Spiral (Off the Ice Book 2)
Spiral: Chapter 23

WALKING PAST BUS stands with your fake boyfriend’s face on them is an odd reality.

I spent the entirety of the bumpy ride back home from work on the phone with Jane Westbrook. Elias’s mother is as sweet as they come, and it’s no wonder Elias is such a gentleman.

Since his parents are retired, they spend most of their time on vacation, and she told me on their most recent one they attended the ballet in Paris. Apparently, I’ve had an influence on them.

On my way down the block to the apartment, my phone vibrates again, but this time it’s a video call from Sean. When I answer it, I point the camera to the large posters of Elias on the bus stand, and Sean’s favorite, number twenty-two, on another poster beside it.

“I wish I was there,” he says when I flip the camera back to myself.

“Want me to sneak you out?” I joke.

“You’re a terrible influence.” He laughs. “But I actually called to ask you something.”

“What’s up? Is it to get you a signed jersey?”

“Oh, yeah, thanks for sending that, by the way. They’re sick. Josh was stoked to get one too.” He moves to his closet to show me his brand-new Toronto Thunder jersey, with the back signed by the entire team. “I got it in the mail a few days ago.”

Elias had to have sent them to him. Of course he did.

“So, back to why I called. One of my friends invited us to hang out at his place during our midsemester reading break. He’s got this new console that hasn’t even come out yet.”

When Sean first started school, he was an outcast. He didn’t fit in with the rich kids, and the teachers didn’t approve of him being there. But after a few years, I’m glad he’s made some solid friends.

“That sounds fun. But remember the rules. I’ll need your friends’ names, their parents’ numbers, and the address.”

“I’ll text it all,” he assures. “Oh, and you need to confirm with the school that his mom can sign us out.”

“Okay.” I shuffle through my purse for my key. “And do you remember the phone rule?”

“I have you and Uncle Marcus on speed dial, and I’ll call you every day.”

I smile. Our uncle would love to know that he’s on our speed dial. “Good, I’ll call their parents and confirm with your school before you go. Call me every night, Sean. If you miss one, I’ll show up there. With a bat.”

His laugh is brittle. “So … you really don’t mind?”

“Why would I? I guess hanging out with your older sister gets a bit old, huh?” My apartment is still damaged from the fire, and I’d never make Elias house more Beaumonts under his roof. One is more than enough.

Sean doesn’t answer.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s on the twenty-eighth,” he informs. “It’s the day I was supposed to head out so we could celebrate your birthday.”

I halt on the sidewalk and mutter an apology when someone bumps into me. My heart twists into an uncomfortable ball that squeezes so tight I think it’s going to pop.

“I’m sorry. I don’t even know why I asked. I can cancel. We were just—”

“No.” I fight through the stinging behind my eyes. “Don’t cancel. We’ll celebrate after your semester is over. You should spend time with your friends.”

He sees right through my act. “Sage, it’s really not a big deal. We always celebrate your birthday. I shouldn’t have even said yes to them.”

Talking is difficult when it feels like there’s a knife jabbed into your throat. “Sean, I don’t mind. I have that big showcase coming up, and I’m so busy it would have been hard to make time around that.”

“You’re sure?”

I nod tightly. “We’ll celebrate another time. I have to go, but I’ll call you later!”

Ending the call, I finally let my face fall into a frown. The last time I was alone on my birthday, Sean wasn’t born yet, and my parents left me home alone to go do God knows what. I hated my birthdays for the longest time, until Sean and I finally left that house and made them special again. But I don’t think he ever realized how important those days were for me, because I made sure on his birthday he would never experience the loneliness that I felt. There’s a deep pit in my stomach that feels a lot like betrayal, but I can’t blame Sean for wanting to hang out with his friends. If I was a teenager I’d want to do the same thing. And if he’s happy, I’m happy too.

When I open the door to the apartment, I head straight past everyone laughing in the dining room. Elias’s friends are great people, and I love hearing their crazy stories. But today, their laughter stings. I’ve never had the luxury of friends, and now it’s hitting a lot harder than usual. I wave when they spot me, and find the nearest door to lock myself behind. It happens to be the main bathroom, and once I’m inside, I regret not sulking in Elias’s room instead.

My tears are a broken faucet, and they fall harder when all the rejections weigh on me.

Rap. Rap. Rap. “Sage?”

Shit. My heart takes a leap when Elias’s voice comes after the knock. I stare at my tear-soaked face in the bathroom mirror. Taking a deep breath, I try to compose myself.

“Just a second!”

There’s shuffling on the other side of the door, and just when my heartbeats calm, his deep voice filters through the door again. “Can you open the door for me?”

I’m a hot mess, and all his friends are here. He’s going to think I’m crazy. “I can’t,” I say, my voice not doing a good job of concealing my emotions this time.

“I know, but I want you to.”

With a sudden sweep of confidence, I open the door to see Elias’s softening gaze. His eyes dart around my blotchy face and before I know it, he’s stepping inside and locking the bathroom door behind us. His hands cup my face as his thumb runs a smooth touch along my jawline.

“Why are you crying?” His words are laced with concern.

My gaze drops to the floor. “It’s stupid.”

“Not to me.”

Without any forewarning his large hands frame my waist, and he hoists me onto the counter. Shocked, I sit there as he goes over to the sink to grab a small towel from the shelf, soaking it under the faucet.

Elias steps between my legs, taking up all the space. “Can I?”

I’m not sure what he’s asking permission for, but I’d do anything not to be the loser crying in his bathroom. So I nod, and when he presses the wet towel to my face, the warmth of it seeps into my skin and descends to strangle my heart. He gently wipes my tears, one hand around the nape of my neck as he focuses intently on the mascara stains under my eyes.

“You don’t have to tell me. But whenever you want to talk, I’ll listen.”

This time it’s the gentle words that break the dam, rather than the weight of rejection. Tears spill down my face, and I can’t help the wobble of my lips. But Elias doesn’t leave, he stays. He stays and wipes my skin with a warm wet towel, and places a gentle hand on my neck.

I sniffle. “I don’t want to bore you.”

“You couldn’t if you tried.”

“I don’t think I can talk right now,” I finally admit.

“Then I will.”

My gaze snaps to him in pure shock. Elias offering information is a rarity. Not even when I spilled all my family history on our first date did he share anything. The man is a vault.

“Remember when you talked to my parents on the phone, and you asked who I took after?”

I nod.

“I’m adopted. The Westbrooks took me in when I was a kid, so that’s why I don’t look like them. I look exactly like my biological father. We even have the same name. That’s why everyone calls me Eli. I’m not exactly a fan of my full name.”

I wince, knowing I’ve adamantly called him that since the first day we met. He must see that I’m about to apologize for that because he cuts me off.

“I like it when you say it.”

I suppress an idiotic smile. “You’re giving me a lot of your firsts, Elias. Careful, or I might think you like me for real.”

“I do like you, Sage.”

My heart sings a happy tune when our eyes lock, and it makes me want to drop the weight from my shoulders. “My birthday is a week away,” I start. “Yet every year I get older, I’m always stuck in the same place. It feels like I’m always running but never getting anywhere.”

He listens intently.

“And I hate crying like this, but I wasn’t allowed to feel back then, so now when I have an emotion, I don’t suppress it. I could say my head hurts, and my mom would say she has chronic migraines. I would cry about my shitty ballet teachers, and she’d tell me she’s cried so much in her life that she’s run out of tears. She made it a competition, and sometimes it felt better to just lose.

“One of the reasons I joined ballet was to escape my house a few times a week. It was rough being around my parents when they fought, and it got worse when Sean was born. I felt powerless. Like I was too much, yet never enough. I could barely keep up with school and home life, but I knew if I let ballet go, I’d fall into the pit that they dug for me, and I’d never get us out. Lately it’s been feeling like I’m still there.”

Elias drops his hands to either side of me on the counter. “Sean is in a great school, and probably headed to an even better college. You’ve won awards, done so many showcases, and now you’re going to secure an audition for one of the most prestigious theaters in the world. You’re far from stuck.”

His words soak into me like warm oil.

“Your parents left you with a massive responsibility, yet you continue to blame yourself for them abandoning you and your brother. They decided drugs were more important than their children, and they left a fucking kid to take care of a kid.” He exhales harshly. “You persevered through all of it and came out as this strong, capable, beautiful woman. There is nothing about you that says you’re weak. That word doesn’t even belong in the same sentence when describing you.”

I take a hiccup of air, gulping it down like I’ve just resurfaced from the ocean. “Wow. You’re kind of good at this pep talk stuff.”

My whole life, I’ve been the one taking the lead. As exhausting as it is, there has never been a moment where I could turn that part of me off. It’s always felt like it’s me against the world, and it may be, but even the illusion of someone carrying the weight for me is enough to loosen the age-old knot in my stomach.

He rubs his thumb against my cheek. “It’s pretty damn easy when

I’m talking about you.”

I smile and so does he, and when there’s a knock at the bathroom door, he shoots me a look that asks if I’m okay, and I nod. So we head back out. Hand in hand.

SUMMER AND I retire to the balcony after dinner to watch the colorful skies slip away into darkness. The guys were complaining about having to head back to Dalton tomorrow morning, and I can’t help but miss all of them.

“You okay?” she asks, leaning against the black metal railing.

“Yeah. Elias kind of has a way with words.”

She nods. “He’ll always make sure the people he loves are cared for.”

This time, I don’t correct her. For once, I’d like to be included in that category, even if I know it’s not true.

“Sum,” Aiden calls her. “Remind Dylan why your dad does not like him.”

Summer glances back at me with an amused expression, then follows Aiden back inside.

I sit on the ground to watch the quiet sunset. This is a view I’ve never seen from my apartment. The most I could see was abandoned shopping carts and overgrown bushes.

“Saved you a cupcake,” Kian says when he steps onto the balcony.

He lowers to sit on the ground beside me, holding out a pink-frosted cupcake. I crack a half smile and take it from him. The silence isn’t uncomfortable. I’m not sure what it is, but his presence is oddly comforting.

He looks at me with a soft smile. “You know, sometimes it takes time to realize there are people in the world who want to help you without wanting anything in return.”

I have a feeling he also noticed something was wrong when I came out of the bathroom with puffy eyes. Nobody brought it up and I was grateful for it, but I’m pretty sure it was because Elias gave them a silent warning.

“Sometimes it isn’t so easy,” I whisper.

Kian turns to the dark sky. “I don’t know if that’s true. I think people show you who they are pretty quickly. It’s up to you to decide if you want to trust them.”

He’s right about that. Elias showed the kind of guy he is immediately. I didn’t need to think long about wanting him to be my fake boyfriend.

I take a bite of the cupcake. “Philosopher Kian tonight?”

“You don’t know? I’m like an advice wizard to these guys. They can’t do anything without my help.”

“For some reason, I actually believe that.”

He bumps his shoulder against mine. “I think we’re going to be great friends, Sage.”

“Is it because I’m the only one who won’t rag on you?”

“Pretty much.” He gives me a sideways look. “Don’t go changing that.”

“I won’t.”

We sit like that for a while. The only conversation is the one happening inside, and I can’t help but bask in the quiet understanding that settles between Kian and me. It’s the kind of quiet that makes you feel heard. Something I never experienced before I met Elias.

Note to self: Let the light in.