A Howling Heart
Chapter sixty-five

In one hour, I've lost almost everything. My mother has disappeared with my daughter, and now my husband cannot be tracked past Amoux territory. He's vanished past their boundary, and a sick feeling inside me tells me this is so much bigger than I can imagine.

I reflect on the past few months. The encounters I've had with my mother. Her behavior. Nothing out of the ordinary has happened. With Esai gone, she's seemed accepting of her life as Lycan. She's freely and willingly helped around our territory, tending to me and any other wolves needing help. Her excitement to be a grandmother was unmatched, in my opinion.

Occasionally, she would need some space. We'd allow her to go off in the woods but reminded her not to stray too close to the Amoux. She always returned and seemed refreshed and hopeful. I never thought to have her followed. Matias wanted to. He stressed the importance of keeping a watchful eye on her. I chalked it up to his paranoia born of everything that's happened since our arrival in this town, but now that I think about it, we should've followed her. Perhaps we would have a better idea of her location right now.

My thoughts race with the worst-case scenarios.

What if she hurts my daughter? What if she held a grudge against me for making it difficult to leave when she wanted to? Would she truly hurt her flesh and blood? If she was that resentful, she would've just left without me. But why take my daughter?

A knock on my bedroom door steals my attention from the showcase of despair in my head.

"Come in," I say hoarsely and look up at the door as it opens.

Mason enters, a somber expression on his face. "We can't find him. The boundary to Amoux is too guarded. We're at a standstill. What do you want us to do? We could fight, but they outnumber us five to one, Fae." "Five to one?" I parrot incredulously. I can't hide my shock. My eyes bulge, mouth agape as I watch Mason nod.

I can't bear the thought of something happening to Matias.

Tears fill my eyes unbidden. Filled with too much pride to openly weep in front of Mason, I turn my head and close my eyes, hoping to breathe through the urge to sob. Still, tears roll down my cheeks, and pity stains Mason's face when I finally look at him again.

He shoves a hand through his brunette locks, letting his brown eyes flicker from the baby in my arms to me again. His jaw ticks as he steps forward with a slightly outstretched hand as if he will reach for mine. He clenches it into a fist, rethinking his moves before clearing his throat.

"I'm sorry, Fae. I-I don't know what to do. This hasn't happened before. We've had issues with them here and there in the past, but they've never bulked up their pack like this. It's as if..." He trails off. His reluctance to speak is irking. "As if what? Say it!" I demand venom in my tone.

"As if they are preparing for war."

Impending doom swoops in and steals the show from despair. My chest feels tight like I can't breathe, and a fit of hyperventilation consumes me to the point that Mason comes and tries to scoop the baby from my arms. I growl at him, and he jerks back, his eyebrows furrowing with offense.

I blow out a breath, throw my legs over the side of the bed, and sit up. The bedding squelches beneath me, still freshly soiled from giving birth not too long ago. I don't bother being embarrassed, but I do feel apologetic. "Mason, I am very sorry. My daughter, mother, and husband have all disappeared. You'll have to excuse me if I'm unwilling to let others hold my son right now."

He nods and presses a hand to his chest. "Let me apologize. I wasn't thinking. I want to help."

I sigh. "I know you do. I just need my husband found. Tell the Amoux that if they don't want a war on their hands, then they'd better let you physically confirm that our Alpha is alive. Okay?" "Yes, Ma'am." He frowns. "I will send in one of the women to help you."

I nod because, at this point, it's better than him trying. I'm still fully naked under this bedsheet.

'MATIAS, I NEED YOU. PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE ALRIGHT!'

No response.

When Mason leaves, I allow myself a bit of weakness and weep, mourning the loss of three people. Even if my mother isn't dead, she is dead to me. This kind of betrayal is unforgivable. 'MATIAS, I DON'T KNOW WHO TO TRUST.'

And because I am unsure of who to trust, I am utterly useless. I cannot help with my son needing me.

As if on cue, he wails loudly in my arms, turning bright pink. His arms are tightly shut, his hands roaming in search of food. I free my chest and allow him to drink so I can clear my mind for a moment in the silence. I use my free hand to wipe at my tears.

I just need damage control.

If they let us see that my mate is alive, then at least I can breathe, knowing that is the case. If they don't allow us to see him or tell us he is dead...

I shiver with fury and sadness.

Lord, please don't let him be dead.

Gyta was allowed to bring me back. Could she bring him back? Would she?

Matias may not be so lucky.

I just need to wait.

Another knock on the door grabs my attention. I look up. "Come in."

Vanessa enters, her auburn curls wildly framing her head. She has tan skin and freckles that give her a bubbly appearance, but even her usual wide smile falters when she looks at me.

"Oh, Fae, I am so sorry." She rushes over and throws her arms around me without asking. I don't chastise her for it, although Matias would because comfort does its job and uplifts me for once. Her arms are the only thing keeping me tethered to a reality where I have a chance of making it through.

"Matias will return. I just know it," she states confidently.

I wish I had that much faith.