A Howling Heart
Chapter thirty-five

I awake in a startled sweat, jolting upright before my eyes focus on the dark room.

"What the-Matias."

I feel that he isn't near anymore.

He left.

My face falls as I try to take steadying breaths to calm my racing heart. I'm uneasy because I'm in the mansion alone.

I should just wait here for him.

Or I could explore. If this will be my home, there's nothing wrong with getting to know the place.

I'll just look around... I don't think it'll hurt.

He wouldn't leave me here if it wasn't safe.

I cautiously get up and move toward the hallway, listening for sounds of life once I step out into it.

How will I learn to live here?

Without my mother?

Because I know she won't come. No amount of convincing her will do it. She will not forgive Esai, and I have not, but my pull to Matias is almost unbreakable. Unless I move....

Far away from here again and never look back.

I expected his usual gruff tone to dispel my ideas of leaving him, but my mind was empty and disappointed. I actually enjoy his familiarity inside my head.

That's weird. I hope he's okay. He can usually sense anything, and if he sensed that, he would say something.

I shake my head, deciding not to worry about it before I move toward the stairs and climb down them.

I remember him showing me the living room.

I inhale sharply when my stomach bubbles with emptiness and realize I'm hungry.

I'm starving.

Maybe I should start with the kitchen.

Hard to explore on an empty stomach.

I think of when Matias wanted to feed me.

In the other house....

It's something so intimate. But he never got the chance to.

I search around, but the intricate hallways have me lost, and it isn't long before I'm huffing with frustration when I finally hear the sound of footsteps.

Someone rounds the corner in the hallway, and I come face to face with the blonde.

Of course.

Because that's just my luck.

One of Matias's lovers. One of how many? Who knows. Sex is 'primal.'

I resist the urge to eye roll before clearing my throat as her dark eyes scrutinize me. She places a hand on her hip, her brows rise, and her nostrils flare as if trying to get a sense of me by my scent. I wish she'd stop that. I feel violated....

"I'm -"

"I know who you are." She snaps at me.

I clench my jaw and nod as she continues to stare at me.

Well, clearly, she doesn't like me... so I'm gonna excuse myself from having a shitty conversation with her.

I move past her wordlessly, ignoring the eyes I feel on my back as I continue to venture for the kitchen.

Maybe I'll just go home.

It might be easier that way.

My mom!

I pat myself for my phone, realizing it's not on me.

The room.

I hurry back the way I came, carefully retrace my steps until I see the stairs. I ascend them two at a time, moving toward my room where I throw open my door and search for my phone, finally finding it on the bed. Oh no... It's almost six.

Please don't be up yet.

Sometimes, she gets up throughout the night when she's in pain.

I scroll through my phone and find many text messages from my mother.

Mom: Fae??

Mom: Where did you go?

Mom: Are you with Matias?

Mom: I thought I told you to stay away from him!

Mom: Anyone associated with Esai is someone I don't want around my daughter. His uncle killed your father!

I notice her typing.

Mom: And if you're not careful, he'll do the same to you.

What is she talking about?

Why would he kill me?

Mom, I'm fine.

Fae: What do you mean?"

Mom: You are the bastard child of the man who stole me from him.

Mom: That man's blood still runs through your veins.

Mom: You are not safe near him.

Fear paralyzes me. My fingers hover over the keyboard motionless as my heart begins to hammer wildly in my chest, and I feel the air in my lungs restricted with each passing, unbearable moment of anxiety. Esai wants to kill me...

The night he strangled me wasn't some dementia episode. Does he actually want me dead?

Did Matias know? Was he just trying to draw me out, make a game of things until he was fed up, and then let Esai dispose of me?

Panic sets me in motion.

I need to get the hell out of here.

I shove my phone in my pocket, tucking my hair behind my ears, before I make my way quickly into the hallway. I don't seek out anyone; I just let my legs carry me quickly down the steps.

This was all a mistake.

I knew it was.

As I move to the front door, I snap my head sideways and make eye contact with Matias's old lover, and she arches a curious brow as I reach for the door.

Is she going to stop me?

I pull open the door, and she doesn't bat an eyelash.

I guess not.

I'm thankful the sun is starting to come up, so I'm not totally blind, but a bit of darkness still settles below the tops of the trees, creating shadows everywhere.

It's easy. It's straight the whole way. I can do it.

I practically jog for the trees, ignoring the sounds of wolves howling as I push through twigs and leaves on foot.

Oh no. I hope Esai isn't out here. How quickly do their wounds heal?

Then again, the curse is back in full effect now that he's not near my mother. I know because she's also been on the receiving end of it.

I half expect Matias's strong voice to boom in the forest, my name on his tongue, but it doesn't come.

I can't dwell on his whereabouts. I just can't.

I'm leaving, maybe for good. Matias lied about Esai in the beginning. Had me feeling crazy about a man who'd attacked me when he was just covering for his uncle. He downplayed his uncle's intentions when he brought my mother to his house...

I feel my trust waning.

My mother is my family.

I have to go.

That's when I heard his voice in my head.

"Fae, where are you going?"

How did he know?

"Fae?"

I have to leave. My mother needs me; I'm sorry, Matias.

"I'm coming soon. I will accompany you."

"No Matias. I can bring myself home."

"You are not going back alone. I brought you here."

Just let me be!

I know if I'm not firm with him, he won't get the hint, and he'll continue to pry and say things that will make me question myself, and that's the last thing I want.

Tell me... because you never did.

Did you know that Esai killed my father?

Did you?

There's an urgency to the voice inside my head, and I wait, hoping the answer is no. I hope that I'll be able to turn around and wait and throw myself into his arms, but just by his hesitation, I know what the answer is. "Yes, I knew."

I feel my heart shattering into pieces.

You knew...

And was it your plan to have him try and strangle me? Was that for fun? Was it for fun to put me back in your house so he could finish what he started and kill my mother and me?

"Fae, you're being ridiculous -"

No!

I run through the trees harder, a million howls piercing the air with urgency as if they've all been alerted of a runaway. Me.

I'm leaving!

I will not be your mate. I will not succumb to a life of lies. I will not let you or your uncle hurt me and my mother. Never again. "Fae -"

Get out of my head!

I scream inwardly until he goes silent.

The sound of movement in the woods makes a burst of fear drive me quickly forward until my lungs are screaming, and my whole body aches. My heart feels like it's going to beat out of my chest, and the pain of betrayal rests heavy in my chest.

I think I see the road!

As I get closer to the clearing where the trees stop, the road meets nature. Matias's voice is back in my head. 'Fae, stop! It's not safe!'

Those are the last words I hear when something big knocks into me sideways, and everything goes black.