Bullied Mate Of The Lycan Kings
Chapter 55

Ren's POV

Maybe it was because of how everywhere was quiet and peaceful but I finally had time to think about how the entire day had gone and even though I knew that my friendships were probably over at this point, I also knew that nothing could beat the look that I had seen on Lily's face when she opened that door and realized that I had come to stay with her instead of being on the sides of my friends.

I didn't even realize that she would even ever consider me attractive until I brushed my lips against hers and she didn't move away.

She wanted me. Probably as much as I wanted her. I didn't want to impose what I wanted on her. Didn't want to make assumptions. But how can I not when she's looking at me with 'f**k me' eyes? When her pores are practically screaming at me to make her mine. Not having her pull away from me was the confirmation I needed.

I had been getting mixed signals all evening but that was the one thing that made me stop myself from peering into her mind to look at, no matter how curious I was to know how she felt about me and how she saw me.

But I knew that I had not mistaken the spark in her eyes especially when she handed me a shirt and practically shoved me into the bathroom at the sight of my bare chest.

I was courting fire, I whispered to myself when I drew her in for a kiss on her forehead but I had realized that where Lily was concerned, the Ren who hesitated about everything and anything was nowhere to be found. That Ren seemed to have taken a back seat and I loved this version of me that didn't want to stand by the sidelines anymore.

At some point during the movie, I realized that I was the only one that was still awake, looking at the screen. Not that I was able to concentrate on anything related to the movie when Lily was wrapped around me like a second skin, deeply asleep and her body relaxed and comfortable when she had been anything but in the beginning.

I could not lie, the feel of Lily against me was so euphoric, I didn't want anything else. I wanted her to continue to be by my side. I wanted her to never let go of me and as she snuggled deeper into me, seeking my body heat, I kissed her hair, loving the silky softness, her scent of Jasmine and lavender and the peace that radiated from her.

I could not lie and say that the fact that she had been hesitant to sit with me to watch the movie immediately had not stung but I was happy that I had moved to the ground to sit with her, realizing that she was just shy, her pretty eyes giving away everything she was thinking at a glance. I knew that she liked me and right now, that was more than enough.

She was so beautiful, her face relaxed and her body no longer tense that it made me wonder where she had been all my life and why she was only just appearing now.

I had to count myself lucky that I was even anywhere in her orbit.

She was like her name. A gentle, lovely flower, so beautiful and fragile. I should be content just watching her grow from the sidelines. Watch her grow and blossom like I knew she would without my interference.

But there was a part of me, the darker part that I acted like it didn't exist, that part wanted to pluck her before anyone else notices and has the idea to do the same. That part of me was willing to do anything that it took to make her mine and keep her.

I wanted to treat her with so much love and acceptance that she would never want anyone else but me. She would never look for that love outside of me. If I could see how beautiful she was, it was only a matter of time before others got over her father's betrayal and saw her for what she was; a queen. And she would leave. Just like my mother did. Just like Mauve always threatened to do.

I wasn't her mate and sooner or later, the bastard will come along and claim her as his... and take what's mine.

I can't let that happen.

I knew it was irrational to think like this. Especially because I had not given Lily any reason to even want to be with me or stay with me but I could not help but wonder if she would stay if she knew everything there was to know about me; The truth of my birth. My illegitimacy to the alpha title.

My father may be alpha but my mother was another one of his many mistresses, back when the alpha and Luna's mating bond was nothing to be proud of. They were trying to make their marriage work now and Ariel had long since accepted and adopted me as her own son and made me a prince, but it would take a lot more to convince our subjects to do the same.

I was afterall tainted blood, a half blood prince, cursed to always be looked down on as proof of the alpha's infidelity.

My heart started racing. Panic shot through my entire body, making me struggle to breathe.

No, Lily would leave of she knows all that. There's no way she'd stay with me if she had better options. She'd leave and I would not be able to do anything to stop her, only watching her go helplessly, taking the battered pieces of my heart with her.

A dark feeling of possessiveness and violent need consumed me and my grip on her tightened so hard that she whimpered, but still held on tightly to me, still sleeping soundly and probably not realizing that it was I who was holding on too tight. Her body language showed that despite her hesitance, she trusted me to look out for her and this was how I was going to act?

Immediately shaking my head to rid myself of the dark thoughts that threatened to drag me under, I loosened my hold on her and kissed her hair again, knowing without a doubt that what I felt for Lily was nothing platonic.

I knew that she had been shocked when I whispered Mauve's name as the answer to why I was not hers yet but it was the truth. The only thing that was still holding on to my failing self control around her was knowing that it would be unfair to initiate anything when I was still with Mauve.

Things were so complicated but I knew what I wanted now and it had taken that conversation with Angelo to realize that I could no longer pretend that I would be able to stay in a loveless relationship for the rest of my life in order to keep up appearances. I'd be putting her in a position she didn't deserve. I'd be putting myself and Mauve in a position I have watched my parents be in all my life. I should know better than that. I've always wanted them to divorce and go their seperate ways but I couldn't even do that now that I found myself in a similar situation.

I wanted Lily but there was nothing I could do when I still had Mauve as my mate. The first thing that I had to do was end things with Mauve. But the problem was that I could not just outrightly reject her after accepting the mating bond. It was very well known that few werewolves survived the pain of rejection from a mate and Mauve was an omega; her wolf might not survive the bond breaking.

I had to thread carefully and make sure that whatever choice I made would not hurt Mauve, but most of all Lily. But one thing was certain. I was done ignoring this need. I was going to go for what I wanted without remorse.

"Ren?" Lily suddenly whispered and my heart skipped as she opened her eyes slowly, looking around before looking at me.

"What time is it? Am I hurting you?" She mumbled sleepily, her little pout the cutest thing I had ever seen and tried to pull away but I stopped her and guided her head back to my chest again, rubbing her back gently.

"Everything is fine, love, just go back to sleep, okay? I'll be here in the morning." I whispered and when she nodded, wrapping her arms around my waist again, I knew that I was gone for this girl and there was no turning back no matter what. She looks so beautiful and at peace,

I would do anything to keep her like this. I just wanted to swallow her up and lock her in my heart forever. I wanted to mark her. Claim her as mine.

My heart picked up its pace at the mere thought of it.

I keeps going back to the conversation we just had. Now more than ever, I'm sure that she wants me as much as I want her. Since I found out that sometimes my powers could reflect something different from what a person is really thinking, based on my own preconceived thoughts and notions, I can make assumptions that aren't always right, I was wary of blindly trusting my powers. I had not wanted to put words into her mouth but she had still said that she wanted to be mine. Well, she better take responsibility for what happens here on out.

For the first time, Ren Hawthorne was going to damn the consequences and follow his heart. And I knew that what I was going to do would shake the fabric of the entire Shadow cove.