My Sister's Boyfriend
40

"Of course I want you to be happy. He said in a way that seemed tremendously obvious. "Then why don't you leave me alone?"

"Maybe for the same reason you run away from me." I rolled my eyes, not liking the direction of the conversation. We were silent for a second, until he broke it, his voice resolute. "I'm definitely going to break up with Cecilia. -No! You're fine together and I'm with Alexander.

"You don't love Alexander. And I don't love her...

"Stop saying that. It makes everything worse for me, you know? I bit my lip. "I'm trying to get over something here. Collaborate.

I can't

- Why end? You've come this far. We're paying friends, I'm dating. And it's lasting more than 48 hours. Which is quite a step forward. And you and Ceci... Why end it right now?

"Because I don't love her." Because we're lying to each other. Because she doesn't love me either. Because I'm not a kid anymore, I have a life now, I live alone, I have my job, my car and I can't behave like a spoiled child who isn't content with not having things so easy. I'm regressing, and it sucks! I'm not the center of the universe, and I can't force the world to rotate in the direction and speed I want because I've lost too many things. I understand that now. I swallowed, cursing my heart that completely lost its rhythm. "Not that I did it on purpose, I just... I've been selfish for far too long. I lost you for being selfish, I hurt you for being selfish, and I'm probably going to hurt Cecilia for the same reason. I don't want to feel like that anymore, I don't want to keep doing this to your sister, to you and I admit, to myself too. I've been acting like a lost boy, because a certain girl totally messed me up. But I forgot that it's not her fault... That if I want her back, I have to fight for it.

I tried to recover from his words. Feeling the air fail and the cheeks flush. I found it difficult to hold his gaze, it seemed to burn me. I tried to fit the words together, to find some meaning, but I couldn't. It's like my brain can't process it. I tried to replay the conversation in my mind, but my heart could beat louder than my thoughts. I put my hand on him, trying to silence him. I looked back at Igor, who was waiting for an answer from me. I stammered the words, still confused: "Alcohol really drives people insane.

"I'm not drunk. He snorted.

"It's acting like one. I sighed, still shocked by his words.

- Love is drink and hangover. It's just not a good pain reliever.

- And it's not a good fruit salt either. - I declared, getting into the ridiculous little game. He laughed softly, then bit his lip, staring at me.

"I lost you, but I still feel like you're mine.

"That's wrong. -Whispered. Pulling away slightly.

-I know that. But I can't help it. He whispered back, his eyes burning into mine. "And I don't even want to avoid it.

"I like Alexander... I can't leave him. I continued, whispering.

"I like Ceci too. But she deserves better.

"She needs someone to mature along with her. Maybe you're the one. You do her good, I see that. I looked at the ground, fleeing from those piercing eyes.

"No, not anymore. I can't try anymore either. I stared at him, unable to contain myself. He analyzed me too, without taking his eyes off mine. I held his gaze, stubbornly. A half-smile appeared on his face. I bit my lip in conflict.

"What are you two doing?" Cecilia appeared, her expression was suspicious. I realized that Igor was too close to me, so I walked away. Confused and still in shock from our conversation.