His Unwanted Wife Again
Chapter Four

UNEDITED

Sabrina made it right on time to her classroom. Hawkins's school for special needs was the only thing that kept her sanity intact these days. She discovers that being a mother wasn't the only way she fulfills her life with children. She loved to teach them, and watch them learn. She loved it when their eyes lit up when they achieved something. She believed that finding this school was god shining some light on her. She felt like she could accept that she will never have a child. Teaching these children every day was fulfilling. It was something she enjoyed and planned on furthering her education.

She wanted to be capable of helping them even more. She had to thank her mother for forcing her out of the house. The nights however were cold. There wasn't a second she didn't miss Nathan's big, warm, comforting presence near her. During her lunch hour, she decided she was going to eat the turkey and cheese she brought and heads to the teacher's lounge. Two male teachers were in there watching tv and eating their lunch. She walks over to the sink and pours her self a cup of coffee. She added three sugars, creamer and takes a sip of the still-steaming cup. Just as she felt the warmth flowing down her chest, a chill hit her spine.

She could hear Nathan's voice on the television. Why God? It was the hardest thing watching him knowing he was no longer hers.

PAST.

Knock! Knock! Knock! "Sabrina sweetheart, let me in."

Sabrina sat on the bathroom floor, she had just gotten her monthly cycle and was disappointed as ever. It was another month of unsuccessfully trying to conceive. They were going on treatments of IVF, taking fertility drugs, and with no luck. After months of trying, she wasn't even late one month.

"It's okay, I'm okay."

"Let me in." Nathan orders.

Suddenly she became angry. She grabs a fist full of her cream sundress and gets off of the floor.

"I said I'm okay!" She yells pushing past Nathan and running in the closet for sanctuary. She just needed to deal with another month of disappointment alone. She didn't want to fight with him or let him see her this way. She drops to the floor, leans on a shelf, and puts her head on her thighs. Her fingers tapping uncontrollably.

"Please, go away." She begs when she feels his hand on her shoulder.

Every month it got harder and harder to go through. He was always there for her, always trying to cheer her up, always comforting and loving, but now, she was starting to feel like he was pitying her. Poor Sabrina can't get pregnant. He probably regrets making their marriage real.

He lets out a breath seeming to release stress. "It's not the end of the world."

Her fingers stop tapping. She couldn't believe he just said that. He just couldn't comprehend how she was feeling. He didn't start wanting children up until recently. She wanted children most of her life. To what something so bad, but for it to be completely out of your control was almost unbearable.

"You just don't understand." She says muffled in her legs.

"Of course I don't!" He yells suddenly. It causes her to jump up and meet his eyes. He was stooping down in front of her with a glare and a clenched jaw. He had on a golden brown suit that he wore to work that day.

"I'm not in any rush to have a child." He stands up. "When the time is right Sabrina, it will happen."

"That's easy for you to say."

"I want a child but, I'm also happy with what I already have."

"Just go, please." She could tell that after months and months of the same thing, he was getting tired of it. "I'm not asking you to console me." She adds.

"Can't you be happy with just me?" He was now pacing the closet. "Am I just a sperm donor to you?"

She glares at him not wanting to answer his question. She knew the whole house must have been hearing him yell at her.

"There is more to life than just having a child Sabrina..."

"Don't you think I know that? This isn't easy for me." Her hands fly up.

"That's it! You're cut off!" He stops.

She furrows her eyebrows. "Cut off from what?"

"No sex. At least not this month. You need a break from this."

"You can't do that..."

"Yes, I can... You build up this hope in your mind that every month is the month. Well, there will be no disappointment this month, because there will be no chance." "All that does is waste a month." She argues. "What if this month is our month?"

"That's the reason why right there!" He points at her still folded body on the floor. "You're already setting yourself up for this shit..."

"You know what!" She stands up and grabs one of her t-shirts from shelves and throws it at him. "Fine!" She pushes past him and leaves their room.

She didn't know where to go, or what to do so she stormed out of the backdoor for some fresh air.

She was out there for a long time by herself until she hears the backdoor open, and heavy footsteps approaching her. "I don't want to talk to you!" She yells.

"Sorry?"

She turns around to see Judd. He and his mother, Vivian's sister, Melissa, had been coming over often since. It seems that, by Nathan giving Judd a job six months ago, he fixed Vivian's broken relationship with her sister. Vivian was ecstatic. Nathan and Sabrina realized that that is what she wanted all along.

"Oh, it's you. Sorry."

She turns back around looking at the sun slowly setting. "How long have you been here?" She asks.

"If you're wondering if we heard your fight, we did."

At the moment she didn't care. She didn't respond to him she continued to look at the sunset.

"You know." Judd walks closer to her and leans on the railings of the porch she was sitting near. My sister had some trouble getting pregnant too."

"What does that have to do with me?" She continues to give him no eye contact.

"Well, she stressed so much about getting pregnant that the stress itself was killing her chances."

She hadn't thought about stress being one of the reasons why nothing they were trying was working. She worried so much getting pregnant her body was under stress.

"What happened? Did she get pregnant?" She hears herself asking. She then noticed that he had moved to sit on the other side of the swing.

"She went on vacation to get away from it all, and when she came back, she was pregnant."

He suddenly pulls out a napkin. "You're lipstick is smudged."

"Oh, thanks." She takes the napkin and wipes her mouth. In all their arguing it must have smudged.

She looks up to the almost completely dark skin and the shining half-moon. "Thanks for the talk. I'm going to go up now."

"Before you go." He touches her hand to stop her from moving. "I need some advice."

She pulls her hand away but nods for him to proceed.

"Am I interrupting something?" Nathan's voice comes from behind.

"No, nothing at all, just talking." Judd answers.

"Let's go." He orders Sabrina inside.

She doesn't hesitate to move to his side.

"Why don't you go home, Judd." He suggested.

Judd knew it wasn't really a suggestion. "I'm leaving." He nods his head at Sabrina. "Goodnight."

"Go upstairs I'll be up in one minute." He orders her sternly.

Without a word, she goes up to their room. She turns on the tv and sits on the front of the bed

Nathan comes into the room minutes later and stands in front of the tv.

"What the hell do you think you're doing with him outside and alone?"

"I wasn't doing anything."

"Why is your lipstick gone?" He

was seething

She touches her lips. "I don't know when it happened."

"When you left this room it was dark red, now it's light pink."

"Are you accusing me of something?" She looks at him like she couldn't believe it.

"And if I am?"

"Wow." She stands up and begins to move away. She couldn't believe it would even cross his mind. He blocks her path stopping her in be tracks. Where do you think you're going?"

"Away from you." She tries to get passed him but he holds on to her forearm pulling her back in front of him.

"Look...I don't want to fight with you, so just explain to me how your lipstick came off."

She rolls her eyes... "I can't believe you would even ask."

"Would you have been happy if I just flat out accused you?"

"I can talk to someone without it going any further."

"Then answer the god damn question!" He loses his temper. "How did your lipstick come off?"

She glares at him stubbornly. She wished she could let him think what he wanted and just be stubborn, but she knew that would do more damage. She had to try to think rationally under all the angry rising in her throat. "I wiped it off."

"Why?"

"It was already smudged from arguing with you!" She couldn't help but yell. The fact that he was even questioning her was getting her upset. He was making her feel like he didn't trust her. How could it even cross his mind that she could do that? What kind of woman did he think she was? Didn't he know her by now?

He abruptly let go of her arms. "Was that so hard?"

It was extremely hard for stubborn Sabrina, but she didn't say anything else.

He puts his hands on her cheeks. "Look I'm sorry that I'm a little tough on you. It's just very hard to see you so unhappy and be incapable of doing anything about it." He was going back to their original argument. She thanked God at least he believed her.

"It's okay." She breaths, slowly calming down."

He continues to stare at her. "I meant what I said about no sex this month. I want you to take a break from this."

"Nathan please don't do that."

"It's what you need, not something I'm looking forward to."

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