. If I was him Iād likely be a sniveling mess on the floor, never able to be around anyone. We know how amazing he is and we know how much you love him but they donātā.
āI want him to feel safe in his home and he doesnātā.
āI know. They will come around. When he gets more comfortable with the added wolves they will see heās perfect for you, because he isā.
Heās right. When Kody stops being thrown off by the groups that keep heading to Blue Moon heāll be able to relax. Itās been a lot of change these few months and heās been handling it really well.
"Hello my love, the kitchen is making roasts tonight but if you want something else I can ask them for something else for usā.
āThatās fine. Thanksā.
It didnāt sound fine but Iām positive itās about how heās feeling and not about dinner. I wish I could make everything alright. That my love could ease his mind. Seeing him hurt, hurts me.
Iām still mad beyond all reason about what happened to him, I truly wonder if his mother knew what she was doing to him when she left him there. I shouldnāt blame her. I should go to black blood and kill them all myself. They dared to touch what belongs to Lex and I. Itās a battle of will I fight nightly when Kody has nightmare after nightmare.
With so many new faces his nightmares started getting worse again. Iām surprised he gets enough rest to train with us. Sometimes he slips away and naps not far from where the cubs play. He loves being outside. Some nights we sleep outside beneath the stars. I wrap Little Wolf in my arms to keep him warm and safe.
Maybe tonight weāll camp out again. When Iām finished helping Marcus I grab food for Kody and I. Heās just showered and is pulling his sweats on over his cute ass. Itās a shame I wasnāt a few seconds earlier. He wheels around and covers himself before he realizes itās me.
āYou sc-scared me ha-half to deathā.
āIām sorry Little Wolf. Would you like to go and sleep outside tonight?ā
āYes pleaseā.
Thank goddess, I was expecting him to say no.
We eat and head out to his napping spot. I lay out the first blanket and wrap him in the other. Itās supposed to get a bit colder than normal tonight and because his wolf is gone he doesnāt produce as much body heat as me. We lie back together and stargaze until he falls asleep.
I press a kiss to his forehead, āGood night little wolfā.
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