A Howling Heart
Chapter twenty-eight

I can't sleep. I toss and turn, adjusting pillows and sheets until I've almost sailed into linen madness. How could anyone sleep with such heavy thoughts in their mind? Knowing that the fate of my life, the one I am destined to be with is the nephew of the man who supposedly killed my father, is almost too much for me to bear. There are too many questions I need answers to but don't necessarily want answers to.

Even the luring comfort of soft sheets and a foam mattress won't lull you into a dream state. My eyes continuously snap toward the nightstand where his keys linger, taunting me.

He has to come get them eventually.

I'm not sure how I feel about that.

After my mother mentioned his uncle was the result of my mysterious father's untimely demise, I've been on edge. A swirling darkness that grows with each passing moment begins to consume me.

Matias never told me. I'm sure he could've fit it in sometime between him hiring me and his uncle strangling me...

He must have known. There's no way the Alpha was unaware of what was going on in his pack...

And if he did?

Anger rears its ugly head. I'm blind with red, hot anger. It surges through me, wanting revenge for a betrayal I assume has been done to me.

I shouldn't want to be associated with someone like that. The nephew of my father's murderer. What kind of man does that make Matias? He's not as chivalrous as I was coming to believe if he has known something as grave as that this entire time. His uncle is a filthy, rotten murderer. Is Matias, too?

I begin shaking on my bed, unable to sit still whenever I envision Matias. As soon as my opinion fluctuates, I get slammed back into bitterness. I can't possibly mate with someone keen on keeping secrets.

I just cannot put myself in that position.

Add to that fact. It would kill my mother if I did... absolutely kill her.

My mind circles back to the plague. The plague in which my body is vulnerable and helpless to the spiritual decay that comes with denying my mate.

With a deep, shaky breath, I press my palms against my thighs and go to reach for the bedside lamp when I hear his voice.

"Fae. My soul. You knew I'd come," Matias says from within the dark. Although any average person would be scared, I feel a sense of calm only gifted to a destined mated pair.

"Y-yes," I stutter, feeling the intensity of his gaze on me.

I'm utterly irate at how breathless my voice is. I have absolutely no conviction or firmness whenever he's around, so I clasp my hands together with a nervous swallow and arch an accusing brow. "Did you know? Matias?"

His tone is guarded. "Know?"

He steps into my room, his arms across his chest as confusion changes his expression. His dark eyes waver my confidence, but I combat that with a few unspoken words of encouragement. Just be strong.

You deserve to know.

Everyone has lied or been misled for far too long in my life. Times up.

I swallow the lump in my throat and move forward with the confrontation. "About my father... Did you know your uncle killed him?"

His face doesn't change. His brooding eyes burn a hole into my head as he watches me, and I find myself shifting atop the bed, still not entirely comfortable with the way he can stare into my soul.

It affirms our connection with every look, and it makes it difficult to do something about my anger.

"My mother said he killed him. If you are the Alpha, you would know this, no?"

Slowly, the fury heightens; the sense of betrayal is unmistakable within me, even before he's granted me an answer.

Why is he not answering me?

Oh, right. He won't lie. He just will avoid it as if it were less incriminating.

How could he even look me in the eye, knowing he kept something this monumental from me? Claiming to need me, to want me, to cherish me, and yet controlling me like a toy of his to manipulate at his disposal. "So, you're just going to stand there and not say anything?" I scoff, glancing at his keys. "Just grab your crap and go." I nod to them dismissively.

I've never been pushed to the point of violence...

Then again, I've done many things I never would have since meeting him.

When he doesn't move, I push the issue again.

"Tell me. Did you know? Don't ignore.... Don't try to change the damn subject."

I reach for his keys, and he repeats my name, this time in a warning tone as if he knows exactly what I will do with them.

"Fae, enough of this." He gestures for me to stop. "I know what you're thinking."

I shake the keys mockingly. "No. I may be gentle but won't be lied to."

"I will not lie to you -"

"Avoiding the question is lying to me! Don't you understand? You are guilty by lack of omission, too!"

His eyes widen at my raised voice, but there's no fear in his expression. I imagine that a man like him doesn't fear anything.

He clears his throat and steps forward. "I do fear things."

"You're in my head again." I roll my eyes and grit my teeth.

"I can't resist."

All the self-control in the world except for when it comes to me, apparently.

"What is it you fear?"

He isn't silent now. Matias answers in a beat. "Losing you."

My mind and heart war; a big part of me wants to latch onto what he's just admitted and fall into the romantic safety net he probably thought he was throwing out, but I can't. I need truth. "Then answer me."

I hold his keys in my hands, balancing them between my fingers.

He sighs. "Come with me, Fae."

That's it...

Enough avoiding, enough lack of consequences.

I pull back my arm and unleash havoc on him.