Divorced, But Not Broken
Divorced, but Not broken Chapter 191

"Mommy, do me now!" Kira was pushing me out of frame in the small mirror when I made a sigh, my eyeliner looked like crap, and I couldn't even blame it on her. Nope, it was all me, shitty-looking eyeliner and makeup, God... Joseph was going to flip when he saw it. I sighed and looked at her; she was happy, Buck was going to take her home at the end of the week, and I had told her she was over the moon, to be honest.

"Alright, what do you want, blush? Lipstick?" I didn't even care if she was making a mess; as long as she was happy, so was I. Kira made a bigger smile when she pointed to the blush, taking a generous amount onto her small cheeks and making me smile proudly. She was a princess, no doubt about that.

"I want to come along, mommy, please. I want to go with you!" she was smiling her sweetest when I pulled her closer, looking into her green-blue eyes; she was so beautiful, far more than I ever would be, perfection.

"No, you can't, baby, but I'll promise that you are going to have so much more fun with Heidi than you are with me, just old boring people talking, no playing..." she made a pout before shaking it off like she wasn't that interested in that.

"Okay..." she made an eye-roll to my smirk; I don't know where she had learned that but.... Yeah, I believe there was no stopping her when she was learning about being bossy; she was born like that.

"I'm going to miss you so much; maybe I should just stay here with you and Heidi when the boys sleep; watch some, my little pony?" Kira made a face that she didn't like that, not when I knew she liked Heidi, thank God for that, thank f*****g God for nannies, no matter how expensive they were, worth every penny.

"Heidi, I'm just going to kiss the boys, and then I'm going out. Thank you for working overtime...." I smiled at the woman older than me; she was nice, and Kira didn't seem to be able to make her make all her wishes, which was good enough for me. She was paid well for her time, maybe she even made more than me, but as I said, I didn't care.

"No worries, Theresa... I don't mind staying..." she made a smile that I nodded to, I bet she did, or at least she didn't cry herself to sleep over the money she was getting. Joseph would have to pay well, but that wasn't my problem.

"Alright..." I walked inside my bedroom, my boys inside their crib. I had at least ensured that I was at the table when they were having their first taste of food, even if they still had bottles. My heart felt like it was exploding, seeing them sleeping snuggled together. How the f**k could I have been so lucky, having such perfect kids?

"I love you so much.... oh god... I'm sorry... I'm sorry for fucking up your life so early and your daddy being a lying asshole.... Even if he loves you...." I was trying not to tear up, ruining the already shitty makeup, when my phone buzzed, and my car was here. Great, it was time to put on a show, then.

I still had no idea what Joseph expected from me, so I guess I was just going to see what happened and if it went to hell... at least it wasn't my parents.... fuck... I didn't want to think of them. Assholes had no f*****g idea what they were missing out on. "Kira baby, be good and go to bed when Heidi tells you, okay?" I was going for the door when she was after me, attacking my lower body, making me wobble in the high heels when I leaned down, hugging her hardback. I loved her, Jamie and Noah so much, so f*****g much. Light of my life, apples of my f*****g eye.

"See you tomorrow, baby... "I was kissing her head at least twice when she was giggling. Oh, she was so happy, her eyes looking even lighter, and it made me feel better; it really did.

"Bye, mommy..." she was waving me off with Heidi in the back of the door when I took a deep breath and walked towards the elevator, not wanting to go downstairs in heels; with my luck, I was going to take a faulty step and break my neck. "Bye!" I was yelling it back when the doors opened, and I walked inside, holding my hands harder like I was praying; been doing that since I got stuck in that damn elevator when I was married to Ryan.

Shit! I was squeezing my eyes shut hard, wanting nothing more than to get out, this elevator only had steel everywhere, and it was killing me like a box of death that you couldn't escape even if you wanted to!

"Get a fucking grip, Andrea!" I was hissing it to myself when the doors opened, and I almost ran out, making a face when someone almost ran into me, trying to get into the same place I just had left.

"Pretty?!" I turned my head, seeing that it was Tom, and he looked stunned like he didn't expect me to look dolled up, or at least some version of it, nothing too slutty as requested, just some cleavage, and the skirt was just above the knees.

"Yes?" I wasn't sure what he wanted, to tell me that I was the worst woman in the world, yelling at his cute girlfriend that was going home with Buck or if he was going to stare at me with his big dumb eyes.

"I thought you weren't; you know... seeing anyone?" He made a movement to my dress and hair that was down, soft locks, and I shrugged, not wanting to tell him shit. He was still Jonah's man, and nothing would change that.

"Yeah, so what if I am? Are there some rules about me dating?" He wasn't sure how to answer that, just scratching his beard like he was thinking over that answer, stupid gorilla.

"Shit... I guess not... I'm just surprised you're going out since Daisy isn't here to help you...." he looked suspicious when I decided to not answer him. Whatever he was thinking right now, I didn't care. He hasn't asked me how I was doing, and he had dinner with Jonah and his stupid wife, so screw him!

"Goodbye, Tom." I was turning around, my car waiting, when I walked outside the doors, the air was cooler, and I regretted not getting a jacket; this wasn't the south, and I was stupid, like always.

"Hey... hey, just wait; I want to talk to you. Can you give me five minutes?" He was blocking me when he ran past me. Shit, he was fast when I made a sigh and shrugged. Sure, take my time and waste it. He could drown for all I cared!

"Sure, talk..." I was looking at the driver, that seemed pissed when Tom turned, showing him that he wasn't going to ask him to stay one more time.

"Okay, so I know I haven't been that good at checking up on you, but... I'm sorry, I am.." he made a face that was supposed to make me feel bad for him; once upon a time, it did, but not anymore.

"Yeah, sure.... You're sorry... what else is new...." I was trying not to show him that I was hurt by him too. I know it was stupid, and I knew that he was Jonah's left hand and did everything for him, including having dinner with him and his wife, so why was I so offended by that? All of them, sitting down and having a good f*****g time, without me.... god, I was pathetic and jealous....

"I am for not checking in on you. I know you do not have the easiest life with the shit that has been going down and.... I just wanted to know if there was something I could do for you; maybe I could take the kids?" He was giving me a smile that looked genuine. He did care for me, which I had no doubt about, but in the end, I didn't fit into his life anymore, not when I was nothing to the family he was employed.

"Why? You already told me you don't like watching them, and Sophia will see them when she returns home...." I was tired of seeing him, listening to his trying words of making things right; it wouldn't happen, no matter how much he wanted them to be. "I never said that!? I just didn't have the time to babysit them, you know that, Andrea?!" He was getting upset when I nodded at that. Yeah, he could call it what he wanted. Nobody had time for my kids or me.

"Buck has them at the end of the week, so don't bother.... I just.... Tom, maybe it's better that we don't speak anymore, okay? Just go back to Jonah, and for the love of God, don't tell him that Buck has Kira. He hates that...." I made a sniffle feeling even more sorry for myself, and Joseph was going to kill me when I was going to be so late for this stupid fake date with his parents.

"Don't speak anymore?? Hey, what did I do wrong anyway?!" I walked past him into the car, glad there was some heating inside, and made a sad smile at the confused face with warm brown eyes that wanted to help me, but he couldn't. Nobody could. I learned that the hard way.

"Nothing, Tom, you did nothing wrong...." I was closing the door, telling the pissed-off driver to leave, when I saw him looking at the car in the reflection, looking sad, shit. I was sad too, and I knew that Joseph was right about that part. I couldn't be friends with Tom, not when he was so loyal to Jonah, I had to have my own circle.