Spiral (Off the Ice Book 2)
Spiral: Chapter 10

TORONTO THUNDER’S ROOKIE IS OFF THE MARKET! CHECK OUT THE ARTICLE BELOW TO FIND OUT MORE.

Six thousand followers in twenty-four hours. After the news broke that Elias Westbrook is turning a new leaf with a serious relationship, my phone blew up with so many notifications it got hot enough that I had to turn it off.

I’m exhausted from an audition where every time I’d so much as plié, my foot would cramp. The director of the ballet company noticed my wince and immediately wrote me off. At least I think she did, because when I was done, she yelled, “Next!” and I was swept offstage like dust by a broomstick.

Once I got on the bus and put in my earphones, I fell asleep. The noisy rumbling of the engine and my head bumping against the glass window jerked me awake. That’s when I checked my phone.

It wasn’t until I watched the full interview that my stomach dropped.

She’s my girlfriend.

I hate everything about it. The way he looks so hot in that stupid charcoal gray suit. The way his hair is so perfectly done, even though I know it’s naturally wavy like that. The way his face shadows with protectiveness when an interviewer brings up my name. I know he’s just irritated that it has gotten this far when the last thing he wants is to be attached to me.

He could have told them that we’re not dating. But he didn’t, and I don’t know what’s worse.

The judgmental knife he left in my sternum is still there, reminding me that everything about my idea was a mistake. Like I’m some bimbo who goes around offering fake, no-strings-attached relationships to rich athletes.

He’s a famous hockey player, while I only had about ninety followers before meeting him. My few awards and competition prizes mean nothing compared to his achievements in high school and college. I can’t even bag a role in a production without using someone else. It’s pathetic. My streak of ballet rejections hardly makes me appealing as a girlfriend either.

I never should have asked him in the first place, and I never should have expected him to say yes. But now, with his impulsive response all over the news, I bet he’s waiting for his slipup to die out, just like my career.

I can’t bother to switch on my phone to read anything else about my fifteen minutes of fame. I can’t even bring myself to leverage the limelight to my advantage. It would just feel plain wrong, knowing he’s already turned me down.

It isn’t until Sean video-calls me on my laptop that I have to process the damage that interview has done. Elias Westbrook is officially on my shit list.

“Eli Westbrook is your boyfriend ? I thought you said it was one date,” he practically shrieks in his high-pitched voice that’s becoming deeper as the days go on. I never thought my little brother going through puberty would bring tears to my eyes.

“It’s complicated.”

He appears skeptical. “Need me to set him straight?”

I chuckle. “I think I can handle him.”

His eyes are wide like he can’t believe I’m confirming what he’s heard. “Does Uncle Marcus know?”

Falling back against the couch, I sigh. “I bet he does now.” There’s a part of me that hopes he hasn’t seen the news, but it’s probably impossible since he’s the general manager of the damn team.

“Some of the articles say you’re getting married.”

My burst of laughter hurts my stomach, and it takes several seconds for me to recover. Elias was right. They write anything to get views. “False. Stop reading the articles.”

“I’m not! Some other guys were trying to tell me about it, but I wanted to hear from you.” Sean runs a hand through his hair. “Are you happy, Sage?”

Sean’s round hazel eyes watch me closely like he’s preparing to detect a lie. Sometimes he looks so much like my mom that it trips me out. The curly brown hair, the long, straight nose, and his light brown skin. He’s every bit as Moroccan as my mother. Both of us got our hazel eyes and height from our dad. Sometimes I think I got his attitude too.

Now, the look Sean’s giving me is reminiscent of the one he gave me as kids. Whenever our parents would be off on a bender, I had to make up an excuse to tell Sean. I hated hiding things from him—especially because he just wanted to know where our parents were, and he had every right to know. So, when it comes to real things that affect both of us, Sean always gets the truth from me. I’d never treat him the way our parents treated us.

One of my last memories of my parents, my mom, who had been sober longer than I’d ever seen her before, looked me dead in the eyes and said, “It’s a curse being a part of this family. You’ll try your whole life to fix each other, but we’re not fixers, Sage. We burn things to the ground, and we’ll never be good enough to even sweep up the ashes. Don’t ever think you’re worth more than what you came from.” Then she walked out after the paramedics to follow my dad to the hospital.

When you’re stuck in a house like that, the only thing you wish is for time to speed up—to live the life where you’re no longer tormented by the decisions of the adults who were supposed to protect you. I have that, and I’m holding on to it with both hands, even if it’s nothing like I imagined. I’d happily continue working double shifts just so Sean wouldn’t have to struggle the way I did.

Constantly working and being on the move with auditions keeps those creeping thoughts at bay—the ones that tell me to slow down and that running won’t make my past disappear. But I can’t listen, because those thoughts bring the sick feeling of knowing that, no matter how terribly I’ve been treated and no matter how long I haven’t had contact with my parents, if they showed up at my front door today, I’d let them in. Just to pretend I had their love. I want to be loved unconditionally and not for what I can do for someone.

But this time, it’s not about our parents, it’s about my miserable love life, and I don’t need to tell my little brother about that. “I’m always happy, bud.”

From the way his lips thin, he knows I’m lying, and this time he pushes. “I mean, like for real. The ‘in love’ kind of happy.”

“What would you know about that?” I quirk a brow, and he shrugs sheepishly. “I’m not in love, but I’m happy. I have ballet and you.”

“And Eli.”

Elias is so far removed from my real life that everything in the media feels like a fever dream. I’ve even stared at the picture of us from our date a thousand times, still unconvinced that it’s me. The happy, smiling girl who let him carry her like she felt safe enough to let go of control—she doesn’t feel like me.

“Yeah, him too.”

After Sean fills me in on school, I let him off the call only to have a Hugger notification snatch my attention. The bright orange logo of the dating app makes me cringe, and I swirl back to last night’s reckless activities.

When Elias said we’d never work, I came home and downloaded every dating app possible. It may have been fueled by a bitter, resentful part of me, but at the time it seemed like a great idea. After looking at a total of sixty guys and losing hope with each swipe, one caught my attention, and I messaged him to continue my string of bad decisions.

However, the bad decision is looking extremely attractive right now. Derek’s message asks if I’m available for a date tonight, and I’m surprised that I’m considering it. The chunk of self-confidence that escaped me after Elias’s refusal almost fuses itself back in place.

Because the only logical thing to do when an irritatingly attractive man rejects you is to find another one.