Rejecting, Your Broken Promises
Chapter 55

Sloan’s POV

Ever Green

I wake up first and get my daily dose of getting to stare at Dawson while he sleeps. I thank the Goddess again for giving me such a wonderful mate. I love and trust him, and I know that I will be well taken care of when we do go back to B***d Rose. He makes my heart flutter when he looks at me, so this precious time in the morning is the best time for me to get my fill of just looking at his handsome face without getting nervous about staring at him. I don’t know what I did to deserve him, but I am so thankful that the Goddess thought that I did. I am having to restrain myself from cupping his cheek or tracing his lips. He would wake up as soon as I did that, and these few minutes to think about my day, and look at my handsome mate are always valuable to me.

My brother will be coming over to visit us as soon as we get back. I haven’t seen him in almost 3 weeks, and I cannot wait to introduce him to our bonus family members when he gets there. He had no problem with witches, and I know he will be kind to Vincent, Beth, and Moira. Hopefully, there will be no problems with Golden Moon, after I get back. I know Brandi, and she wanted Dawson, very much so in fact. She is not just going to give up. Especially when I know that she considers me to be a disgusting hybrid. To her, I don’t deserve to be happy, and I certainly don’t deserve Dawson. But we are true mates, and the Goddess put us together for a reason, so Brandi’s opinion does not matter to me. She is no longer my problem and I have stopped thinking about the “What if’s” of her and mom trying to come after me or hurt me again. I am no longer defenseless against them, and I pray that they took Dawson’s words to them seriously. I know for a fact that both my parents and Brandi are on the no access list at B***d Rose because they called and advised Beta Davis at B***d Rose, of this information when we left Golden Moon.

I am sure that dad doesn’t care, he never lifted a finger to help me against mom, for the last 8 years. I don’t know why she hates hybrids so, or more specifically, me so much. I am her daughter, I didn’t pick or ask to be different. In fact, I would rather have been just a pure werewolf. It would have kept my own mother from hating me the moment I opened my eyes. I know why mom has issues with witches, but I didn’t have anything to do with the loss of her parents. I wasn’t even born yet, and Sera had killed all the parties involved in the attack in her pain from losing my grandfather, Magnus. I know the pain of losing a parent, let alone both of them at once, is a great deal of pain. Sera told me that my mother was just in pain from losing her parents when she would try to calm me at bedtime. I would cry because my parents never came to tuck me in or read me a story.

I know that Brandi really thinks that she is perfect, as she is just a pure werewolf. I don’t know how she can when she continues to sleep with so many warriors in our pack. It is like an initiation to our pack for the most handsome of them. She makes it her business to know when we have new members, and only picks the best warriors for herself. I don’t know how she can do that. She has a mate out there, and these men may have a potential mate in our pack. Why would you set yourself up, or them up, for trouble down the road? She just needs to go and visit other packs to try to find her own true mate. Surely mom has to have noticed that by now. Now that I am gone, she has to know that anything bad is now being done by her precious youngest child. I know I can’t be getting the blame for something that I am not even there for anymore. But if anyone can blame someone else for something that Brandi did, I am sure my mother will find a way to do it.

I shake myself as I am feeling bad thinking about my time at Golden Moon, and I need to stop. No good can come from it and my past cannot be changed. I decide to think of the most positive thing that I can think of, I can’t wait to tell Rob that I am engaged. Since we are going back to B***d Rose soon, I wanted to keep that little bit of information to myself. I wanted to tell him and show him the ring at the same time. I am so happy, I can’t stand it. I don’t think even when I was with my grandmother that I was this happy. Dawson makes me feel safe and secure, loved, and wanted. I have never felt like that before, I did feel loved and accepted by my grandmother Sera, but I never felt safe and secure. I knew that at any time either my mother or sister could ruin my day, and quickly. It was like they knew when I was unattended and would swoop in to hurt me, and leave again before Sera came back to me.

I have been taking my training for weapons, sparring, and especially with my learning and correct application of my spells. Vincent and Beth are both excellent teachers and even if they don’t say it, I know that they are proud of how quickly I am learning this craft. It is not an easy skill to learn. You have to have a great deal of focus and memorize a large number of spells. You could be off by just a little and it will not work at all. I have taken notes, and the most important skills that I work on, even when I am alone, are my defensive and protection spells. To be totally honest, I am really worried about B***d Rose being so close to Golden Moon. I know mom won’t have given up and for her, and dad, to have risked war with a pack three times their size to prevent me from leaving, they will be trying to get me again. Let me rephrase, SHE will try again. Mom will also have the support of Brandi, and I will not trust either of them in anything that they try to do.

I love Rob with my whole heart, but he is not the Alpha yet. Dad had told him that he can take it over next year when he turns 22, or he can wait for his mate. Dad likes being Alpha, but it is very draining having to deal with all the treaties, daily reports, watching the pack funds, and regular paperwork. Let alone rogues trespassing, issues within the pack, and with other packs. We all know dad is ready to stop and allow Rob to be the Alpha, but mom doesn’t want to give up being Luna quite yet. So, dad and Rob go to all the training that they can, and dad makes sure Rob is the one reading through and doing the paperwork from now on. They are just in a holding pattern until Rob finds his mate. I have been worried that mom would have punished Rob to get back at him for helping me get free from Golden Moon. But dad loves Rob, and I am hoping that if it comes down to it, dad will do the right thing.

I feel Dawson’s hand curl around mine and he brings it to his lips to k**s my palm. I didn’t even know he was awake. I was so caught up thinking about my old life and looked away from him to do that. I hadn’t noticed that he had woken up too. I don’t want to associate anything bad with Dawson. He was never involved in that, and I never wanted him to know the depth of it either. It is shameful enough that he knows that they never wanted me or loved me. It makes me feel like I am not worthy of love, and I struggle with it daily. I probably woke him up feeling my sadness overwhelm me. I didn’t mean to do that, and I feel so guilty for him worrying about me. I calm myself and soothe Dawson, and his eyes closed again to wait for his alarm to sound at 6 am.

I am so thankful for getting more family members of my own. I love Vincent, Beth, and Moira so much already. They accepted me completely and for me to actually have grandparents is wonderful. I know that they are great’s several times over, but they look like Gabi and Tanner’s age, so I am just sticking with grandparents and cousins, I just haven’t gotten to meet all of my family members yet. I am not completely a witch, just a hybrid, so I will live about the same amount of time as Dawson, and I am glad about that. I am also glad that I am a wolf and a witch, one who can protect her pack as the next Luna. Vincent and Beth are going to be putting a protection spell over B***d Rose when we arrive, and they will be including me in how to do it at that time. They will also be doing one here at Ever Green before we leave, to help protect them as well. I will just watch them do it here, and I am excited to participate in it when we get to my pack. His whole family has welcomed me with open arms, I consider Gabi and Tanner to be bonus parents, as I never really had actual loving parents. I am also happy that Heath and Von have accepted me as well. I never dreamed that I would be having such a big family. Spending years locked in my room, all I could do was dream, and hope for a different life than the one I had. I was blessed by the Goddess and was given one. I am especially glad to have my new best friends, Elena and Peyton. We have such a strong bond, and I would do anything for them. Goddess help anyone who tries to hurt them. I will be one of the ones who have their back in defending them, and I will not hesitate to make them sorry for their decision.

I turn over to watch the sunrise and my movement has Dawson instinctively pulling me back into his chest. I watch the sun starting to rise, with Dawson’s arm around me and my back pressed against his chest. This is my idea of perfection. I love him so much that I have no idea what I would do if something happened to him. I may do exactly like Sera did when she lost her mate. I was told she changed after that fateful day. I was born after it had occurred, so I have no idea if that is true or not. But it was what I heard. My brother told me once that dad had told him that if she hadn’t had me to take care of, she would have died quickly from a broken heart. She did anyway, but she held on for years to take care of me because she loved me and worried about how I would be taken care of after she passed. I already know that she loved me completely and that she was so happy that I had inherited her power, but I could see the sadness in her from how my mother treated me like I didn’t exist.

I can feel Dawson against me, and I know he is trying to wait for me to be ready, but I already am, I have been for over a week. I was hoping that the night we got engaged that he would complete our mating as I was ready then. But he just kissed me and then went to take his shower. I know he is giving me time, but I don’t need time. I need him. I just feel ashamed that he hasn’t wanted to complete our bond yet. The words of my sister keep coming back to me, over and over again, and I am letting them affect me. Maybe getting a therapy appointment wouldn’t be a bad thing. In the back of my head, I can hear the taunts of how I will never be good enough to be claimed. That me being a freak will keep even my mate from wanting me. I feel the tears on my lashes and try to brush them away, I have to manage my feeling so Dawson can’t tell I am upset. It is the freak part because I am a hybrid, that worries me the most. What if his pack hates me for being half-witch? What then? Is that what he is waiting for? Is that the reason that he won’t mark me? He needs to see if they can accept me as their Luna. I can barely hold back the sob.

I know that Dawson loves me, but I want him to love me and mate me. For me to go back to his pack with him fully as his mate, and no room for any issues to slip in and try to mess us up. I know Dawson didn’t do like Percy did. I know why too, Tanner and Gabi. So, he did date a little, but only kissing, and no further. I already know I will be dealing with jealous she-wolves when we get back, and I just want us to be fully mated when I arrive. I still remember the incident when I arrived here that Peyton had to endure. That was horribly embarrassing, especially for so many pack members to witness. I pray that the same doesn’t happen to me at B***d Rose, I have actually been very concerned about it. I hope that his waiting to see if they can fully accept me as his mate is not the real reason that he is waiting to mark me and allow me to mark him.

I gently pull away from Dawson and tell him to go back to sleep as his grip tightened on me. I need to cry and the only safe place for me to do that is in the shower. No one can see me in there, and I pray that I can get past my feelings of inadequacy. Don’t get me wrong. I know that Dawson loves me. He does, I can tell. But after years of being told how worthless I am, it stays with you. I would have actually rather have had him mark me than we be engaged. The marking and mating are what are valuable to us as werewolves. The getting married part is just an added, but unnecessary level.

I am now feeling like he just got engaged to try to keep me with him until he knows for sure that he wants to keep me. He may have just been so caught up in the moment of finding me that he bought the ring. The tears are flowing freely right now, and I cannot stop the sob that tears from me. I kept it low, but I can’t allow myself the option of being returned to Golden Moon. Even with Rob there, he can’t protect me, not from our own parents, and I won’t go back. I reached out in my mind and ask Beth if we can talk this morning. I will make an excuse to Dawson. I think that I need a backup plan for the “I love you, but” that I now feel is coming. I know I have value now, and I won’t step back into the person I was before. Beth was already up and said that she would be glad to meet me. I get dried off and dressed quickly, slipping out of our room to go meet her and talk in a private area. I don’t want or need anyone to overhear what I am about to say. Beth listened to me without speaking and would only nod occasionally at what I was saying. She let me say what I felt and when I was done, she finally spoke.

“I know that Dawson loves you baby. He really does, we can feel it. I think that you need to say something to him about what you are feeling honey. Your feelings are your feelings, and they are valid. I will tell you this for you to have some comfort and peace, Sloan. You are not alone anymore. You have a whole new family, that includes Vincent, me, and Moira. We will never let you be cast aside, you will always have a place with us, in our coven, if that is ever your decision. But, Sloan, you need to speak to Dawson and tell him how you are feeling. He is the only one who can fix it for you” Beth tells me, and I know that she is right, but I am not looking forward to the conversation. I never want to hurt Dawson. But I can do this in a way that won’t hurt him, while still getting my answers. I set my shoulders and we head back to the pack house. I will get my answers soon.