Why My Mate Cries
Chapter 71

ALIYAH’S POV

It was already dark outside when the rain stopped pouring. All I could feel was the intense emptiness that built up in me as I sat on the bed that Jaxon lent me to rest on. It had been days since I returned to this land, yet my heart was still hoping that this was just a nightmare, and I’d wake up the next morning in Reid’s arm.

I wished desperately that this wasn’t true and that when I came back to my senses, I would see Reid’s face, and he would smile at me like the way he used to. He was supposed to stay with me and look after me while I carried our child inside my womb. I knew he’d become a great father and that he’d shower us with the greatest love.

But he was gone… He left me alone for good.

I wondered how Jaxon could act so brave after the death of his mate. He looked so tough, someone who was in control and could still think straight even though we both knew that Samarra was breathing the same air we breathe. I wanted to ask him how he managed to deal with the agonizing pain and how long it took him to finally accept it, because I don’t think I could do it the way he did.

Then I heard the knock on the opened door. When I glanced over at Jaxon, he was leaning on the door frame, watching me intently.

“Dinner is ready,” he said.

I responded dryly, “I have no appetite, but thanks.”

“You have to eat. There’s a baby inside your womb,” he reminded me.

His tone was seemingly telling me to stop this shit right now because I was pregnant, that this wasn’t just about me anymore, but about my baby. I let out a long sigh, feeling the guilt and despair piercing my chest. My baby was still inside me, yet I was already becoming an irresponsible mother. That’s why I needed Reid beside me. Without him, I am the weakest.

“How did you stop the pain?” I asked as I met his curious, bright blue eyes.

“I didn’t,” he muttered as he put his hand into the pocket of his jeans. “I’m still working on it. It’s a long process.”

“You look fine though,” I said bitterly, wishing I could be like him too.

“From the outside, yes. But, I’m dying inside, Aliyah.” He breathed hard. “Losing a mate isn’t easy. Aside from my wolf, who suffers inside, I feel like a big part of my heart was stolen forever.”

That’s exactly what I feel. Reid’s death had taken part of my soul, taken my happiness away, and now I was left with nothing but these dark feelings that were slowly killing me. I had never dealt with loss before, and I realized it was never easy to handle, especially since I was pregnant.

I knew I couldn’t do this without him, but our little one needs me.

“I’m sorry for your loss. I mean it,” he said.

The side of my lips curled into a smile. Reid, have you heard it? He was the only shifter who said those words genuinely. For the first time after I returned here, someone sincerely said sorry for what happened to you.

Please know that I was also deeply sorry….

“I’m sorry for what happened to your mate, too.” I drew in a long breath and offered him a sympathetic smile. “May they get the justice they deserve.”

“They will,” Jaxon responded. “It may take time, but I assure you they’d get it.”

***

The next day, Jaxon and I had planned out my escape, which would happen tomorrow. He said that the border security has been heightened ever since we came back from the annual assembly, perhaps because Shawn didn’t want me to get a chance to cross the borders again.

“But there’s a chance for you to escape with my help.” Jaxon then spread a map on the table and explained every detail of our plan. “I will be gathering the warriors for an emergency meeting in the forest camp regarding the unification. Keep in mind that we can only have a meeting for ten minutes. During that time, the back gate…” He pointed to a direction on the map that seemed familiar to me as it was the same area where I escaped the first time. “…will be unguarded. You have to be quick, shift into your wolf form, and cross the gate.”

I took the time to look at the map, trying to find any other route that would make it easier for me to escape, but it seemed that the back gate was the safest option I had. With that in mind, I nodded my head, with a sheer amount of determination to go back to the Jewel Pack.

That’s where I wanted to give birth and raise my baby. That’s the only place where I felt close to Reid, even though he was gone.

I turned to Jaxton and gave her a warm smile. “Thanks for helping me.”

He smiled. “Your baby deserves a life outside this hell.”

I pressed my lips together as I sighed. I only met him yesterday, but it felt like I already knew a big part of him.

Was it because we were dealing with the same pain?

“Once I’m able to escape, what’s your next plan?” I asked curiously.

“I’m going to lead the small group I’ve formed inside this land, and I’ll plan to end the witch’s life with my own hands,” he responded with utmost courage and bravery, and then he folded his map and put it back on his small shelf. “I’ll avenge our mates, Aliyah.”

“I hope there will be no bad b***d when it happens,” I said, worrying that there might be innocent lives that would be involved and hurt in his plan.

“I’m only after Samarra,” he reassured me as he stared at me. “I would never let any innocent life be taken away. That’s why I’m trying to be careful too.”

I nodded my head and inhaled sharply. Looking at him, I could see a matured werewolf who had the ability to lead not just a small group but an entire pack. In the event that the table turned, I wished he could become the Alpha of this pack, as Shawn did not deserve his current position.

However, I wouldn’t wish desperately that something bad happened to my brother. No matter how much I resented him for making my life miserable, I could never wish him misfortune. He was still my brother after all, but if I were to gauge his and Jaxon’s intentions, it appeared that the Gamma was fitter to become an Alpha because he cared for his pack mates.

“I think you will become a great leader, Jaxon,” I remarked sincerely, not just because he was helping me but because I did see he was capable of leading. “The members of the pack need someone as genuine, sympathetic, and brave as you.”

He tilted his head to the side, and grinned boyishly.

“Do you want me to replace your brother?”

I drew in a deep breath, and then shook my head. “If all else fail….”