Spiral (Off the Ice Book 2)
Spiral: Chapter 25

INSTEAD OF HEADING back home like I had planned, when Sage fell asleep in my arms halfway through the movie, I didn’t wake her up. She doesn’t often sleep this well. So we stayed here all night.

Wisps of curly brown hair shine like gold-infused thread in the morning light. The breeze isn’t cool anymore because time must be crawling toward noon for the temperature to be this warm. Our blanket is long forgotten as Sage lies on top of me, her legs tangled with mine and one hand splayed over my chest. It’s pure fucking bliss.

But also pure torture. Because her hand is like a brand on my chest, and as if the nerves in my body know she’s near, they send a jolt straight to my dick. My morning wood isn’t concealed well, but I’m trying my hardest not to have it be the first thing to greet her. I look at her to refocus on the pretty features of her face, and not her perfect body clinging to mine.

To distract myself, I pull out my phone to take a picture of a sleeping Sage and post it. I’ve noticed how hard she’s been working by posting every week and replying to her comments. So, if one post from me helps relieve the pressure, I’d do it without her having to ask.

As I swipe a loose strand from over her eye, she blinks. Her hand slides up my chest, and I hold it. Instinctively, I kiss the inside of her wrist and feel the flutter of her pulse against my lips. She likes it when I do that. The simple, affectionate touch makes her whole face light up, and although she tries to hide it, I see her shy smile.

“Did I wake you?” My voice is raspy from sleep.

“No, but I can go back to sleep if you want to continue watching me like a creep.”

I chuckle. Only Sage can be disoriented from sleep and still have a quip ready.

“I checked on your brother. His friend’s mom said she’ll tell him to call when he’s up.”

“What made you like this?” she asks. “So caring and sweet. Was it your mom?”

The question makes me smile. “Yeah, she is probably a big reason, but I think ever since I was adopted, I’ve liked caring for people.” It made me the overprotective father figure in our friend group, and the guys like to rag on me about it.

“How old were you?”

“Four.”

She sits with that for a minute, and it feels weird to talk about this, but with her, I want to. I want her to ask me anything just so I can continue to hear her voice.

“Do you talk to your biological parents at all?” When she looks at me, she must see something tense in my face, because she pushes up to sit. “Sorry. Don’t answer that, I’m sure that’s an annoying question.”

“No, I want to tell you.”

A tsunami of emotions surges across her face as she waits for me to continue.

“I don’t know them, but I’m in contact with my dad because I send him money.”

Perfect brows furrow. “Why?”

“So he doesn’t try to blackmail my parents for a quick check. Again,” I reveal bitterly.

Sage twists her body to face me and give me space, but I want to touch her. It’s so much easier to talk about this when I can feel her in my arms as a tangible, stable thing.

“I was eighteen when we won the world juniors, and I knew that was the high I wanted to chase for the rest of my life. Except that night we celebrated, and it got out of hand. The visiting team crashed our party, and everything changed.”

Recalling it after so many years feels like removing a sharp object that’s been stuck in my skin, but Sage draws soothing patterns across my palm that urge me to continue.

“The party was happening in a few of the adjoining rooms, and we were all drinking. For us, a championship, alcohol, and a few girls made it feel like we were on top of the world.” I give a wry laugh at how naive we were. “We weren’t letting in just anyone, only people from our school, because our coaches would be pissed if they found out we were drinking, but there was this one girl that I happened to hit it off with.”

I recall that night clearly. There is no way I could ever forget.

“She stayed for a while, and soon enough we were in my room, and we ended up sleeping together. I fell asleep thinking she was right beside me, but the next thing I knew, I woke up to see both my parents at the edge of my bed. They were staring down at me with looks of disappointment that still haunt me to this day.”

I take a deep breath and go on. “Turns out the girl only snuck into the party so she could target me. She had pictures of me drinking, and later, when I went to sleep, she took more pictures, ones that made it look like I had taken drugs. And she sent them to my parents.”

“Why would she do that?” Sage asks in horror.

“Apparently, my biological father found out my adoptive parents are rich. He was struggling, and he found an equally desperate college student who was willing to do anything to pay her loans. So, he blackmailed my parents with the threat of releasing those pictures. If that happened, I’d be banished from hockey in seconds. My acceptance to Dalton would be revoked, and my dream to play in the NHL would be just that. A dream.”

“Did your parents believe him?”

“When they came around they heard what I had to say and decided they trusted me. And the girl who took the pictures came clean a few days after the whole thing. I told them I did have alcohol, but I’d never touched any type of substance. That’s all they needed to get one of the best lawyers on the case.”

“Is that why you don’t drink now?”

I nod.

“And it’s why you haven’t … ?” Sage trails off, but I know what she’s thinking.

“I haven’t been with anyone since,” I confirm. “I don’t know if it’s because I’m paranoid or because I can’t get the memory of my parents’ disappointment out of my head, but it’s easier this way.”

Sage nods quietly, staring at me in a way that feels like she’s holding my heart in her palms. “And your father? Why isn’t he in jail?”

“We settled. If the whole thing went to court, the media would have followed it and he’d get what he wanted. My parents believed that he would be out of our lives after they paid him.”

“But you’re still paying him?”

“He threatened me after the fact, and I never wanted my parents to regret letting me into their life. So, I never told them, and I’ve been paying him for years.”

Sage’s lips part in shock. “But he tried to extort you, to ruin your career and blackmail you. How could you give someone like that a dime?”

I understand where her outrage is coming from. I feel it myself, but I’ve lived with it for so long, it doesn’t matter to me anymore. “I needed him gone. The disappointment on my parents’ faces that day was enough to solidify that decision.”

“And your parents still don’t know?”

I shake my head.

She gives me a sympathetic look. “Are you ever going to stop?”

“One time the money transfer was delayed, and the second he didn’t see the money, he asked how much I really cared about my new NHL career.”

“That’s blackmail. It’s—”

I shake my head. “It’s not. The arrangement was my idea, and it’s working for me. Nothing will change that.”

Sage sits up straighter to level our gazes.

“But it’s not working for you. You can barely let yourself relax around people. What that girl did to you because of him … you won’t let anyone in, Elias. Not even me.” Her voice cracks.

I pull her onto my lap, holding her face in my hands as ragged breaths puff past her lips.

“I feel more myself around you than anyone else. You make me feel like I don’t need to hold back, and—fuck, Sage, you have no idea how much I want to let go when I’m with you.”

“Then why don’t you?” Her hands move to my shoulders. “You carry so much weight on your shoulders, Elias.” Her gaze settles on mine with a sort of heavy determination. “I want you to give some of it to me.”

Her words do the opposite of what she intends, and I feel gutted. This girl who carries everyone’s pain and problems is earnestly asking me to give her more. To give her my problems because she would rather carry them than see me crumple under the weight. Sage is beautiful and strong, a ray of light in a field of darkness.

“I don’t want to know you like everyone else. I want the real you,” she says.

I glide my thumb along her smooth cheek. “Then that’s what I’ll give you, but be patient with me, yeah?”

Sage brings up my hand and kisses the inside of my wrist. The warmth of her lips singes my skin. “Always.”