𝔹𝕖𝕥𝕨𝕖𝕖𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕍𝔼𝕀𝕃 𝔹𝕠𝕠𝕜 𝟙
~ 4 ~

I bolted up in bed my heart pounding, tears pooling down my cheeks as I looked around my room. The glint from the sun trickled into my room like a blanket, expanding the length of my room stopping just a smidge away from my bed.

I wiped my eyes as I looked at the photo of my mom on my bedside table my heart aching at mom’s tender smile.

What was that? I thought as I slowly exhaled. My chest ached as I stood up.

Mom, are you hiding things from me?

I asked myself as I made my way to the dresser.

I mindlessly grabbed clothes from my dresser, tears fighting their way out of my eyes as I blinked hard.

I found my black dress shoved in the corner of my closet, the ominous feeling that clouded the dress made me nervous to put it on.

I will figure out what this warning is, I am not going to ignore it. Why was she so worried that she was going to die? Did she… Foresee… No way, there’s no way she would’ve foreseen it there’s no way.

I grabbed my hairbrush and towel and made my way to the bathroom closing the door before Blane could say anything.

I wonder if father knew, did he know about mom and her concerns? And why was I remembering him up until last night I didn’t even know what he looked like before the photos I had or his name.

It’s starting to feel like mom kept a lot more secrets than sheep appear to be, a lot more than telling your child not to worry about the financial struggles she tried so hard to keep from me.

“Good morning Zaphira,” Blane said warmly as I came downstairs. Blane’s head popping out from the kitchen as he smiled before disappearing.

“Good morning.” I said startled as I paused in the hall, the sound of food sizzling from the kitchen filled the air.

I took a deep breath, swallowing hard to keep the lump in my thought from exploding?

“Is that bacon I smell?” I asked as I entered the kitchen.

“And eggs and sausage.” He added grinning as I looked at the counter dumbfounded.

“You, okay?” Blane asked sounding concerned before checking the food. I looked at him a moment. My mind running.

“Y- yeah I’m fine I swear,” I said as I moved to the window small droplets of rain dripped down the glass.

Blane looked at me worried, from the corner of my eye could see he was watching me as if he was waiting for something, then turned after a while back to the cooking food.

I watched silently as I looked out the window the shrubs against the window blocking my view of the street, all I could see was the neighboring house and a few houses down.

“If you’re worried about the rain and the potential flood it doesn’t look like it happened,” Blane said his back to me as he scraped something off a frying pan. “I checked when I came downstairs the only thing that you have to worry about is the mud and squishy grass and probably the humidity.” He said sounding reassuring.

I glanced at him briefly as he was turning around holding two plates, the look in his eyes making my chest ache. I could see clearly the worried expression on his face as he put the plates down.

“No, really Zaphira what’s wrong? I know something’s wrong you can’t hide it.” Blane asked again his eyes meeting mind briefly.

I looked at him for a split second before turning away from him slipping to the side and opening the fridge. “Nothing really,” I insisted as I pulled the juice out. “Can you get the glasses from the cabinet?” I asked as I moved towards the table placing the juice down.

Blane sighed then turned towards the cupboard closest to the sink. I moved to the small dresser against the wall beside the back door grabbing my containers and counting them as if I was doing something important.

“Fine but if you’re not going to tell me what’s wrong can you at least come eat? And not pretend you’re counting the bins that I know you counted last night, unless you came downstairs in the middle of the night, you’re still going to have the same number of bins that you had when going upstairs.” Blane added as he sat down at the table.

How the hell did he know? I thought as I turned around and sat down at the table looking at the plate of smiling bacon with sunny-side-up eyes. We sat in silence as we ate the only sound came from the scraping of our plates as we ate.

“Do you still want me to come with you?” Blane asked breaking the awkward silence as he picked up his plate.

I looked at him blankly my mind blank. “What!”

“Do you want me to come with you? I know it must be hard… For you.” Blane said carefully.

I looked at him for a moment as his words registered in my mind.

“Blane… I appreciate the offer but you’re going to miss school if you come with me,” I said finally as I got up from my seat bringing my plate to the sink. “Don’t worry about me I’ll be fine and I’ll be at school this afternoon,” I assured him.

Blane finished his breakfast practically wolfing down as he chugged his juice.

I glanced at the box that sat in the hallway, the light from the doorway shining through like a little arrow facing the box as if to lure me to it.

Blane looked at me hesitantly then glanced at the bins before sighing. He got up from his seat and carried his plate to the sink, I could tell he was procrastinating wanting to know what could be bothering me.

“Alright, I’ll see you at school then… Oh and Zaphira try to be careful who knows what the storm caused last night.” He said before leaving the house.

Wait! How the heck did he know school was open? I haven’t even checked the TV yet… And what about the storm how could he… I thought breaking the momentary silence and rushing to the front door.

I swung the door open to see the sun rays shooting at the top of my door almost blinding me. The ground was dark and damp huge puddles scattered the sidewalks and roads. Blane walked solemnly down the sidewalk towards his house the shadows that blanketed the houses shield him from the sun.

“I guess the storm didn’t progress that badly,” I said to myself as my eyes veered to a broken tree that laid across somebody’s front lawn. well, that person is unlucky. I thought as I closed my front door.

I made my way back to the kitchen, the house feeling more empty then it used to. I stood staring at the kitchen sink my mind reeling as I ran the water.

Should I… But if I open it then what if it’s not what I think it is? What if it’s just something like old family photos or like what Blane thought just something to passed down from generation to generation or a necklace for hitting a certain point in my life.

I tried to focus on doing the dishes, the plates clinking off the metal sink as I washed each corner. I was almost done with the dishes when I could hear my phone ring, the sound startling me.

I put the plate down and moved towards the table where my phone lied facing upward revealing the caller ID.

Grandfather? What could he want? Did he get a call from the school or something? I thought as I checked the time. It wasn’t even time for the first period.

“Hello?”

I said into the phone as I made my way to the living room plopping down on the couch.

“Good morning Zaphira,” Grandfather said on the other end.

“How are you? Did you get released yet?” I asked as I looked out the window.

“I am fine dear don’t worry I was released last night Clarissa Picked me up,” Grandfather said sounding happy.

Why didn’t anyone call me when he was released from the hospital? God, I really hate my aunts and uncles.

“Clarissa is back?” I blurted as I could feel my heart thump in my chest. I could hear grandfather chuckle on the other and his frail laughter warming my heart.

I’ve always liked Clarissa she was one of the nicest aunts I knew on my father’s side, she was always treating me fairly when I lived with them.

“Yes, Clarissa returned a few weeks ago,” Grandfather said, the sound of medical bandages being opened in the background. “She returned earlier than expected, she said she finished her lessons a lot sooner than she anticipated. And since Margaret cannot be around…” Grandfather said stopping in midsentence to wince as somebody changed his bandages.

“Grandfather why didn’t you call me I could have—”

“Don’t even! A familiar voice said venomously. “You were not called because you were not necessary father already has the proper caretakers here at the house we don’t need some orphan taking care of him,” Lexi shouted on the other end.

I gritted my teeth annoyed, that familiar voice screeching in my ear like a banshee as she told me off.

Lexi, God, she irritates me I don’t even know why she hates me so much I didn’t do anything to her. She’s always found ways to get me in trouble or point out that I had no parents.

Like it was my fault or something, I remember a few months before I moved back into my old house, I grew up in Lexi screamed at me shouting it’s your fault it’s your fault and to this day I have no idea what she meant.

“Lexi! Apologize now.” Clarissa said from the other end.

“Why should I? it’s true!” Lexi stated angrily. “She’s not even part of the family she’s just the child of that stupid woman.” Lexi spatted.

I could feel tears rim my eyes as Lexi and Clarissa argued on the other end of the phone.

Why is Lexi so… What have I ever done to her? I thought as I blinked the tears away.

I Wonder if Lexi was mean to mom too. Was Lexi always this mean? Ugh… I moved out of the house for her what else could she want from me?

“Zaphira I am so—” Clarissa began her voice soft and soothing as she tried to console me, Lexi’s hissing and raging in the background fading.

“It’s okay…” I said shakily into the phone, my chest tightening as I suppressed my feelings.

“If you want to come and help, you’re more than welcome, I’m sure father would really want to see you.” Clarissa invited.

“No, it’s okay, as long as you’re there I’m sure grandfather will be fine besides…”

Theirs only so much of Lexi I can handle in one day adding more I may kill her.

“Ignore Lexi I know she’s mean but she is nice, and regardless of what she says you are part of the family.”

Sure, feels like…. The fact that the family didn’t want me makes me totally welcome and the fact that I practically had to move out because she had to return home for some reason.

I could feel a lump forming in my throat as I tried not to cry, Clarissa had always had this soothing and supportive tone.

“I’ve gotta go, I said my voice cracking as I tried to speak. “I’ve gotta go see mom and I don’t want to be late for school any more than I am,” I said guiltily as if I was doing something wrong.

“Oh… Okay, say hello to Mira for me.” Clarissa said sounding hesitant almost like she had something else to say but didn’t.

“I will goodbye,” I said before hanging up the phone.

I slumped on the couch breathing heavily as if I hadn’t breathed at all throughout the phone call. My lungs feeling heavy as the oxygen made its way down. I know that grandfather helps me afford the house but man do I hate Lexi. I thought as I slowly rose to my feet.

I glanced at the table where the box was sitting waiting for me to open it. Sighing I made my way to the fireplace and gathered up the bins I placed last night and moved towards the front door grabbing my bag for school in the process.

Just ignore the box Zaphira just ignore it.

Slamming the door I made my way down the street towards the cemetery, my heart feeling heavy as the beautiful sun pounded on my head warming my hair and neck. It doesn’t matter how many times I make the journey it just feels more painful than the last I wonder why? I thought as I looked up at the sky. The fluffy clouds slowly moving along the sky, showing the slow progression of the day the few times where you can blatantly see time pass.

I could see the cemetery in my view nausea washing over me as I walked up the small stone stairs that led to the rows of tombstones. Flowers, and gifts decorated random tombstones as I walked past. Gentle aromas of incense filled the air from the nearby tombstone as I stopped in front of mom’s grave.

Mom’s soft gentle smile shimmered in the sunlight from the little picture that was engraved on the stone above mom’s name.

I knelt in front of her my heart collapsing as all the feelings from last night and today have erupted. Tears pooled down my cheeks as I sobbed, the feeling of loneliness as I could see father’s tombstone resting beside hers from the corner of my eye.

“I wish you guys were here, I wish that everything was the same as before.” I choked as I sobbed into my shirt.

“Please come back, please we need you.”