I Shouldn't Love Him
I Shouldn’t Love Him (Book 2) – Chapter 58

Manning

This blueberry pie. I took my time eating it out of politeness, but I could have inhaled it in less than two minutes. On the one hand, it was delicious, but also, sitting at Kaplan’s table after the fight I had just seen was really awkward. It wasn’t like I expected Tiffany’s dad to welcome me into his life after a dinner date. I didn’t think he would be such an a*****e either.

Lake didn’t see it. Not yet. She had been embarrassed, ashamed and tried to take the fall for Tiffany. My sister had been like that, thinking she could help an argument by butting in when she should have stayed away. You don’t put your hands in a dogfight – I’d told him before, but it had done a lot of good. I could tell by the way Lake looked at her father that she still loved and respected him. I didn’t understand that. Family shouldn’t mean an automatic free pass to treat others like shit. At some point, we had to recognize people for who they were.

Charles remained in his office. As the clock behind my head ticked, Tiffany seemed to become more agitated. It was like she wanted something, expected something. I wanted something too: a cigarette. I had eaten a little too much, grateful for real, tasty food. Between school and work, I didn’t care about learning to cook. I just did what I could. Unlike Lake, Tiffany knew her father was an a*****e.

But I had met a lot of girls who had voluntarily become attached to idiots. Maybe it was worse for Tiffany because he was her father. I didn’t have a good history with dads. Damn, I hated mine. I thought I saw some of that in Tiffany’s eyes tonight, but she also looked at him most of the meal, more than anyone else.

Lake only ate half his share. She hadn’t finished her dinner either, even though I had cleaned up a salad, two steaks and dessert. Was she upset or was she just not hungry? In fact, I was worried that she was a little too skinny. Then again, maybe it was a girl thing. Maddy would rather have read or explored than come to the table.. I had forgotten about her jewelry phase until it hit me that day on the wall, when I was fixing Lake’s bracelet.

Maddy would stay in her room for hours beading things like necklaces and anklets. I didn’t even know where they were. At my mother’s, perhaps.

“Thanks again for dinner,

“The crust was a little soggy, but it was a good first effort.”

Tiffany shrugged.

“I didn’t think it was soggy at all.”

Cathy covered Tiffany’s hand on the table.

“I tried to tell Tiffany that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. That’s why we teach him to cook.

I was more uncomfortable now than I had been been with their father at the table. At least I would have known where I stood. Now all eyes were on me. Why had I come here? Partly to see how Lake and Tiffany fit into this family . I figured the dynamic would help me understand them. Neither Lake nor his sister lacked anything. I knew the land value of their house, the prestige of their neighborhood. They had a bar and wine expensive and special foods. I suspected these things were important to Tiffany, but what about Lake?

I didn’t usually ask myself these questions about anyone. I continued my life and did what was necessary to put food in my own stomach and a roof over my head. I didn’t need much, not even to be happy or loved. Everyone I knew was killing themselves in one way or another. Drugs, alcohol, work, shitty relationships, boredom. They pretended things mattered that didn’t. They stopped asking questions because they didn’t like the answers.

I had seen too much and had lost the goodness in my life young enough to understand that nothing was fair. There were no guarantees. Lake didn’t know it yet and I wanted her to keep this innocence as long as possible. Maddy? I could have protected her better. I did my best as an older brother, but if I had known what awaited him, I would have done more. I would have done whatever it took. And I wanted to do the same for Lake, except guys in their 20s didn’t just hang out with teenage girls they weren’t related to. And that left me with only two options, one of which was to leave. The other sat across from me, smiling as if she had trapped me in a corner.

“Let’s go get the dishes,” Cathy said to Lake.

“Let’s give these two some privacy.”

I didn’t know what had gone through Lake’s mind. His eyes became huge and sad. At that point, despite the makeup that I was sure she had stolen from Tiffany, Lake was a child at the adult table. She reminded me of Maddy. Not physically, they were complete opposites, light and dark, but she looked at me with the same confidence as Maddy. Like I could tell her anything and she would believe it.

“Are you guys going out?” Lake asked.

“It’s none of your business,” Tiffany said. “Mom told you to clear the table.”

I got up.

“I will help.”

Cathy put her hand on my shoulder.

“Absolutely not. Sit down – please.”

“I should really leave,” I said. “Maybe you can take me out, Tiff.”

“Of course.”

She stood up, exchanging a look with her mother.

I took this moment to check on Lake. She wanted to go out, I could tell, but Tiffany wouldn’t invite her and neither would I. At best, she stayed away after the fight I had just witnessed. I nodded goodnight, hoping she would understand in her own way. Damn if the pain in her expression hasn’t eased. Tiffany looped her arm through mine and ushered me out the front.

“It was horrible ?” she asked. “You were so good at putting up with my dad.”

” Everything was fine. Don’t worry.”

“My mother loves you very much. I can say. Plus, I’m sure she loved that you had a second helping and complimented it in the kitchen. .”

I stopped listening. The food and a ten hour work day and two glasses of wine hit me right away. I just wanted to lie down. There was a small grassy hill up to the sidewalk, and when we reached the bottom, I cut it off.

. “Thank you for inviting me.”

“I’m glad you came.”

She leaned against the driver’s side door.

“You want to do something?”

“I’ve been working all day, Tiffany. I’m exhausted.”

“We don’t have to go out. We can stay.

“Where?” I nodded behind me. “Here? At your parents ?

She took her foot out of her shoe and ran her toes along the inside of my ankle. “No, idiot. We can drive a little. Or go home.

Ah, damn I inhaled deeply to give myself a few seconds to think. I was tired, but the prospect of s*x always gave me a second wind. It had been a few months, which didn’t bother me until it did. Like now. She tugged on my shirt a little, pulling me closer. His breath smelled of blueberries, like the ones Lake had used to make a pie.

For someone special. In my opinion.

“Your heart is racing,” Tiffany whispered,

her lips suddenly near my chin. I felt like I was doing something wrong, and not in a good way. I didn’t want to think about Lake when I was so close to his sister. I took a step back.

“What’s wrong?” Tiffany asked.

“Nothing.”

She remained silent for a moment.

“I want this, Manning.”

“It’s not that.”

“I’m not a virgin. If you’re worried, I’m not going to get attached…” “

That’s not it,” I repeated.

“I’m on birth control.”

My heart rate hadn’t calmed and that comment didn’t help. It just reminded me of the terrifying conversation inside about the girl who got pregnant.

“Who is Regina Lee?”

“A girl from my high school who had s*x with a teacher. All the parents got upset, but he was only twenty-four or something.

“How old was she?”

“Seventeen. Regina says she’ll wait until he comes out.

The way Charles threatened to throw away his power scared me. Who knew if it was true what he said about carrying d “Other accusations against the teacher? But a man like him definitely had connections, and it was clear he didn’t want me near Lake. He’d been angry enough that I hadn’t mentioned my work next door, but it was Lake there, me near her, that really set him off. I hoped we’d be done with this house soon and get out of his proximity. Everything that was happening in the neighborhood was going bad, and he’d probably find one of us to blame.

Tiffany cocked a h*p.

“So, that’s the problem?” she asked. “Are you afraid I’m going to get pregnant like Regina Lee? “

“No.”

“So? I’m not pretty enough? Too fat?” No one in the Kaplan family could be considered fat.

“Definitely not.”

“You already told me you don’t have a girlfriend.” Did you lie?

She asked casually, as if there was nothing to lie about it. I pushed myself to say yes. It would be easier to be a cheater than to admit that I felt protective enough of Lake that I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Tiffany yet. Then I could wash my hands of it and leave. Tiffany would go inside and tell her father. He would be delighted.

And Lake would think I lied to him.

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” I said.

Tiffany pushed out of the truck.

“So you must be, like, gay. Or mentally unstable. I’m here to offer you s*x. If you’re not going to just tell me why you don’t want it, then goodbye. Don’t call me again.

She turned around and walked into the grass. I couldn’t breathe

– it was an unpleasant, unfamiliar feeling. I didn’t let shit like that get to me. As for girls, I usually didn’t thought they were worth it. But as Tiffany moved away, so did Lake. I wouldn’t be invited back. What would that look like, a grown man trying to hang out with her? If I saw him, I would I would stop.

Without Tiffany, there was no lake. No monster sandwiches, no blueberry pie. But what have I done to deserve this sweetness in my life? Nothing. And who’s to say I wouldn’t ruin it? I could. So probably I should leave. But it wasn’t just Lake I was watching tonight. Tiffany was right when she said she was a disappointment to her father. He put her in a box, then got angry that she was there. Not that Tiffany didn’t provoke him. She did it. But she was just looking for someone to pay attention to her.

“Waits.”

Tiffany turned around.

“What?”

“It’s none of that,” I said.

“I’m just old-fashioned.”

“What do you mean?”

I climbed the grassy slope until I was in front of her. I took his shoulders as if to support us both. Maybe I didn’t deserve sweetness, but Tiffany did. She was a decent match for me. She would need someone by her side. And she came with Lake. I leaned over and kissed Tiffany on the lips.

“That means I like to take things slowly,” I said. “I’m old-fashioned.”

Tiffany blinked.

“Well, that’s a first.”

Yes it was. “I have to go. But I’ll call you.

She nodded toward the floor. For a minute, I wondered if she even wanted me to.

“Okay,” she said.

“Good evening.

She turned around and went back inside. I would have expected a girl to pass out after that. Maybe Tiffany wasn’t quick because she was desperate to be loved. Maybe -maybe she was fast because she liked it. She might actually leave me in the dust if I didn’t move. I might lose my chance with her. I was

n’t entirely sure I wanted to fight to keep Tiffany.

But I knew it was the only way to continue to be a part of Lake’s life.