Divorced, But Not Broken
Divorced, but Not broken Chapter 194

I tossed his jacket off me, landing on the floor when I didn't want to feel the scent anymore, driving me even crazier.

Why the f**k was he torturing me like this!? He knew that I f*****g loved him, and still, he couldn't even let me go home! No, just f*****g left me here to be treated like some goddam cage animal, just like always.

I was getting down from the bed when my voice betrayed me feeling my ankle not supporting me, my stupid drunk mind forgetting that I even had one when I had tried to get up and leave, making me curse even more when I was holding onto the bed, panting the slightest of the intense pain that was making me even sicker, not even able to get to a f*****g bathroom!

"Andrea, what did I f*****g tell you!?" I looked up, seeing Jonah walking inside the room again, scowling at me when I didn't care, f**k him! f**k him for even taking me here and pretending that he cared! He didn't, and we both knew it. He only loved her, the stupid b***h that was having my place!

"f**k you!" I was yelling it back when he sighed, seeing the jacket on the floor like he knew I had tried to make a run for it and failed. Great!

"Where are you going then, Andrea? Are you going to leave me? Is that it?" He was so f*****g calm when I growled back, feeling even more like an animal. He wasn't telling me s**t! I could go wherever I wanted, and he couldn't stop me. He never could!

"Yes! I'm f*****g leaving, and I am never coming back. You hear me, you f*****g asshole? I hate you! I hate you for everything, f*****g everything Jonah!" I was yelling it all over the building when he made a sigh, looking at me like he didn't know what to do with me anymore. He was right, him and me, we were f*****g history, just a short imagination from me thinking that someone would love me, really f*****g love me and not let me down!

"Goddam ungrateful b***h..." he was murmuring it when I started to laugh seeing his tired face. I was the b***h, me!?

I was the one that had loved and trusted him so much more than he ever deserved!

"Ungrateful!? Yes! Yes, I am so ungrateful for being raped, locked up, and my f*****g favorite part, having you pay Buck to date me! Have you any idea how f*****g humiliating that was to find out!?" I was starting to lose it; this was going to end now. I was not going back to him, not when he was f*****g married and had some illusion he was doing this for me. He wasn't that selfish bastard!

"He wasn't supposed to f*****g date you. That was his choice Andrea, one that I wasn't f*****g happy over finding out. You think you're the only one that has been suffering!?

"Jonah was getting closer, wanting me to see that he was having a hard time too, when I didn't believe him. No, he did not have a hard life, nothing like me!

"Oh, cry me a f*****g river! You got married. What the f**k, did you think would happen, huh, Jonah!?" I was limping on my foot, cursing when he didn't answer that, *****g coward!

A woman walked inside the room. She looked great around my age when I was still panting from pain and upset; she was wearing a cocktail dress and looked ten times better than me, a thousand standing in my shitty dress that was awful. Joseph was right about that part.

"Oh, Jonah, I can return when you are... Finished." she made a perfect smile when Jonah waved at her to come inside like he just wanted this s**t to get done. He could take me where he wanted, but I still didn't trust him or anyone he was associated with! "Oh dear, look at you, that hurts, doesn't it?" the woman made a smile at me when I just glared back, was she f*****g stupid?! Yes, it f*****g hurt! I couldn't stand up, and she commented about my ankle.

"Andrea, answer." I scoffed when Jonah was staring at me as if it would work, but it wouldn't, and there was nothing he could do or say to make me obey, nothing.

"f**k you." I said it back calmly to the woman that looked like she didn't know how to answer that, making Jonah even angrier for me acting like a b***h; surprise! I was one!

"I'm sorry for Andrea acting like this, Shannon; she is angry at me and is taking it out on everyone..." Jonah sounded so nice when he spoke, nothing like when he was barking at me, telling me to shut the f**k up, and making me feel bad again. What, did he f**k her too!? Was she my *****g replacement as the older woman!?

"Oh no, it's fine... I can see she is in pain, which makes anyone cranky..." the woman made another smile that I scoffed at, still standing on one foot and feeling my legs getting shakier, wanting to get out and leave them. They probably f****d. I wasn't going to stop him, that coldhearted bastard!

"You might want to sit down again, dear, or I think you will pass out soon. Your face looks a little pale, and you are drunk..." the woman smiled still when she snapped back like I didn't know I was drunk, I was, and I didn't care!

"Yeah, well... You are..." lost my insults when Jonah shook his head slightly, clenching his jaw like he wanted me to behave, and I never did

"A doctor? Yes, I know, and to be honest, I wouldn't come for anyone else, but Jonah is a sweetheart. I mean, look at him. Who can resist that handsome face?" she made a giggle that made him smirk, seeing my face drop, eyes going dark, and just wanting to kill her for saying that, f**k her! f**k them both!

"Now, sit down." She sounded way more commanding when I sat down again, hating her even more for every second. She could fix up my f*****g ankle, slap some bandage on it and let me leave. I wanted to get away from the stupid smiles they seemed to share like they had secrets I never would know, the story of my life.

"Okay... Let me look at that. I'm a bit cold; I'm sorry about that..." I cringed, having her hands over my ankle, making me curse when she was poking and squeezing me way more than I thought she needed, that b***h!

"Yes, it's not broken, just sprained. We can wrap it up... she has stayed off the foot for about two weeks." I hated that she was talking to Jonah, she was, and I wasn't stupid. I knew she was when he made a thankful nod, making me sick seeing his face looking like he really was thankful to the snide woman that was beaming at him, oh I bet she wanted him to f**k her.

"Thank you so much, Shannon. I'm sorry for pulling you away on a date, and...you look stunning, like always..." my stomach dropped, seeing Jonah beam at her right back like he was respecting her. I wonder how that felt like.... Wiping my nose with my arm, not caring that I was the complete opposite, just f*****g trash beside the woman with a cocktail dress and jewelry worth more than my house.

"No problems, like I said, wouldn't do it for anyone else..." she giggled when I was clenching my own jaw, arms crossed and giving it everything to not just attack her, pull the hair out of the nice updo she had, she really looked like someone that he would be outside with, appreciated and wanted to keep on her good side.

She was wrapping me up, making sure that the bandage was way too hard when biting the inside of my cheek, not wanting to show anyone how bad I was hurting my ankle and my heart.

Jonah was standing there, watching me with his mysterious eyes like he couldn't say anything more, or maybe he didn't want to when I finched seeing the syringe she had brought, like I was letting anyone f*****g drug me again, never!

"Stay the f**k back, you b***h!" I was leaning back when she looked at me like she didn't understand why I was struggling against her. Looking back at Jonah, he was worried seeing me not wanting to take it. I beat this was his plan all along, that bastard! Drug me and take me out, maybe lock me inside a f*****g white room again and make sure that I knew he was having the time of his life with Shailene!

"It's just for the pain, dear..." I was staring at the needle, trying to get air, when I was feeling my stomach turn, wanting nothing more than to get out when I couldn't, trapped with a b***h doctor that was having the hots for Jonah!

"Andrea, please... it's just for the pain. Nothing will happen to you; just let her help you..." Jonah sounded softer, wanting me to listen, when I shook my head. No! No! I was not letting anyone lock me up again. I refused!

"It's okay, I promise.." he was coming closer, locking eyes across the room with me, having his arms down that had been crossed, just observing me when I made a mocking laughter, f**k him!

"Don't f*****g tell me everything is okay, it's not! You hear me, Jonah?! I am not f*****g okay with anything you or anyone that is on your f*****g payroll wants to do to me!" I snarled, jumping down on my good foot, wanting to die from the pain in my other when I was supporting it on my toes, pushing away the stupid beautiful doctor that made a step back in her stilettos, f**k her!

"Andrea!" he grabbed me when I struggled, wanting to get out. He was not stopping me, not this time when the woman made a slightly shocked face like she hadn't expected me to be violent, surprised again!

"Let me f*****g go. I hate you! You are a f*****g monster, psycho, momma's boy!" I sped out every insult to his face when the darkness rolled over his eyes. The doctor made a smirk, she did, and I didn't care when he was sick of me struggling, grabbing my chin again, and making me stare at him like he always made me do when I met him, f*****g a*****e!

"Ungrateful, selfish b***h, f*****g kidnapper!" he was spitting it back to my stunned face. What the f**k did he call me, a kidnapper!? What the f**k was he talking about?

I was the one that had been kidnapped, not the other way around!

"You f*****g stole Kira away from me, twice!" he was serious when I didn't have time to answer that, forgetting all about the woman and why she was here when he was I holding my face with both his hands now. I hadn't even seen it happen; he was just here, and I was speechless, staring into the burning dark eyes. He was so angry at me for taking Kira.

"You never wanted her, never!" I was taking a deep breath, fighting back, his hands on my face burning, when I still didn't know if I wanted him to touch me, even if he wasn't giving me much choice.

"I made a f*****g mistake, and you are holding it against me for the rest of my f*****g life, is that it!? I was afraid, same as you!" he seemed to have forgotten the woman when I was holding my breath, wanting him to pull me closer, seeing that vulnerability that he didn't show anyone, not even me if I didn't drag it out.

"What...?" I wasn't sure if he had heard me or not. My voice was weak and tired, still pinned down by his amazing green-blue eyes, which were always my weakness. He made me feel like I was the only thing on his mind when he was staring at me like this, even if he was pissed off.

"I made a mistake, and you are not letting me fix anything, like always... that is f*****g selfish..." he let me go when I was taking ragged breaths, leaning back on the bed with my face still burning from his hands, just as warm as I remembered them. Jonah was staring at me, the woman was gone, and I was still trying to get my head around what he was telling me, that he was sorry, or that he hated me for taking Kira away from him, both?

"You f*****g took her away, and that wasn't your choice to make! I don't care what the f**k you were thinking, but you didn't care about what I was feeling, Andrea! You are always so f*****g selfish and act like everyone else are to blame. Well, maybe it's finally time you looked at yourself.

You stole my daughter and wanted me to sit on my ass and do nothing; of course, I was going to make sure that she had a good life, no matter how I was getting it done!" He was still angry. The raw hurt was making me want to cry hearing that, f**k... f**k... He was serious, wasn't he? I had left him, and ... I did take Kira along, but he didn't understand. He didn't care when I was out and homeless.

He never cared!

"Yeah, right. Is that why you were so f*****g caring when I was homeless? If it wasn't for Tom and Joseph... I don't know what the f**k I would have done, you get that!? you left me homeless after | was f*****g kidnapped and pregnant!" He made a smirk hearing that thinking I was naive. I knew that when my anger from nowhere was fading because I knew that face... oh s**t...

"That was me too, all me, Andrea; everything in your f****g life has been me, I could have *****g pressed charges against you when you left, and I didn't. I was fatig generous and made sure you had a house and a f**g good job. Even someone to f**k, it seemed!" he made another scowl thinking about that part, me f*****g Buck, yeah, I was. I wasn't sorry, not when he was telling me that he controlled me like a f*****g puppet!

"Soo f*****g generous, making sure that I had my whole fake life that you couldn't stay away from either, and you left again; you left me when James had me, sending in Buck and disappearing on me! How the f** can I ever trust you!?" my eyes swaying at his, tired of screaming, not wanting to sit down again, making him even taller against me. I hated that he was standing there and telling me that this all was my fault; it wasn't!

"I told you that I was coming to get you, and you had already gotten f*****g married and loved him!? I was trying to get out, and you didn't care like you never f*****g listened to me! I was trying to divorce Shailene, and you just told me to f**k off!" I stepped on the wrong foot when he said that, looking like he was struggling not to blow up.

Go all psycho on me when I scoffed. Let him. f*****g let him show me what he really was instead of telling me s**t that made me feel bad. He wasn't better than me, never was!

"You love her, you f*****g do, and don't tell me that you don't, f*****g liar!" I was screaming it back when my ass was leaned against the bed, taking off the pressure from my ankle that still was killing me, making me wonder if I was stupid for not letting that b***h give me the shot.

"I do. Is that what you want to f*****g hear!? Look at you, standing there and looking like you are going to f**i*g cry like it has been so f*****g easy for me seeing you with Buck. You loved him more than I ever had loved Shailene, she is my friend, one of my closest ones, and she gets what it's like to have my life!" He swung at the décor when I was still stunned over what he had told me, still growling, wanting to smash more stuff, and I knew that just as I wanted to scream and make sure the whole world could hear just how much I hated him!

"Your life You f*****g bastard! I have given you f*****g everything, and I had nobody! Not even my parents wanted me, so what if I loved Buck!? You made sure my best friend was killed, and he loved me more than anyone. I should f*****g return the favor!" I was crying and didn't care; it was loud and ugly, making me howl out the pain I was having in my chest. He did, he f*****g killed James, and I hated him for it more then than leaving me, leaving Kira, telling me that he got married, he killed James, and I loved him. He was my f*****g brother!

"He was going to kill you! Are you so f*****g stupid that you don't get that!? He was going to kill you, Andrea! I saw the place he was taking you to, you have no f*****g idea what kind of guy he was, and I didn't want you to! so yeah, I told Buck to kill him, and he deserved it much more than you will ever know!" I was going to the nice vase on the side table beside me, wanting to smash it over his head, hearing that he killed James and wasn't even sorry!

“f*****g murderer! I was just about to grab the vase feeling my wrist being snatched, the warm hand around it, making sure I couldn't move when he pulled me against him. My breath disappeared, having no air or words when he kissed I me hard and fast like he wanted me to shut the hell up.

I was still panting, feeling the sweet mint that made me want more when we stared at each other, still not understanding what had happened. I wanted to kill him and still wanted him to kiss me more

Jonah wasn't sure what had happened when he pulled back the slightest, making me grip tighter around his hard torso with my fingers digging inside his muscles. Whatever he was thinking about backing away from me, it was too late when he kissed me. I wanted him and didn't care that we were at a f*****g doctor's office. He was not getting away from me.

"Andrea, stop.." He told me to back off when I made a growl. What?! He didn't even want to f**k me anymore, was that it!? I could feel him being hard against me; he couldn't f*****g kiss me and then just back off! That wasn't f*****g fair!

I was just about to start screaming, feeling the vomit that made Jonah's face go blank, when I threw up and splattered the fancy wine all over his white shirt, shit...

"Nice..." he sighed, taking me away from him, still trying not to go a second time when I felt like I wanted to die. Jonah blamed me, and he didn't even want to f**k me; I was just some stupid we he tried to save.

"I'm sorry... fuck..." I was rubbing my arms, feeling like s**t when my hair was over my face, and I was pretty sure I would throw up at least one more time.

"let's just get you back home.." Jonah didn't wait this time, and I didn't struggle when he lifted up and leaned against his hard chest, not caring about the vomit. Closing my eyes and felt like the world was spinning; I wanted to die.