I Shouldn't Love Him
I Shouldn’t Love Him – Chapter 39

Xavier’s POV

Two days have passed since my arrival in France, and yet I have the impression that it’s been a lot longer. During these days, I rather take the time to get to know each member of her family, and in the end it is the grandmother that I appreciate the most, perhaps because she speaks the least.

It’s after 2 p.m., we all have lunch together, and during the meal I answer as best I can the many questions from my future in-laws. Soon their discussion turns around the wedding, the date, the preparations and Élisa becomes agitated like a flea talking about the dress she would like to wear.

I am the first to finish my dish, and vaguely listen to their conversation, which is not

the least bit interesting. My fiancée suddenly circles my arm

and leans forward.

— I’m going to visit my cousin who just had a child, will you accompany me? “, she asks in a small voice, a smile on her face.

– No worries, just that we don’t delay, please.

She nods, placing a k**s on my cheek and continues the last mouthfuls of her plate.

— Xavier, it’s that way.

— Room 35 is on this side, I indicated with my index finger the other corridor.

She shakes her head negatively, arms on her h**s.

— 25 darling, you can’t hear well !, she sighs, going in the opposite direction.

I follow her without enthusiasm, shrugging my shoulders, walking wearily with my hands in my pockets in this not very welcoming hospital.

She starts talking, I try as best I can to listen to her as always but without success, if her luscious mouth could learn to be silent sometimes, or rather I must teach her in my own way.

She stops in front of room 25 and gives two little knocks on the door. I runs a hand over my hair, takes a deep breath to prepare myself for what is to come.

She opens the door, I circle her waist, leads us into the bedroom where her cousin, a pretty red-haired woman, is lying down. her baby in her arms and her husband I suppose sitting next to her.

Elisa rushes to find the young woman, I try as best I can to appear jovial and greet them warmly. I congratulate the young man and we get to know each other better. Élisa suddenly approaches me, the baby in her arms, and asks me to hold him for a moment. By reflex I take a step back…I’m not afraid of babies but seeing them so fragile I’m more afraid of damaging them with my lack of gentleness.

— Don’t be afraid, I’ll show you how to catch him… put your arm here, paying attention to his head there and the other below.. . .

I grab him tightly against me, I must look ridiculous but I can’t help but smile at the sight of this being so innocent with his adorable little facial expressions…this is one of the reasons why I want to marry Elisa, I am approaching forty and my desire to have a child is felt and pushed me to ask for her hand. I know she will be a perfect mother, her love for children and her gentleness impress me a lot.

The baby now finds himself in his mother’s arms to my great

misfortune or happiness because I had a horrible urge to scratch my

ear. I’ve been listening to them talking for a while, I’m getting bored and Élisa understands it very quickly.

I whisper in her ear that I’m waiting for her downstairs while she finishes with them and especially the baby.

I leave the room without further delay after greeting them, I walk down the long corridor, breathing deeply. Two years ago, she too must have experienced this happiness that every woman dreams of.

Female voices not far from me attract my attention, I look in their direction and see two young women in profile in white coats talking. I look away but immediately return it to one of them…blonde. crystal clear voice, deadly smile, my God it’s impossible…

I’m paralyzed on the spot, not being able to believe what I see, among all the hospitals that could exist in this city it was not necessary that I only come across the one where she is! With a trembling hand I pass a hand over my tense face and force my legs to go in the opposite direction of this goddess…hurry up!

I hasten to leave this place, clumsily going down the steps, relieved that she hasn’t noticed me, but on the other hand totally disturbed. In a few seconds, she was able to make me lose all my means…my poor thing, she will never leave your mind, that’s for sure.

— Sir, are you well? You suddenly look pale.

— Don’t worry, I’m fine, I just have trouble with hospitals, I replied to Elisa’s driver.

I lean against his side against the car

.

— Do you have another one? ” I pointed to his cigarette between my fingers.

He nods quickly and hands me the packet and a lighter. I nervously light my cigarette and let the nicotine invade my lungs.

— This reminds me of my wife’s first childbirth, between these cries suffering and the vision of all these doctors around me, I didn’t even know where to turn.

— I see that.. And how many children do you have?

— I have three and the fourth is on the way accompanied by his double, he breathes with a smile on his lips.

I widen my eyes not expecting his answer, and yet he must not be over forty..

— A beautiful family that you must have.

— My children and my wife are the most important things that can

happen to me, and I always look forward to the weekends to see them…

— And isn’t that a little hard for you?

— I admit that I do not have enough means to make them live as they all deserve, but the love that reigns in our hearts is more than enough for us and makes us happy. soon you will know all these beautiful

things sir. build your family with the woman you love and…

— Yes yes you are right, I hope to experience this happiness, I cut him off voluntarily by patting his shoulder in a friendly manner.

It’s too much for me…the woman I love…and living my life with her…and this woman is far from being Elisa…I made the mistake once with Marie and apparently this is not enough since the same scene occurs again with

Élisa. I may be selfish for not thinking about my fiancée’s happiness, but what can I do? My conscience tells me that it is not too late and that I can win Liya back, but will I be able to look at her after what I put her

through? I never believe! The proof I fled like a coward a few minutes ago.

— My love, sorry for the delay.

Elisa comes towards us with a desolate smile on her lips, then encircles my neck with

her hands and places a chaste k**s on my lips.

– Here we go ? They must all be waiting for us at home, she continues.

I nod and force a smile and we all get in the car.

We are in front of my fiancée’s villa, we are about to go

inside but I stop immediately.

“Elisa, I have something to do, I’ll be home soon,” I said, kissing her forehead.

– What is going on.

“Nothing serious, I promise, and will you allow me to use the car?”

She agrees with furrowed eyebrows, I don’t give her time to ask other questions, I turn my back on her and impatiently cross the large garden.

—A problem sir? , asks the driver politely.

— Yes, I need the car, a quick ride and I’ll come back

— Shall I drive you?

— No, it will be fine, thank you.

I get into the vehicle and speed off under the curious eyes of the

driver.

I follow the same route as before, fortunately there is less traffic jam, and I arrive at my destination more quickly. I park in a dark corner and my brain churns out a lot of insults aimed at me.

What are you doing new in this Xavier hospital? To see her again ? She doesn’t

even know you’re back so stay away!

I’ll move away…that’s for sure, but not before making sure she’s with another man. I swear that if she has already started her life again I won’t try anything…you swore, Xavier, don’t forget!

I blow loudly not knowing if she’s still inside or if she’s already gone..it’s simple move your a*s and ask if she’s inside.

And no, bad idea, I definitely don’t want her to see me, she’ll

kill me before I even know who this bastard is who stole her heart…

Night begins to fall and I don’t have Still not moving from my place, Élisa

must be wondering where I am. And then I tell myself that it’s better for me to

go, she must surely have already left.

I quickly stand up from my seat when I see a group of young people

coming out to chat with smiles on their faces. I guess they exchange goodbyes

and soon they all disperse to go home…and I make out a solitary figure, a blond head…extremely tight jeans, a tank top revealing a magnificent chest, a wasp waist , shiny

cascading hair …

I blink several times to be sure of what I see, it’s definitely her, completely transformed. Seeing her more feminine and desirable than ever makes my heart rate accelerate abnormally. She is beautiful, devilishly attractive, and seeing her like this in front of everyone’s eyes unbears me.

What did you do with your baggy t-shirts? Your unfeminine outfit was much better than this one and she’s not mine so she does what she wants unfortunately.

She is only a few meters from me and not being able to approach her is real torture. I would love to smell her natural scent, brush against her soft skin and trace with my fingers every curve of her body…I would love to grab her long hair to access her beautiful throat and be able to whisper in her ear all that I feel for her, how crazy she drives me and how many things are impossible..

I pull myself together when I see her walking and she begins to disappear from my field of vision. I immediately turn on the engine and follow her closely. Her long, endless legs take supple and confident steps, her incredibly plump buttocks waddle in a sexy way. She stops

to take a taxi. I feed off the slightest movement of her body and

soon she climbs inside the car and I follow her.

The taxi has been driving for about fifteen minutes, the area where we are is quiet, the streets well lit, the vehicle slows down, and I stop at a good distance from her so that she doesn’t approach me. don’t see it. She finally goes down and with long strides she rushes towards a house where she disappears very soon. his new home? To find out, I just have to spy.

I get out of the car and lock it. I walk the few meters that separated me from the villa. I hesitate for a moment then cross the small garden discreetly. I walk towards the small lit window, and try to see what’s going on inside.

I face a living room with no one in sight and wait impatiently for a stranger’s face to appear. Finally it is she who enters my field of vision, but I am not disappointed with the spectacle she offers me, her red pajamas torture even more what is hidden under my pants. I try to silence my painful desire and focus on her when she starts talking to someone in another room, she is not alone.

She then disappears, I don’t have time to be disappointed when she appears again with a smile on her face and this time… with a baby in hand.

I take a step back, eyes wide in shock..what the..? Is this her baby?

Impossible that it was Gabriel’s child since she had lost him so I concluded that she started her life again sooner than I would have thought…and this last thought causes a sharp pain in my heart. chest .

She takes a seat on the sofa, and starts kissing the baby all over, making him smile and me too in passing. But my smile fades when a man joins them…my jaw clenches strongly, my fists clench until they break my knuckles, and my eyes will soon come out of their anger and disappointment. is tall .

I don’t understand, and then I can’t understand, I don’t know what’s

really going on in her life…it’s impossible, I don’t want to believe what I see…she can’t be in a relationship ..no not with Yanis!

I force myself to think that he has just come to visit her, but I tense up when he comes closer to her, very close, that he is also having fun with this baby and that he then tenderly places a k**s on the forehead of the woman who makes my heart beat…

My legs move back of their own accord, small hesitant steps then I run away in long strides. She can start her life again, she f*****g has the right to after what she’s been through but why? Why did she only have to be with this guy? He was supposed to be with his mother if I remember correctly so what the hell is he doing with her? In the end she attracts all the men who belong to her mother… you are not the best person to say that.

I take refuge in the car away from them, still in a state of shock and anger.

My phone rings a number of times but I don’t bother to answer.

My gaze remains riveted on this little villa, this is the moment when I have to leave here and give up on it but I can’t do it, not being able to believe what I have just seen…I am sure it’s impossible, she can’t be with him, I have difficulty understanding it, I have to…I don’t want to believe it.

I don’t know how long I stood there frozen without being able to leave the place, but my eyes filled with hatred at the sight of Yanis’ silhouette on the balcony quietly smoking a cigarette.

Liya joins him a short time later, they exchange words that I would love to hear, he moves closer to her, stroking her hair and I give the steering wheel a violent knock when he k****s her.

That’s it, no more doubt about them.