Finding Her True Alpha
Chapter 115: Life Continues

Ashlyn

I spent the rest of the afternoon playing and spending time with James. I missed so much of his little life, all because I stopped to see my parents. The guilt of missing eight weeks of his life was overwhelming, and I was trying to make up for everything in one afternoon.

He was so big already, and so full of personality. When he reached out his hands to touch my cheeks, I melted.

As wonderful as it was with James, I felt awkward with my mates. It was like without our bond; I was questioning our relationship. Did they want me for me, or because there was a bond there? I noticed they shared a bedroom, even without me. I was so unsure of myself and my entire life had changed.

We have a new home, new life, and additional responsibilities and I’m stuck back at our apartment, trying to find my place again. I know it’s been an afternoon and maybe I’m just grieving the loss of Tundra, but I just feel off. It was like I was watching the end of a movie, without watching the beginning. I know where I was, but I don’t remember getting there.

Sage told me to go have a shower while she watches James. She said that he should wind down for bedtime Soon. I hesitated before I left James’ room. Both Mason and Derek had been called away earlier. I’m not sure what it was about. I just wanted to be with James.

Tundra gave me back to our pup, and I refused to waste any more time away from him.

I walked into the bathroom to find that it was all done in different shades of blue. Even the floor was blue and white marble with gold flecks. If the rest of the house looked like our room, someone did a fantastic job.

I str!pped out of the sweatpants and t-shirt I was wearing and hopped in to the glass shower. The glass was frosted, so you could only see figures, not details. The hot water felt amazing on my stiff body. It’s been a few hours and I have already forgotten that I’ve been in bed for the last eight weeks. I looked around the shower to see that they had even placed all my shower soaps in there. The minor act brought tears to my eyes.

How did my life even come to this point? I started thinking that maybe Gregory was right. If I had stayed in Blue Moon, I’d still have Tundra. I would still feel whole.

So much death, and for what? I was trying to feel grateful for everything that I have, but it was so hard to see past my grief. I couldn’t see past it. Sitting under the stream of water, I sobbed on my knees.

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts; I didn’t even notice that Mason had entered the bathroom. He touched my arm, making me jump. He had opened the shower door and was kneeling in, still dressed.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” He asked me.

“You put my soap in here.” I sobbed. He looked at me like I was some kind of crazy person.

“Were we not supposed to?” He asked, confused.

“It’s thoughtful.” I cried out. Mason stripped off his now soaking clothes and crawled into the shower beside me. Leaning his back against the tile, he pulled me into his side.

“Baby, I know this must be hard. But nothing has changed.” He whispered in my ear.

“But it has. I will never be the same.” I sniffled.

“You are still the same you. Tundra may not be with but you still have your family. And you will always have me and Derek,” he said.

“Even without the bond?” I choked out.

“Baby, with or without the bond, I love you more than lever thought possible.” He said, and l just started sobbing again. Mason lifted me so I was straddling him on the shower floor.

“It’s okay, Baby. I understand you may feel lost. But you have no idea how happy we are that you finally opened your eyes.” He whispered, while l cried on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Mason.” I told him once my sobs calmed down.

“Baby, you have nothing to apologize for. Derek and I have had eight weeks to get our s**t together. We were both a mess for weeks after. We just look pulled together, but in reality, we would sleep in my office so we were close to you. And to be honest, it was Sage that held us together. She stepped up, even in her own grief. She’s been taking care of all of us, especially James.” Mason said, wrapping his arms around me, while l snuggled into his chest.

“I miss your scent,” I whispered.

“I know you think you are just a witch, but you are so much more. And it will take some time for you to feel normal again. But we will always be here for you. You will always be ours.” He said, before k!ssing my forehead.

“I’m sorry, Mason. I should have fought harder.” I whispered.

“Hey, none of that. You stopped a war, you saved countless lives. And we can talk about what happened at the council building when you are ready. I’m just so happy that I get to hear that sweet voice of yours again.”

He said, snuggling into me. He was so warm, and I felt so cold without Tundra keeping me warm.

I heard Derek open the shower door. He cleared his throat before he spoke.

“I’ve been trying to get you naked for the last eight weeks. And in a few hours, she’s already got you naked, in the shower, and hard as a rock.” He laughed. I turned to look at him, giggling through my tears.

“He’s a dork,” Mason said, shaking his head.

“And I like you w*et. Now, come on, you two. It’s time for dinner and I’m sure everyone is dying to see you, Babygirl.” Derek said.

“Does everyone know?” l asked, looking back at Mason.

“Yes, but only a few are here. Brandon, Sage, and Liam live here. But I think Matt is here, Brad and Gamma Ben.” He answered and I was instantly nervous about seeing everyone.

“It’s okay, Baby. There’s no need to feel worried.” Mason said, k!ssing my forehead.

“We’ve all missed you, Babygirl,” Derek said, holding up a towel for me.

“Okay,” I whispered. I stood up from Mason’s lap and walked over to Derek. He wrapped me in a big, fluffy, warm towel.

“If at any point you start to feel overwhelmed, or you need a moment away from the crowd. Just say the word and we will go to bed.” Derek said, wrapping his arms around me.

“I miss your scent.” I whispered into his chest. Without Tundra or our mate bond, I can’t smell them like I used to. Their scents always calm me and it’s hard not having that comfort.

“Awe, Babygirl. Everything will be back to normal soon.” Derek mumbled into my neck.

“Do I smell different?” I asked them.

“Still like a garden, but the rain smell isn’t there,” Derek answered. He grabbed my cheeks so that I would look at him.

“But that doesn’t mean that we don’t love you. It was pure hell without you. And witches do mark their mates.

We will just have to talk with Sage,” Derek told me.

“You still want me?” I asked him.

“Want you? I need you, Babygirl. And if you ever leave again, Magnus will burn this entire world to the ground.” He said before his l!ps touched mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, no longer caring about the towel. His l!ps are soft and gentle, molding to mine perfectly.

“Goddess, I missed you, Babygirl.” He whispered, pulling out of the k!ss.

“I missed you,” I told him.

“Come on, you two,” Mason said from the doorway.

He was already dressed and ready to head down for dinner. Derek followed me out of the bathroom while I made my way over to the closet.

“We had everything moved here. Just found something comfortable.” Mason called out.

“Yeah, right? Both of you look like Greek gods.” I huffed, going through my clothes.

“You want us to change?” Derek said from the closet door.

“I don’t think that would help.” I said, rolling my eyes, causing him to laugh.

“You are beautiful, Babygirl. Now hurry up. Sage has James down there, distracting everyone, and he should be in bed.”