Finding Her True Alpha
Chapter 114: Tundra

Ashlyn

“I don’t understand. What more is there to talk about?” I asked the moon goddess. Sighing, she patted the spot beside her and Tundra. Tundra was sitting at Selene’s feet, resting her head on her thigh. I sat down beside her and petted my wolf.

“Unfortunately, there are rules that the gods must follow. I answer to higher power and you might think me unfair, but l promise that I’m doing everything in my power to help you through this.” She said.

“I’m saying, Ashlyn, that everything has to be done at a cost. I can’t just do things for free, no matter what I’ve asked of you. I didn’t expect it to come to this. I didn’t expect the kingdoms to be so torn.” she told me.

“So, what are you saying?” I asked her.

“I don’t get to go back?” I whispered. Tundra rested her head on my lap, nudging me to keep patting her.

“Sending you back isn’t the problem. It’s the cost that you have to pay.” Selene said, turning to look at me.

“What’s the cost?” I asked her.

“Tundra made the deal for Brad’s life and now she has asked me to give you back your life, but.” She started.

“But what?” l exclaimed, looking at her and then at Tundra.

“I’m sorry, Ashlyn. It’s ultimately your decision. You can stay here with your mother and father or you can go back, wolfless.” Selene explained, and I swear I blacked out

“You want me to go back without Tundra?” l asked her, still trying to process what she was telling me.

Tundra was whining and nudging my hand.

“lf you stay here, Tundra will be with me, waiting to be reborn. But if you are to go back, you can be with your son,” she said. But how was I supposed to live without my wolf? She’s a part of me. It’s bad enough that I couldn’t shift, but to never have her. Tears were running down my cheeks as I slid off the rock to sit with Tundra on the ground.

“So either way, I have to give up, Tundra.” I whispered, wrapping my arms around Tundra’s neck.

“Ashlyn, you need to go back. 0ur pup needs you, and so does our mates.” Tundra told me.

“How am I supposed to live without you? You are my best friend. How can you just give up your entire life for me?” I cried into her fur.

“Because l love you, and we will meet again. But you need to go back,” She answered.

“Would be nothing without you,” I whispered.

“You’ll be the badass Queen, you’ve always been. And you now have Sage to talk sh!t with. You aren’t giving me up, Ashlyn. I’m making the choice so that you can have the life you wanted.” Tundra nudged me.

“But I wouldn’t have you. Would I even be a Queen anymore? What the hell am I if l don’t have you?” I pulled away and brushed down her fur with my hands.

“You are still Queen, Ashlyn. You can still bless a mate bond and gifts. And you will be a witch, but you will not be a werewolf. But you still have your mates and your son. You have your sister and brother and your uncle. You will never be alone, Ashlyn.” The moon goddess answered.

“I’m sorry, Ashlyn. This is just what has to happen.” Tundra said, resting her head on my shoulder.

“l miss you so much. You are the best wolf any girl could ever ask for.” I told her, sobbing into her fur again.

“You need to head back now., Ashlyn. Time works differently here. You’ve already been gone for eight weeks now.” The moon goddess explained, and I was stunned.

“How? I’ve been dead for eight weeks?” I asked her, confused.

“You’ve been in a coma. Tundra made sure that your body stayed with the living. But now it’s time to go.” She said and before I could ever register what was happening, she touched my forehead and I fell into the darkness.

I opened my eyes to find myself in an unfamiliar room. Mason was sitting at a desk, looking at his phone.

He looked conflicted about whatever he was doing. I watched him until he placed his phone on the desk.

“Where is everyone?” I whispered. His head snapped in my direction and I could see the relief in his eyes as he looked at me.

“Ashlyn!” He exclaimed, rushing over to me. He sat beside me, wrapping his arms around my neck, crushing me to his chest.

“Mason, what happened?” I mumbled into his chest.

“Baby, you died. And then you weren’t, and it’s been eight weeks.” He rushed out, still holding me.

“Can I get everything unhooked?” I asked.

“Oh my goodness, of course, baby.” He said, pulling away from me. He leaned over the bed and hit a button, hearing a beep.

“Where are Derek and James?” l asked him. He turned his attention back to me.

“James is with Sage, and Derek had to go to the dragon kingdom. He had a meeting he couldn’t miss. His father is pushing him to take the throne.”

“Did anything else happen that warranted his father to rush the crowning of Derek?” I asked him when a nurse walked into the room.

“My Queen, you are finally awake. Thank the moon goddess.” The nurse bowed her head.

“l go get Sage and James while the nurse helps get you organized.” Mason said, k!ssing my forehead. I didn’t miss the lack of tingles when our skin touched.

What the hell was going on? I rubbed my mark as I watched Mason leave the room.

“How are you feeling, my Queen?” the nurse asked.

“Is it weird if I say I feel exhausted?” I asked he, turning my attention to the nurse standing beside my bed.

“Not at all, my Queen. Any pain?” She asked, and I shook my head.

“Okay, let’s get you unhooked.” She said.

It took about twenty minutes to get everything unhooked, and I was ready to stand up. My legs felt like jelly, but I was determined to get myself back to normal.

Well, as normal as I could, I already missed Tundra’s voice in my head. I was trying to hold back my emotions while I tried to walk, but I found I couldn’t stop the sobs from escaping. My knees buckled, and I fell to the floor, sobbing in my hands.

“My Queen, are you okay?” the nurse asked me, panicked, as she rushed over to me.

“Yes, I’m sorry.” I sobbed out.

“No need to apologize, my Queen. Your body may have healed, but your mind may take some time.” She said, and I nodded.

Mason came back in and rushed over to me. I could tell that he was worried, and to be honest, so was I.

“Baby, what’s wrong? Are you hurt? What happened?” he rushed out, kneeling beside me.

“Tundra didn’t come back with me.” I sobbed out. He picked me up bridal style and walked us over to a couch that was in the room. He sat down with me in his lap, holding me impossibly close.

“I’m so sorry, Baby. Thor can feel that she is gone.” he whispered, while l sobbed on his shoulder.

“I saw her and my parents and even Donny,” I cried.

“lt will be okay, Baby. Take a breath. I’ve got you.” He comforted me while I just cried. I don’t remember falling asleep, but I woke up hearing Derek’s voice. He was whispering to Mason about what had happened. I rubbed my eyes before I opened them to find my mate sitting on the coffee table across from Mason and me.

“Babygirl, you’re awake.” Derek breathed out, rubbing my back while Mason was still holding me.

“I’m sorry, Mason.” I told him.

“Nothing to apologize for, Baby. It’s a lot to take in.” He said, k!ssing my forehand. Derek grabbed my hand, and I couldn’t feel the tingles from his touch either.

“Why can’t I feel the tingles when we touch?” I asked them. And they both looked nervous about answering my question.

“When I died, did the mate bond break?” I asked them before they could answer my first question.

“Baby, the bond broke before you died. We don’t understand it” Mason answered. I pulled back his collar to find that our mark was now gone. I looked at Derek and he was already pulling back his collar to show that his was also gone.

“So our bond is gone.” I whispered, feeling my sadness bumbling to the surface again. Derek moved to the cushion beside where Mason was sitting. He pulled me from Mason’s lap to his. I was resting my head on his shoulder while I could look at Mason.

“Bond or not, you are still ours and we can always remark.” Derek said, and the sobs returned. I couldn’t remark them without Tundra. l am just a witch now.

“Babygirl, why are you crying? It will be okay.” Derek whispered to me while I sobbed on his shoulder.

“I don’t have Tundra. I can’t remark either of you.” I cried out.

“Then we mark you, Baby. You are still ours.” Mason said, leaning on Derek’s chest to look at me.

“I’m sorry. I can’t handle any of this right now. It’s bad enough that I lost Tundra but then, to learn, I lost our bond, as well. I’m feeling overwhelmed and l just want to see James.” I told them, wiping my eyes.

“Okay, Babygirl. Let’s go see if our boy is awake from his nap.” Derek said, k!ssing my temple. Mason helped me to stand, and I was still wobbling as I made my way out of the room we were in.

“Where are we?” I asked them. Both of them were standing on either side of me, not helping me walk, but to make sure I didn’t fall.

“This is my old house, Baby. Now it’s ours. We moved in about eight weeks ago, after everything that had happened. We moved you here from the hospital about two weeks ago.” Mason answered me.

“And were you working in my room?” l asked him, and he nodded.

“I would have been working in there as well, but I had a meeting,” Derek said, and I nodded.

“Seems lots has changed in the last eight weeks.” I whispered, more to myself than to them. I didn’t expect them to just wait around for me to wake up, but my life stood still as they had to move on and adjust to my absence.

“Babygirl, are you okay?” Derek asked me and I could hear his concern.

“l just want to see James. I have to figure out my thoughts and the events that happened.” I answered him.

“You saw the moon goddess?” Derek asked, and I nodded.

We came to a room just down the hall from where I was staying. Mason opened the double doors into a massive bedroom. There was a king-sized bed under a vast window. Across from the bed was a fireplace with a flat screen hanging on the wall above it. There was even a sitting area with leather couches. They beautifully did it in soft gray and light blue. I noticed a few doors around the room.

“Bathroom, closet, James’ room and the balcony.” Mason pointed them out, obviously reading my mind.

Sage entered the room from James’ room and let out a squeal.

“Ashlyn!” she rushed over to me, almost knocking me over as she engulfed me in a hug.

“Sage!” I exclaimed, squeezing her tight.

“I knew you would wake up. I never gave up hope.” She said through her tears.

“Is James up?” I asked her. I didn’t want to talk about me being gone. I just wanted to hold my baby boy.

“He is. I was just changing him. Come, I know he has missed you. He loves sleeping beside you.” Sage told me as she led me into James’ room.

Entering, I noticed that everything was done in a wilderness theme with wolves and dragons. He even had a black wolf and a gold dragon stuffy. I even noticed a gold wolf, and my heart instantly ached for Tundra.

Hearing James blowing bubbles pulled me from my thoughts about Tundra. I walked over to his playpen that was setup, to find him staring up at me.

“Hello, my baby boy. I’ve missed you so much.” I told him, picking him up and holding him to my chest. He was so much bigger than the last time I saw him. He had a full head of dark hair like Mason, and his sea-green eyes were so much brighter than before. I sat down in a rocking chair and held him close. He snuggled his cheek into my chest and sucked his thumb.

I sent up a prayer to Tundra as I rocked our pup.