A Howling Heart
Chapter nine

I shouldn't go.

I cannot trust that man. I am not going. I'd be stupid to go.

My gaze sweeps across my room to the window where the night sky looms. The moon is high in the sky, the light streaming through the window, causing prickling along my skin and a sense of longing that winds me. Once the moon felt safe, the looming promise of something bigger feels suffocating.

This whole town is weird. It makes me feel and act downright bizarre.

Maybe it was a mistake moving here.

I'm startled when the word 'no' pops into my mind, a deep, gruff tone that resembles a voice I've heard before but am unsure I can correctly pinpoint. I shake my head, dispelling my raging thoughts, in the hopes of winding down into a peaceful sleep and forgetting about Matias.

Matias...

He thinks I'm going to go back. Like I can't resist him.

I snort dramatically, the sound bereft of actual annoyance in my empty room, but despite its vacancy, I don't feel alone.

I always feel like someone's watching me as of late.

My hand strokes my throat, the memory of strong hands encircling it a violent entity in my mind.

I honestly thought I was going to die.

The word 'never' pops into my head, again in that gruff voice, and I shake on my bed. I can't help but bite my lip nervously as my eyes shift to the clock on the bedside table. The red lights blink at '11 pm', and I suddenly become restless. Now is not the time for insomnia.

I have to get up and look for a job tomorrow. Otherwise, we won't eat fairly soon... and living without sustenance is hard.

I grit my teeth when I present the question I've been avoiding aloud. "Would it really be that bad?"

I shake my head profusely as I hop off my bed.

Yes, it would.

But I might get answers. This whole situation has made no sense, and the least he could do was elaborate. Tell me why he's protecting his uncle. Maybe I could realize why I feel this pull to him... why he invades my mind all day, and I find myself almost hopping in the car?

No, I could never admit that. Ever.

A man like him could never be with someone like me. We are complete opposites. I don't know where his attraction comes from. I keep to myself. I'm - I'm plain.

Swiftly, aggression spikes within me, and I glare at my empty room. Blowing out a deep breath, I place a hand on my bed and steady my panting until I've calmed myself. What the hell was that?

I'm shaken up. My arms encircle my waist as I move back to the bed and begin to sit on it.

I'm just tired.

That's why the longing within me heightens uncontrollably.

I don't want to give him the satisfaction.

With a firm mental reprimand, I climb back into bed and shut my eyes tightly. The house is still. There is no noise but my heart as it begins to hammer wildly in my chest.

I should just forget him and his lunacy.

I toss and turn, sweat beading my forehead, and my lungs feel tight. An ache flows from my head down to the tips of my toes. I stretch my limbs, hoping to rid myself of the uncomfortableness.

Am I really trying to find a reason to get out of bed? I just need to go to sleep.

I swipe the sweat from my forehead and flop onto my stomach, groaning when I feel pain rippling in my gut.

Something isn't right.

I curl up in a ball when the pain increases, clutching my stomach as the wind is knocked out of me, and a stabbing feeling spreads from my gut up into my neck.

Oh god! It hurts so much!

I open my mouth to call out to my mother, but all that comes out is a garbled moan.

Oh! Am I dying?

I'm dying!

I suck in a strangled breath, the pain crescendoing until it completely disappears, and I sigh at the relief that hits me immediately.

What. the. Heck.

I blink rapidly, and steady breaths to compose myself are dragged in through my nose until I'm able to sit back up.

That was weird.

Maybe I'm coming down with something.

I climb out of bed, determined to grab a glass of water, hoping that the fear I felt from the pain will subside, but as soon as I take my first step, the pain slams into me with such force that I drop to the floor. My last thought is a plea in my mind, which I know will be unheard of.

Help!

My curiosity and my strange connection with him dictate my next moves. I rise and swipe my phone off my bedside table before moving towards the door.

I must be losing it because I'm going.

When I move through my doorway, I'm winded by a blast of heat that causes me to stumble backward slightly. I grasp the door frame to steady myself.

What the?

That was so weird.

I straighten myself, only to drop to my knees and curl in on myself when I'm stricken with a pain so severe it makes my heart palpitate, and my teeth grind so hard, I'm afraid of chipping them.

Oh my god! The pain!

I can't breathe; it hurts so bad!

The pain pulsates as it moves through me, spreading from my stomach outward to my limbs. I writhe on the floor in agony. My head fills with pressure, and my bones feel like they're breaking. I open my mouth, and all that comes out is a strangled gasp.

Am I dying?

Oh god, I'm dying, aren't I?

My mouth goes slack, and my body shakes from the violent stabbing feeling along my skin. A blurriness fills my vision, and reality fades into the black.

Ugh! Someone help me!

It hurts so much!

I want to scream for my mother or anyone who will hear my pleas for life, but the pain crescendos and I find myself fading into the darkness.