A Rogue For Four Alphas
Chapter 54

Chapter Fifty Four

When the sunlight coming in through the curtainless windows wakes me, I start my day craving morning sex, another thing I'd enjoyed while living with the men. I also miss their brand of coffee, and seeing all of them in their sexy form when working out before they leave for work.

When it's time for me to go to to the coffee, I park on drive through the long route to avoid using their street to avoid seeing them. I don't plan to avoid them forever, but things are just so raw; I'm not sure how I'll react, and I'm not sure I'm prepared to engage in further arguments with them

My boos asks me what's wrong, but I just tell her I'm tired, and distract her with conversation about all of the things I've been doing to set up our new apartment.

The coffee is packed with a good summer crowd, and there are a lot of hot men, but my heart isn't in it. They all just look like customers, not like prospects for a fun night. Of course, I have my sister to look out for now, so my head's in a different place, but I know I'd be lying to myself if

I said that was the reason for my disinterest.

As the nights pass by, I expect my thoughts of the men to gradually fade, but if anything, the opposite happens. Twice, I go out of my way to drive by their house during the day.

I never manage to see all four of them, but I know exactly who I see, even from behind and from a distance. It reminds me of the day I first met Damon, and how he didn't even want to introduce me to the others—and then he ended up proposing that they all share me.

It all seems unreal, when I think about it. But in another way, the pain in my heart from missing them is achingly real. It's not fair how our heads and hearts can be in such opposition.

BY THE TIME I'M STARTING TO WONDER IF I NEED SOME SORT OF THERAPY to get the four men out of my mind, they make things even worse by coming into the coffe shop. All four of them. And they look so damn good that my insides melt at the sight of them.

Alpha Erik's hair looks a little longer and more disheveled than when I last saw it, while Alpha Harry apparently just got a haircut, and a wave of sadness hits me at the thought that time is passing and things are changing, and I'm not in their lives to witness it.

See what I mean about how living with them changed me? I am some sort of hopeless sap these days, and I can hardly stand to be around myself.

Based on what they're wearing, they didn't come in straight from work. They've been home, showered, and changed, and I have such a strong urge to go over and inhale the scent of their skin that I have to grip the bar counter to stay put. When their eyes find me, Damon and Erik nod, and Harry and Ian give tentative smiles, but then they proceed to the back, toward the office, and I see that Lukas is standing there waiting for them.

I feel like I've been punched in the stomach. I was apparently hoping that they'd come in to declare their undying love and tell me they're miserable without me, but I guess that's just how I'm feeling about them. They're here to meet to get some coffee and not for Metz

I do my best to focus on my work, but I'm incredibly aware, at every single moment, that they're under the same roof. My eyes keep going to the hall, waiting for them to come out, hoping they'll stop to talk to me.

I suppose that with the way I fled their house, I didn't leave a big opening for a happy reunion. Maybe in the days that have passed, they've realiz that they're happy I'm gone. Maybe they're getting along better without me creating tension between them.

I know they miss me in their beds, though.

.

Somehow, while I'm busy with customers in the corner, the four men seat themselves at a table. As soon as I spot them, I also see My Boss heading over to greet them, but I head off the other server. "I've got this one, you can take the next two that come in," I tell him

My Boss arches a brow before he turns back.

"Hi," I say in a voice I don't recognize when I arrive at their table

Damon and Ian have a wariness in their eyes that makes me wonder if I could have handled things better when I left.

"How are you,Jasmine?" Harry asks.

My hands grip my order pad in front of me as if in need of some sort of anchor. "I'm okay. How are all of you?"

"We're okay," Ian says.

"What can I get you to drink?"

They don't have orders at the ready, but after some back and forth discussion about what beer we have, I return to the counter with their requests. As I convey their orders, I realize my hands are shaking. What's wrong with me? They're just men.

Gorgeous, kind, and caring men, but also - let's not forget - domineering men.

I hold my head higher and keep my shoulders back when I return to their table. As I set down their drinks, Harry asks, "Has everything been all right?"

Except for lying awake at night missing you, sure, everything's been fine, I think. And missing you throughout much of the rest of the day, but otherwise, yeah, just fine.

"Has your mother been around again?" Ian asks, adding to Harry's question.

I shake my head. "She hasn't bothered us. She doesn't know where we are, but she hasn't even been texting anymore."

M

"And where are you?" Damon asks, before quickly adding, "If you don't mind telling us."

I look more closely at him, and am shocked to see the hangdog look on his face. "I found an apartment here on the island. And don't worry," I say, glancing at Erik "there's no mold in sight." "Glad to hear it," Erik says, the rich depth of his voice taking me right back to nights spent in submission in his room.

"Anything you need help with there?" Ian asks. "Moving in furniture, or anything?"

"No, we're all settled." We actually do need to buy a TV and stand, but I don't know if I could handle having the men in the apartment. I'd be too tempted to tackle them and have my way with them. "Well, if you ever need anything," Ian says, "just reach out."

Just reach out. I want to reach out and touch them, and that's my whole problem. "Okay. Thanks."

An awkward moment follows, during which I think they're about to say something, and maybe they think the same of me, but none of us speak.

In the end, I tell them I need to get back to work, which is true. I watch them, while trying to pretend I'm not, until eventually they finish their drinks and leave, offering nods and small waves from across the room when they do.