Coming Home For Christmas
Chapter 88

Liam's P.O.V.

Rage, sadness, guilt, regret.

These are just some of the emotions I've been feeling for not only the past few days but also the past six years and now they've been made even worse after finding out my daughter is hurting because of me.

I was angry with both myself and my family for not seeing things sooner, I was angry with all of us for believing the lies instead of looking for the truth and I'm angry for taking Luca and Dylan's sides when I should've taken Lacey's side from the very beginning. I was feeling sad because I've not only lost my baby sister, my niece and my nephews but I've also missed out on six years of their lives and my actions or lack thereof have cost both my daughter and me the chance of ever having a relationship with them in the future. Some paragraphs are incomplete if you are not reading this novel on FindNovel.net. Visit FindNovel.net to read the complete chapters for free. I wish I could blame my parents, Luca and Dylan for all of this bullshit but I can't because I'm also to blame as well, I mean, I'm Lacey's big brother for f***s sake.

I'm the one who is supposed to love and care for her, I'm the one who is supposed to support her no matter what but most importantly, I'm the one who is supposed to protect her from those who want to cause her any harm or make her suffer even if those people I have to protect her from are our very own family but I failed her in my role as her big brother because I'm a coward.

I'm such a f*****g coward because I failed to protect my little sister and I didn't stand up for her when she needed me to. I also didn't take the golden opportunity to gain her forgiveness when she gave me the chance to and these are just some of the things that I'll not only feel guilty for and regret for the rest of my life but I'll forever be ashamed of as well.

After my little chat with Jade, I managed to reassure her that everything is gonna be ok and I was able to get some food down her.

I even gave her a bowl of her favourite ice cream with all of her favourite sprinkles and toppings on it to cheer her up. Normally, I don't like to give her too much sugar, especially at night because I don't want her to have a sugar rush right before bed but I think my little girl deserved a nice little treat tonight.

She's been so sad and miserable the past few days and I wanted to make her happy even if it was only for a little while.

Anyway, after bathing my daughter and putting her to bed, I quickly changed into some sweats and went to my home gym to release some of my energy and hopefully release all of the anger that's been building up inside of me on the punching bags.

I was only in here for about half an hour to an hour when I heard the sound of my music being turned off as my beautiful girlfriend's voice floated to my ears.

"Who's made you angry now, my love?"

Rachel asks me.

"Everything and everyone, babe"

I say in between breaths as I take off my boxing gloves which I struggled with thanks to a mixture of sweat and frustration.

I stopped what I was doing when I felt a warm hand on my cheek and I closed my eyes as I leaned in and enjoyed the feeling of her touch.

"Something tells me that this..."

Rachel drifts off as she caresses my cheek.

"Is more than just sweat on your face, Liam honey"

She says and I let out a sigh.

"I don't know what to do, Rae"

"About?"

"Everything...about Lacey, about the restraining order...about Jade"

I whimper at the end when I think of my poor little princess.

"Jade? what about Jade? is she ok?"

Rachel asks sounding worried and concerned for our daughter.

Rachel may not be Jade's biological mother but she's the only one she's ever known.

I had Jade when I was young and her biological mother wasn't interested in having her, she was planning on aborting Jade until I put a stop to it and begged her to keep the child and carry it as a surrogate for me.

She wasn't interested at all in being a mother and had told me that she had planned to have a hysterectomy because she didn't feel like she had the maternal instinct in her to be a mom, she had even booked the appointment to have the surgery shortly after our one night stand but a routine scan revealed she was pregnant.

We had no ill feelings towards one another and I treated her like a queen during the pregnancy, I mean after all, she was carrying my princess so it makes sense, right?.

After she gave birth, I handed her a cheque as a thank you and she left but not before signing her rights away to our daughter giving sole legal custody to me, as well as signing an NDA so that she couldn't sell a*********s to the press in the future.

A couple of years later, I got with Rachel who has been an amazing mother to my child and I honestly couldn't ask for a better mom for my kid than this amazing woman right here.

"She's fine, love, well, she's fine now I mean"

"What do you mean? she hasn't been refusing her meals again, has she?"

She asks and I nod my head.

"Yeah, she told Agatha that she wasn't gonna eat anything until she saw Lacey and the triplets again"

"Are you kidding me? babe, this can't continue on like this"

She says sounding just as frustrated as I am.

"You think I don't know that, Rae"

I growl at her.

"Do you really think I wanna see my child starving herself or getting upset or being sad or crying or worse thinking she's bad girl and that's why she can't see her cousins or her auntie? do you think I want this for our daughter? because I don't Rachel...I don't want this at all"

"I know you don't, honey, come here"

Rachel says as she hugs me, not caring if I'm a sweaty mess in her arms.

"What do you want then Liam? what do you want for you and our daughter? what's it gonna take for my two favourite people to be happy again?"

She asked me and I was silent for a few seconds before answering her.

"I wanna be happy, I want Jade to be happy...I want my sister"

"Then go and get her"

Rachel says as she pulls away from me.

"How, Rachel? she's got a restraining order out against me"

I say and she smirks.

"Baby, there are ways for you to contact, Lacey without you winding up in jail, you just have to be smart about it...as for Jade, I highly doubt your sister included that precious little girl in the RO, so maybe we can work out playdates for the kic through me or Ryker or hell even Logan"

"Hmm, I guess you're right"

I said while stroking my chin.

My girl was really giving me food for thought here and I think I knew what I needed to do in order to get what I wanted. I mean, what I was thinking of doing was a long shot a very long shot but it was still a shot and it was one that I was happily gonna take if it meant that I was in with a chance to get Lacey back in my life.

"What? what's that smile for?"

Rachel asks confused.

I grab my girl's face and kiss her lips before looking down at her with a huge smile plastered on my face.

"This smile is because I've just thought of a way for me to try and reconcile with Lacey without the law getting involved"

I kiss Rachel one last time before leaving the gym and heading up to my bedroom.

I have a quick shower and get changed into some fresh clean clothes before going to my office and taking a seat in my office chair.

What I'm about to do may not seem like much but hopefully, this little bit of effort from me will be just enough to thaw my sister's heart for me and get me through the door so that we can talk face-to-face and clear the air.

After spending around an hour and a half writing a letter to Lacey getting everything off my chest and telling her how I feel, how much I miss her and love her and how much I want us to be in each other's lives, I get up and leave my mansion.

Even though the Greystone estate isn't that far from where I live, I still got in my car and drove there because A) I wasn't planning on staying there long and B) it's freezing cold outside.

I'm not planning on freezing my balls off before I've had the chance to give my kid a sibling or two.

I suddenly felt nervous as I arrived at the Greystone and I could feel all of my confidence and adrenaline from earlier quickly drain from my body at the prospect of being rejected by either Logan or Lacey as I got out of my car and approached the door. I knocked on the door a couple of times before it was answered by a little boy who looked like an exact carbon copy of Logan when he was a kid.

"Jesus, have I opened the door to the past?"

"Technically sir, I opened the door you just knocked on it" Little smartass.

"You've got a mouth on you just like your father, speaking of which, where is he?"

"Who wants to know?"

He asks and I smile.

"My name's Liam Carpenter"

I say and he freezes as his little face turns stern.

"Can you go and get him for me, little man? it's important"

The little boy who I think is Logan Junior looked me up and down before nodding his head and walking away.

I was waiting outside in the cold for several minutes when Logan showed up and he looked angry as f**k.

"What the hell are you doing here, Liam? you know Lacey can have your ass thrown in jail with one phone call if she knew you were here"

"Don't worry, Logan, I'm not staying, I just came here to give Lacey this"

I say as I hand him the white envelope with cursive writing on the front of it.

"What is it?"

"It's a letter from me to Lacey...I was hoping I could sit down with her one day and tell her everything that's in that letter to her face but I can't do that now that she's got this RO out against me... "Which you deserve"

Logan said pissing me off.

"Actually, Luca, mom, dad and Dylan deserve it, not me...can you make sure Lacey gets that, please?"

"Why should I?"

Logan asks and I drop my head while sighing.

"Please, Logan"

I look up at him and plead with him to give Lacey my letter.

"I just want a chance to make things right with my sister"

"And this letter's gonna do that?"

Logan asks in a mocking tone.

"I don't know but it's worth a try, Logan"

I say in a defeated tone because that's how I feel right now.

I felt defeated and also kind of stupid that I thought writing my feelings down to Lacey would be the start of us building a bridge to moving on and moving forward with our lives together as a family.

Logan narrowed his eyes between the letter and myself a few times before letting out a breath and nodding his head slightly.

"Ok fine, I'll give it to her but I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you, Liam because you know better than anyone how stubborn my wife can be and you also know that once her mind is made up...then that's it, it's final" Yeah, don't I know it.

I thought to myself as I felt my confidence and positivity drain to an absolute zero.