A Howling Heart
Chapter thirty-four

He pulls me on top of him on the bed, breaking the kiss to cup my face and regard me with softness.

"I will bribe you to stay," I say confidently, lowering my head back down and stealing another kiss.

He smiles against my lips, briefly letting me have my moment, and then he gently pushes me back to break the kiss.

"My Fae. Anima mea. I cannot stay. I must fight for my pack."

I groan and let my head fall against his shoulder. "How? How do you plan to fight? Just... I don't know. Let me go with you." He frowns. "No!"

I mirror his frown at the aggression in his tone before his face softens, and he strokes his thumb along my cheek to calm me. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be aggressive, but I will never put you in harm's way. I won't allow it." He shakes his head. "Allow it?" I parrot those words, my tone portraying my utter disapproval of his demanding nature. It doesn't matter, though. He shakes his head.

"Matias, that's not up to you." I raise my eyebrows at him.

He tucks a strand of my hair back behind my ear. "Yes. It is. You are not going, and that's final. You have not had your transformation." "Neither have you!"

"Yet I still hold much of the wolf's power, and you do not. You are not safe or protected, and if I have to worry about you, I cannot focus on my task." "Nothing will work with you. You aren't open to any of my suggestions. You-"

"That's because all of them put you in danger. I won't be okay with them."

He inhales deeply while giving me a chaste kiss before he gently pulls me back enough to have his eyes roam every contour of my face.

"I'm sorry if that disappoints you."

"I will Mate with you. Please don't do this. I fear for you." My desperation is in full force. It has to be the bond. Why else would I fight so hard for something I have refused to commit to? Something I keep saying I don't know if I want? This I'm sure of now? Why?

His eyes narrow, his breathing deep as he peers into the depths of my eyes like he's looking for trickery.

"You will mate with me? This isn't a joke? You can't go throwing that promise around, Fae. You know how important that is. How badly I want this..."

"I know how badly you want this. I suppose I don't want you hurt as badly as you want to be mated. It is a bribe, but one that I am willing to commit to. You can have me."

Maybe he'll consider. Maybe that promise is enough to make him stay out of harm's way. He's admitted how big of a decision it is. I will honor it. I just need him not to do something reckless. If he goes getting killed, what does that mean for the pain of not mating? Does it just skip me?

He sighs. "Is that what you're afraid of? The blood tie we will twist into a curse that leaves you like your mother and my uncle?" Disappointment laces his words.

"Well, it's part of the reason, yes. But wouldn't you be worried about that?"

"So, that's it? You're worried about the pain?"

He rolls so I'm no longer on top of him; I'm sitting up on the edge of the bed.

"Matias, wait." I reach for his arm, frowning when he flinches and then yanks his arm away from my grip. "I-I don't know what to say."

"Do not make a commitment for fear of that. The effects of the curse aren't nearly as strong if you don't openly reject your mate, and they die naturally. Spare yourself, Fae."

He's disappointed because he thinks that's the only reason I am agreeing.

"Matias lay back down in this bed, and let me explain, for Heaven's sake!"

He sighs. "You don't have to."

"If you don't lay back down, then I will leave."

After a beat, he lays back down.

"You defy and deny me at every turn as if I am as bad as my uncle. I am not. Have my actions not proved that?"

I stroke his chest with my fingers and lay my head on his shoulder.

He's right. He's not been as awful as his uncle. I am genuinely attracted to him; he wants to protect me instead of harm me. These are all pluses, for sure.

"Yes, you have. I want to mate for more than that, and I think deep down, you know that. Please forgive me. I just want you safe. You're growing on me."

He grins. "Anima mea... my everything. If you are to become mine, you must come to terms with this lifestyle. Our way isn't to cower in the face of danger. My gentle Fae, your soft ways are refreshing." Soft ways. It's called logic.

His chest rumbles with laughter, and I vibrate on top of him as he holds me in his arms.

"If I can't get you to stay, will you at least promise you'll be okay? Promise you'll be safe?"

"I promise I will practice caution."

He sighs, and all of that intimidating tension leaves his face, replaced by contentment. It's as if he's just a normal man and I'm a simple woman who's falling in love and enjoying a quiet evening in each other's arms.

"Thanks."

I go to move off the top of him, but he tightens his grip on me.

"Lay on me."

I nod and rest my weight on him, a soft moan leaving my lips when my body molds perfectly to his.

He strokes my back gently.

"See, you're capable of gentleness."

"Only with you."

His words are uttered out loud, and their comforting certainty lulls me slowly to sleep. That was his breathing and how my heart beat in synchronization, steady and connected. "Sleep, my love. Dream of me," he says before he rises from the bed with a soft blanket and lays it over me, making it even harder to keep my eyes open.

"Are you leaving?"

"I need to speak with some in our pack, and then I will leave."

He moves away, and I grab his arm and hold him still for a moment.

"Come back to me, and I will be yours."

He tenses in my hold before he grabs my hand and brings it to his lips.

"I've waited forever to hear those words. You have my word."

With one more soft kiss, he places my hand back in my lap and leaves the room.