I Shouldn't Love Him
I Shouldn’t Love Him (Book 2) – Chapter 67

manning

The sunny and dusty days outside passed too quickly. Spending a week in the fresh air was exactly what I didn’t know I needed. For the first time in years, I wasn’t surrounded by hardened men and I wasn’t exhausting my body so my mind wouldn’t wander too far down the wrong path. I felt like I was part of the living. The children’s enthusiasm was exhausting and contagious. Tiffany had relaxed. Lake made me feel like a man again just to have someone to watch out for.

I didn’t want it to end, but like all good things, it had to. We were leaving in the morning.

Tonight, the counselors had thrown a party for the campers at dinner, then sent everyone under twenty-one to bed early. Including Tiffany.

“But I’m almost twenty-one,” she had argued with Gary.

“Aren’t you nineteen?” he replied.

“And even if you had twenty-three hundred and sixty-four days, it wouldn’t matter. You are a minor.

I walked her to her cabin while Kirk took care of ours. Her daughters had asked for a bedtime story, and Tiffany had come up with a surprisingly good one. She had told me why afterward – she had just recapped the first three seasons of 90210

After saying goodnight, I headed over to the campfire that Gary and the staff had made.

As I approached, Bucky was playing his guitar, plucking strings randomly. Lexi, a lifeguard, passed me a Bud. All the chairs were taken, so I sat in the dust by the fire

. “Welcome to the special adult party,” Gary told me. “We do it every year on the last night. Tiffany isn’t going to report us to her parents, is she?

“Sutter doesn’t call the shots in this relationship,” Bucky said. “When you have a hot a*s like her, you just do what she says.”

F**k this guy. He’s been pissing me off all week. When I was working, I mostly kept to myself because there were always men like Bucky whose mouths were bigger than their muscles. My muscles were just big, a byproduct of being one of the youngest in construction – the older ones always made me do the hardest shit. I couldn’t take the kind of bait Bucky was throwing in front of me. My father had a temper that could switch at any moment and I knew, deep down, that this switch existed within me.

“Don’t go, man.”

“Or what?” Bucky asked.

I opened my beer.

“You’re lucky there are kids around.”

Lexi threw a bottle cap at Bucky.

“Stop it. Seriously. You’re an a*****e.

Gary leered at me over the fire. I wasn’t that good at making friends, but he’d been good to me, giving me this job, s “Making sure I was ready all week. It was part of the reason I had been on my best behavior. I planned to stay in touch, maybe even come back next year. “

Someone know a good scary story?” Lexi asked.

“I have one,” Bucky said. “Once upon a time, we ran out of beer.”

“Bullshit,” someone said.

“There’s more in the kitchen,” Gary said.

“No, there isn’t.” Bucky strummed the guitar and sang, “It’s the last one of this one.” “

Damn. Who the f**k hid it?

Everyone looked away. I hadn’t had anything to drink in a week, but if Tiffany had found a special punch our first night here, no doubt others had their way of sniffing it out too.

“Someone has to go replenish the supply,” Gary said. “The night has just begun. I’ve had two already, and with my job, if I get a DUI, I’m screwed.

“None of us are sober,” Bucky pointed out, slowly turning his piercing eyes towards me.

“Except Sutter.”

I hadn’t even taken a sip. The truth was, I didn’t want to do much more than have a beer, two max, and go to bed. The days here were long, hot and grueling. But everyone was looking at me, which didn’t leave me much choice.

“I do not have a car.”

“Take my truck.” Vern, a wiry, gray-haired man who worked full-time as a janitor for the campground, turned to put his hand in his pocket.

“It’s about forty minutes to town and back.”

He threw me the keys. It was barely half past nine and it wasn’t worth talking about. Even though I wasn’t going to drink, I was the new guy and their only hope of getting supplies. I passed my untouched beer to the guy next to me and stood up.

“All right.”

“There’s a liquor store on the main boulevard,” Vern said. “If it’s closed, stop at any dive around there and slip them some money. They’ll sell you a bottle of something.

I nodded at them and headed towards the staff parking lot. Gary caught up with me after a few meters.

“I forgot to give you money”, he said, passing me a few twenty notes.

I thought about not accepting it, but I didn’t have a dollar to spend on other people’s alcohol, so I put it in my pocket.

“THANKS.”

“I wanted to thank you too,” Gary said. “You did well this week.”

“Yeah?”

We stopped at Vern’s truck, a rusty white Ford from the ’70s that looked like it weighed as much as a whale and probably moved just as fast.

“I was a little worried about having Tiffany here,” Gary said. “She looks like she’s breaking the rules. But as far as I know, you two kept it clean. It probably wasn’t easy, so I appreciate it.

He ran a hand through the mop of curls on his head.

“How long have you been dating?”

“Couple months, I guess.”

“Ah. Is this serious?”

I glanced at the campfire. No, it wasn’t, but it could get serious. If things continued like this, with Tiffany letting her guard down, Lake being out of bounds, it might be.

” No. Not yet.”

“Fine fine.” Gary rocked back on his heels. “You’re too young to settle down, but I know how these girls can get. Don’t let her push you in that direction if you’re not ready.

I didn’t know what to say about it. As much as I loved Gary, I wasn’t used to talking about my personal shit with anyone.

He patted me on the back.

“See you in a few minutes

. I got into the dented truck. who was right in front of me.

At the mouth of the unpaved road, a movement caught my attention. Lake walked down the path, not seeming even a little worried that I might hit her. I slammed on the brakes.

“Jesus Christ.”

Wearing denim shorts that looked too big and a t-shirt that was too small, she approached the passenger side and opened the door.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“I’m looking for you. I waited at the pool, hoping you would come since it’s our last night.

I checked over my shoulder to make sure no one was there.

“Come in.”

She climbed into the seat and pulled on the door. Using all his weight. The truck was hidden by trees, but we weren’t even out of the campsite yet. I reached down to grab the handle, and the door creaked and m****d, closing heavily.

His face was in mine. I smelled sweetness, watermelon or something, and chlorine.

“You didn’t get in the pool, did you not?”

“Just my feet.”

She took off her flip-flops. The thin, golden hair on her upper thigh glistened in the dome light. I didn’t know where to start. The little outfit? Sneaking around in the dark ? Unsupervised swimming?

“You can’t be here, Lake.”

“I know. But it’s our last night.

We were exposed. I started driving to turn off the light.

“It’s everyone’s last night.”

I walked slowly down the unpaved path, but we still jostled in our seats. She didn’t even bother to look out the windshield.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

Leaning over the steering wheel, I looked between her and the road. The seat was a long three-seater bench, made of Caribbean turquoise vinyl. She put one bare foot on it and faced me, as if I was about to say something important.

“Running.”

“So you’ll be right back?”

“Yeah.”

“So what’s the problem if I come?”

It was after dark, she was underage and I was responsible for her. That said, she would never be safer than when she was with me. I was sure of it. I adjusted the rearview mirror.

“Do you promise to go straight to your cabin when we get back?”

“Yes.

” Never mind. It’s dangerous.

The water is deceiving you. He looks calm and inviting, but he can kill you. Quick.”

She didn’t respond. If I had scared her, so much the better. Nothing bad ever came from respecting the elements. The last few meters of the road were rough enough to drop a pack of cigarettes from Vern’s visor. Lake picked them up.

“How come you never smoke in front of me?”

“They’re not mine.”

I turned onto a main road, and the ride became too fluid as it was going to be in this future junkyard. I relaxed into my seat.

“We talked about this. Smoke is bad for you.

“And not for you?

Lake shouldn’t be in the truck .I shouldn’t have noticed or even thought about those soft hairs on her leg. I should have sent her away. I didn’t even want alcohol, but somehow I found myself in a situation. I would have killed for a cigarette at that moment.

“Give me those.”

She handed the bag over and I stuffed it between the seats.

“I was thinking about what you you said the other night. I’m going to stop, it’s just going to take time.

“I can help,” she said.

“How?”

“I don’t know. There has to be a way.

“It’s not like the AA you get.

I took the on-ramp to the highway. It was dead, not many cars around, just a lot of black sidewalk flanked by shady trees. The shine of a moon waxed full again.

“I could check if you’re okay.”

His voice barely carried over the growl of the engine.

“Or you can call me whenever you feel like it.”

“What is going on?”

“What’s going to happen? After camp?

“I don’t know. I guess I finish work near you. Then I find more work until I graduate.

“What about Tiffany?” »

The way I saw it, I had two options. Stop seeing Tiffany and end my time with the Kaplans, or keep both girls in my life.

“I don’t know, Lake, but like I told you before, this is between me and your sister.”

“Where do you live ?”

“LAKE.”

“You told me you would bring me books on the subject I am going to major in.”

“I will.”

“But when? I start school in a week. Next thing you know, it will be time to fill out the applications. I’m going to have homework and my dad is making me take a course at university. I won’t have time for anything else.

I slipped my hand on the steering wheel.

“Are you panicking a little? »

“No, but maybe I don’t want to do all this anymore. I don’t understand why everyone decides for me.

She didn’t know if we would see each other again after that. I didn’t know either. Maybe I wouldn’t if I didn’t continue with Tiff. The truth was that I had little control over the situation, and Lake had even less.

“I’ll get you your books,” I promised him.

“Forget the books. I don’t care about them.

“You should,” I said, harsher than I thought.

“If you don’t know your options, how are you going to know what to major in?”

The truth was his father wasn’t a great man, but he scared me. He had power over Lake. I had wondered more than once if she had even considered a school outside of USC. It was too big a decision to let her father make for her. “How are you going to stand up to your father if he tries to force you to do something you don’t want to do?”

“What if I don’t want to go to school at all?” »

I gripped the steering wheel in frustration, even though I knew she didn’t mean it. Neither of us had any control over this situation and she was looking for something to hold on to. “That’s not what I meant. You know that’s not the case.

“Everything was just planned for me before I was even born.”

“So ask yourself what you really want, but don’t say not that it’s not college. He is. The question is where you want to go and what you want to do when you get there.

“What do you mean ‘where’?” she asked softly.

“It doesn’t have to be USC, Lake. It doesn’t have to be what anyone else says.”

She bit her thumbnail and sat quietly for a moment, obviously thinking. I was hoping that she was starting to see that she had options. She wasn’t going to figure it out tonight, but it was a start.

We entered the town suddenly, a building or two at first, then we were on the main boulevard in passing fast food joints, log inns, and souvenir shops. “I live in Long Beach,” I said, hoping that might calm her down a little. “I have a roommate and a kitchen that barely fits two people.”

“I didn’t know that,” she said. “It’s far.” “

From where? You? About forty minutes by car.

“Oh.” The vinyl squeaked as she adjusted her foot. “Are you happy there?”

I couldn’t remember feeling much more than complacency since Maddy died. Lake was the only thing recently that hadn’t been some sort of work or obligation. “I guess. I’m not really one thing or another.

The first liquor store I passed was dark, so I stopped at a bar called Phil’s a few red lights down. It took me a minute to decide where to park. There were people out front and I didn’t want anyone to see Lake in the car. I chose a space to the side, farthest from the building. “Why are we

here ?” asked Lake.

“Pick up some alcohol. A flyer in the window advertised line dancing. Three women were standing by the door, smoking, and my mouth was watering for a cigarette. “I’ll only be a minute. You can’t come in, so lock the doors and wait, okay? Don’t go out under any circumstances.”

“What do you think will happen in a minute?” I guess she didn’t know yet that one minute could change your life. That if I had left baseball practice a minute earlier, things might have been different for Maddy. Lake was intuitive but overconfident. She hadn’t hesitated to let me into her parents’ house that day, even though I was three times her size and carrying tools that could kill an adult with a single blow. She should have someone looking out for her. I wanted to be that someone.

I got out of the car, slammed the door, and waited for the sound of the locks. The girls were average looking. Sweat-stained jeans, cowboy boots, tank tops, hair stuck to your forehead. “Hello,” said one of them. “Looking for a dance partner?”

I went to Phil’s and pulled out the twenties. “Can I buy you some beer?” » I asked the bartender.

“How about Jack instead?”

“That’s fine. All you get for forty dollars.

” He nodded and walked toward the back.

“Do you have a cigarette I can smoke?” One of the girls from outside sat down. on a bar stool next to me. I had a pack in my shirt pocket, but cigarettes cost money and money was limited. I only spent it on what interested me . “No.”

She took a sip of her beer. Her ring caught my eye, a big, bulky thing with a silver ring that looked oddly familiar. The bulbous, dark stone covered everything below her knuckle. . I looked closer. Maybe it was glass and hunter green, not black stone.

“What is that?” I asked.

She asked me showed his hand. “A mood ring.”“Damn. Yes, I remember now. Mady had one. My mother bought it in the 70s and passed it down to her. Sometimes when I was moody, Madison would force it on my finger and ask me to make it change color from dark to light. To make him happy. “What does green mean?”

“I forget. I feel bored, so maybe that.” She looked up. “Where are you from?”

Words were like money, not worth wasting when they wouldn’t get me anywhere. “Not here.”

If I was at home, if Lake wasn’t in the truck, maybe things would be different. The girls were a nice distraction. Everything except Lake. It was crystal clear to me, like everything around it. The landscape was more beautiful. I felt the b***d rush through my veins. Things that had become boring a while ago became more pronounced, even Maddy’s memories. Over time, I had forgotten things about Maddy without realizing it, and around Lake, it kept coming back. The way she read like Maddy, or now, that ring I probably would have overlooked. All memories of Maddy usually came with a kind of blinding pain that I had learned to accept, but seeing that ring again didn’t make me want to fall off a cliff. It was not bad.

But did that mean I forgot about Madison? I couldn’t even imagine it so clearly anymore. Not as good as I could have Lake.

“Or?” asked the woman. “I’ve never seen you here before.”

“Can I buy this for you?” I asked. “The ring?”

She frowned as she inspected it. “It’s worthless.” I didn’t care. It wasn’t like I was going to go to my mom’s house and look for Maddy’s, even though she might still be there. “How about I give you change for the alcohol?”

She smiled. “Phil’s not going to give you change.” She took off the ring and slid it onto the bar. “Take it. I’ll go get another one.

The bartender came back and fisted two paper bags. He put them around my neck and I gave him the money. I put the ring in my pocket and I I thanked the cowgirl. Maybe I owed her a little more time than I gave her, but I didn’t have any to waste. I didn’t want to stray from the truck another

minute . Lake.