The Beast's Possession
80: I hope you hate me.

**Aife

pov**

My head was pounding. I felt like I was run over by a truck or close to whatever felt like having your head being bashed against the wall at least a million times. Cautiously, I opened my eyes. Someone squeezed my hand so I tilted my head a little, ignoring the pain, and tried to smile as Zion gazed back at me. "You're okay, god, you're okay,” he whispered the words, sounding like an insane relief just washed all over him.

Somehow, I managed to nod in response. My throat felt too dry to speak, so I didn't bother to even try.

As if sensing my discomfort, Zion let go of my hand and shot to his feet. He grabbed a bottle of water, unscrewed the lid and dropped a straw inside it.

The moment the straw touched my lips, I realized how thirsty I was. I had no idea how much of that water I managed to gulp down before Zion pulled the bottle away, but it didn't feel like enough.

"Hold your horses, little lady, there's no need to rush," he chuckled as he set the bottle on the nightstand next to the bed.

I gazed at the bottle like it was my most prized possession and already missed the taste of water. No idea how it was possible, but that was how I felt.

"So, better?" Zion asked as he sat back on the chair and grinned.

"Yes," I whispered, this time, managing to smile.

"You scared us a little, but the doc said you'll be fine. There wasn't any blood or that sort of stuff, so don't worry. The guy who threw you against the wall didn't know who you are, and although this isn't an excuse, he was panicking and kind of tried to help his Alpha."

As Zion explained what had happened, memories came flooding back in. Bane was hurt, he wasn't healing and I was trying to keep him awake until someone would arrive and help him.

The next thing I remembered was being yanked off him and then, the darkness.

"Is he okay?" I asked.

Zion's face twisted in disgust. He huffed as if I offended him. "Why would you ask anything about him? His well-being doesn't matter, not after he literally assaulted the pack's Luna. Just because he didn't know who you are doesn't mean he can rid himself of the damn consequences."

My eyes widened a little. Somehow, Zion completely misunderstood what I was asking. "I meant Bane," I added.

Zion literally facepalmed himself and chuckled. "Right, I'm an idiot, sorry. Bane's okay. He woke up a few hours after the doctors fixed him up and pumped blood into that motherfucker. He didn't leave your side until I came and told him to go home, take a shower and change into something that isn't soaked with blood. I promised to stay at your side until he returns. I think he should be back anytime soon, it's been a while since he left."

Just as I parted my lips to ask Zion why Bane wasn't healing, the sound of someone clearing their throat broke the moment.

I glanced at the door to see Bane standing by it. His hair was still wet, so I assumed he didn't bother to dry off as he rushed back here.

"You can go and check on Rex, I'm good to stay,” Bane ordered Zion.

The only thing that really felt off was that Bane didn't bother to look at me. It was as if his eyes deliberately avoided me.

"I'll come back later to check on you," Zion muttered, stood up and left.

Next weird thing was the odd tension between those two. Usually, no matter how much they butted their heads, Zion and Bane were comfortable around each other. Now, it felt like they had built a wall between them.

Whatever happened between them had to be something big. Maybe later, I could get a moment with Zion and ask him for some answers.

That is, if Bane would agree to leave my side.

But then again, if I judged by how he was avoiding my gaze, it didn't look like he was too keen on staying around me for longer than needed. My eyes didn't leave Bane as the door behind him closed and Zion disappeared.

After a moment of extremely tense silence, Bane cleared his throat again, ran a hand through his messy hair and started walking towards me. His eyes were focused on the floor, not once gazing up at me, even when he took the seat where Zion had just been sitting while talking to me.

Bane's hand trembled as he slowly lifted it enough to take my hand in his. Still, without looking at me, Bane muttered a weak, "I'm so sorry."

Yet another apology, but this one surprised me more than any I had heard from him before, mainly because I wasn't sure if he had anything to apologize for.

"If I had called someone from the main house to come around and get me out of there while I still had enough strength, you wouldn't be lying in the hospital bed. You're hurt because of me. I'm so sorry that happened," Bane explained. "It's not your fault," I instantly blurted out.

I wasn't trying to calm him down or make Bane feel better about himself. I was telling him the truth. What happened was an accident, even Zion claimed the guy who yanked me off Bane didn't know he wasn't supposed to touch me.

As much as I disagreed with the idea of being the pack's Luna, the title came with some pretty big things I could use to my advantage.

Sadly, after what happened in that kitchen, I wasn't so sure about what I wanted anymore. Those few moments Bane's humanity poked through the blinds of his darkness made me want to be close to him.

Maybe I was sick in the head for wanting something I shouldn't want.

A part of me wanted to seek revenge for what he had done. The other part, yeah, that one was messed up and confused.

"It is my fault, we both know it," Bane muttered as his shoulders slugged and a choked sound left him. "I thought about something. I thought about it yesterday and even more, today, while you were sleeping here and I couldn't do anything to help."

Something in my chest squeezed. How was it possible that I almost knew what could be his next words? The same words I dreamed of hearing him say now were the same words I dreaded the most.

"Bane, look at me," I whispered as gently as I could.

Slowly, he lifted his head and his gaze met mine. His eyes were puffy and red, as if he had cried for hours, and now, tears brimmed them.

Seeing him show his vulnerability like this was truly surprising, but in a way, just as much endearing.

Men like Bane didn't show so many emotions unless they really felt them, and felt them deep.

I watched his Addam's apple bobble as Bane swallowed and then licked his lips. "If you want to go, you're free to leave. I can't hold you here against your will. Not anymore. The same with other women - they're free to leave if they choose to do so. I feel something," Bane whispered and brought his hand to the middle of his chest. "Here. I try not to, but the feeling isn't fading, no matter how much I'm trying to shove it away. And the longer I looked at you lying here, the clearer I saw how many mistakes I've made, how much I mistreated you."

Bane squeezed my hand and looked away, clearly overwhelmed. "I hope you hate me, because I would. I hope you despise me and will never forgive me. And even more than that, I hope that after you leave, you will never come back. Even if I break and go after you, I'm begging you, don't come back. Ever. No matter what I say or do to win you over, don't let me in."