Bullied Mate Of The Lycan Kings
Chapter 65

Lily's

POV

The entire lunch time was quiet and tense after Mauve's confession and plea to be given a second chance while there was entire ruckus and confusion going on in my head.

My heart was pounding faster than a herd of water buffalos throwing a tantrum, my head was throbbing with pain and a feeling of impending doom and crippling sadness had taken a hold of me. I knew what to do but even though I knew that it was the right thing, it didn't stop my hands from trembling so hard, I dropped my fork a few times.

Even though I tried my hardest to remain unaffected, I could not help but glance at her and Ren throughout, especially when Ren, being a gentleman had gone to get Mauve's lunch and had not bothered to ask what she wanted.

I had later realized that it was her favourite and saw the smile of hope on her face that he remembered something like that.

He was good. He was kind. I had no right to come between them. I'll find the one meant for me, and even if I don't, I will be genuinely happy for Ren as his friend.

Watching them hurt like a fist to the chest and even though Ren was not doing anything that hinted that he was ready to give her a second chance, I could not help the bite of jealousy that threatened to swallow me whole as I watched them sitting side by side the entire break time.

They looked good together, like they complimented each other. That was how it was supposed to be, was it not?

I didn't know why but I suddenly thought of my horrible first relationship.

Cade and I had never looked good together no matter how hard I tried. If he was a beloved golden retriever, I was a despised black alleycat. He was the golden boy, I was the plain jane that everyone considered lucky to even be associated with him, bur at the time, it had not mattered. Nothing had mattered because I was sure that Cade loved me.

How foolish I was. Appearances did matter and I was foolish to have believed that Ren would actually leave someone like Mauve for someone like me, especially when she was here, promising to be someone he could be proud of.

When the bell rang for the end of lunch, I heaved a sigh of relief. Good, I had one more class before I was home free for the rest of the day.

I was the first person to rise to my feet.

"I'll see you guys around." I quickly said and rushed towards the door not waiting for a response.

I was almost at the door however when someone held my hand and spun me around gently. My heart skidded to a halt as Ren guided me close to the wall beside the exit doors and stood in front of me

No, he didn't just stand in front of me, he caged me in, his hands on either sides of my head, his tall form, towering over me.

I have never seen him look so serious.

"You've been avoiding me. Stop it." He said without preamble in that voice. You know, THAT voice that made me want to keel over and submit to every word he says.

"I've not," I said, gulping nervously and looking around because s**t s**t s**t! What was he thinking? What if Mauve comes and sees us? What if anyone comes and sees us.

Oh gods.

I vaguely registered the people trooping out of the cafeteria, including Rhea and Chelsea who shot me worried glances that I replied with a nod before they left the hall. "Ren, there're people here," I said tensely.

He froze, losing that predatory shine in his eyes. Releasing me and looking around, he cleared his throat.

"I've been trying to get you to look at me throughout but it did not work."

"Mauve was right there."

"I had no idea that she was going to do this." He started and before he could continue speaking, I raised my hand, halting him mid speech before slowly lowering it and giving him a smile that was as sad as how I felt because right now, smiling was the last thing I wanted to do.

"You don't have to explain anything to me, Ren. Perhaps it is even better this way. I was not in my right mind last night, after the whole thing with Aiden and Zac, and I said a whole bunch of nonsense that I wish I could take back but since it's too late for that, I would like to ask you to forget everything that happened last night." I managed to finish with a straight face even though my eyes were burning with unshed tears and I wanted to run away from here.

I turned to leave but was surprised when Ren grabbed my arm and stopped me, closing the distance between us even though I was certain that Mauve and whoever was left in the cafeteria was watching me.

"What are you talking about right now?" he asked, light brown eyes wide with something akin to desperate need. "I don't think you understand what is happening here. Mauve said all of those things, yes but it changes nothing, Lily. I don't want to be with Mauve. I want to be with you and I need you to understand that. What will it take to make you mine? What do I have to do to prove to you that it's you I want?"

My heart squeezed, my resolve crumbled, a lump stuck in my throat. A tear slipped from my eyes and I looked away, not wanting him to see me, to see how much he affected me.

He took my face gently in his hands, making me stare right into his eyes, thumbs circling my cheekbones.

"I can't-" I whispered.

"All you have to do right now is say that you want to be with me too, sweetheart. Nothing else matters but the two of us and if you say yes, then I'm ready to do everything in my power to make you mine. Nothing will change my mind. Not Mauve, not Aiden and not even my parents. I'll reject the mating bond if I have to, Lily, so please just tell me that this means as much to you as it does to me."

His words were not hurried and when I looked at him, I knew that he was not joking either. This was the moment that I had been waiting for, wasn't it? It was the answer to all of my dreams.

My resolve faltered.

And yet as I glanced at Mauve still sitting at the table watching us from afar with a heartbroken expression on her face, I knew that even though I wanted to say yes to him so badly, I could not do that to Mauve.

I can't. I need to fix things. Make them right again. I need to know my place and stay in line. I can't take anyone's place in his life. It's just cruel and unfair especially for someone that has never gone out of her way to hurt me.

I owed her nothing but she was an omega like me and now that I knew that she used to bullied like me before she met Ren, the last thing I wanted to do was take away the shield that protected her for my selfish interests, especially now that I knew no one else cared about her. She would not survive it.

So even though it ripped my heart to pieces, even though my eyes swelled with tears, I knew what I had to do.

"I'm so sorry Ren. I believe that I am responsible for this mess and I would like to correct any misunderstanding. I have misled you into thinking something else when all I wanted was to have a friend. Nothing more." Ren held my hand and shook his head, his eyes filled with dread and disbelief.

"You know that you can't hide the truth from me, Lily. Please tell me the truth. f**k everybody else and focus on you for one damn second!"

His reply made me remember that Ren could read minds when he wanted to, but the doubt on his face meant that I was doing a good job of confusing him about what the truth really was.

That meant that I could push harder and get away with my lie, so I hardened my heart and dealt the final blow that would wreck the two of us, looking at him directly in the eyes as I broke his heart and mine.

"I don't want you. Not in the way you think I do. You were the first friend I ever had and I might have overstepped my boundaries with you but please don't misunderstand me. I have nothing but platonic love for you."

The horror in Ren's golden brown eyes were like nothing I had ever seen before and he looked so distraught and confused and hurt, his hand dropping mine like he had been slapped hard.

Before I could do something stupid like give in to my true desires and beg him to not listen to my lies, Mauve walked over to where we stood and hung on to his hand.

"Can you walk me to my next class?"

I didn't wait to hear his answer, giving them one ready smile before rushing out of the cafeteria to see Rhea and Chelsea waiting for me, their faces worried when they took in my state of distress, but thankfully, they didn't say anything, only choosing to walk beside me in silence and I was grateful because right now, speaking was the last thing I wanted to do as we walked to my locker.

The last thing I expected to see was Zac staring at my vandalized locker in horror and confusion.