A Howling Heart
Chapter Fifty-Nine

When we are out of the tub, Matias looks hungrily at me as I begin to peel my shirt away from my body in preparation for taking it off. "As much as I want to stand here and watch you, I think it would be wiser to let you do this yourself. We are too close to the blue moon. My control is hanging by a thread."

"O-Okay. Same," I admit, feeling the blush rising to my cheeks. I can never keep my feelings hidden. They are always written clearly in my expressions.

When we were going to bathe, just the thought of seeing him soaking wet and naked was almost too much to handle. If things went down that road, I would give myself to him whichever way he wanted.

He blows out a breath, obviously having heard that thought, and bites his fist like he's in agony. "I would say guard your thoughts, but I enjoy hearing them too much. When you are mine, things will be complete for me, Fae. You have no idea." "Oh, I think I understand a little bit," I reply shyly.

Water drips from my clothing onto his floor. "Have you decided if you're going to stay or not? I would like to get changed sometime," I tease.

He swallows. "Tempting. I can't."

"Are you sure?" I step toward him and wink. He huffs and storms out of the room, slamming the door hard enough to shake this mansion, and that's saying something.

Do I really affect him that much?

I smile with excitement swirling in my chest. To have a man that desires me as passionately as this one is unlike the movies. It's better than all those mushy romance movies and novels I've read. To have it physically here, to feel it through his touches and kisses and actions, it is the strongest and purest thing I've known.

Something my mother never had. Something I know she longed for, but her messy past has hurt her so badly that she never sought companionship afterward. Of course, illness wasn't the best talking point during a date.

I wish she had gotten the love I'm getting from Matias, but that it had ended happily for her.

Both choices were poor. Esai was a terrible catch, and so was the man she claims is my father. It's a miracle I still have faith in men.

Mine is different, though. I can feel it.

I turn and smile down at the clothing he's left for me on the bed. It's a baggy T-shirt and a pair of shorts. They're boy shorts, just smaller than his, so maybe he borrowed them from one of the other male pack members. Or there was an extra pair waiting somewhere nearby.

Either way, he wants me to be comfortable with what we will soon embark upon.

I get dressed in them and use the spare time I have to move around Matias's room, calming my nerves by touching all the items he has: books of Lycan lineage, a chess set, pictures of him, and a woman I've never seen who looks like him. His mother, maybe? The resemblance is uncanny. Her dark hair matches his. Those brown eyes, with a hint of red, remind me of the eyes I used to picture in my dreams. Matias's eyes seem to change often according to his mood. It is as if his wolf peeks out here and there, depending on the situation.

I turn when there's a knock on the door. "Yes?"

"It's me," Matias answers from the other side and enters before asking if I'm decent. His large frame moves past his doorway, and he stops to get a glimpse of me. Guess he isn't afraid of losing control that much, or that was a sign of his lack of control. Either way, he scans me and nods approvingly when we are face to face.

I scan him, noticing how he is also in a fresh pair of shorts and a T-shirt, looking relaxed but as handsome as ever.

"It's time, Fae," Matias urges. His eyes are darker than ever before. The atmosphere shifts. The air becomes electric with need and destiny.

The hairs on my arms stand on end as chills roll through me. Is he being serious?

I don't know much about the blue moon, but I was convinced we would at least have a little more time. Or it's the nerves that are racing in me.

"Now?" I swallow nervously.

He nods. "Yes. Now, my Love."

I don't know if I'm ready for this.

"You are. Let me carry you, my Queen."

"I-Matias, I'm nervous."

It has to be in front of a bunch of people.

"It will be effortless. Believe me." He offers me his hand. "Trust me, Fae. I will not let anything happen to you. Can you do that?"

I let out the breath I was holding and nodded. "Okay."

He carries me out of his room and down the stairs toward the howling wolves that I hear lingering outside. He kicks the door open, his eyes remaining on me as he moves to the field that's illuminated by moonlight. I feel the change is near, too.

My eyes move over the wolves that are all lingering near the edge of the field.

They must watch.

I feel the potency behind those words like they're ingrained in my blood.

He lays me down in the field, and a chorus of howls breaks through the silence of the trees until it's all I can hear; that and the low growl rumbling in Matias's chest as he eyes me. Oh yes.

I gasp as I capture his shirt in my hand, and I yank him down so I can kiss him possessively.

Matias...

My mate...

Anima mea...

I pull away quickly, sucking down a gulp of air.

"I am yours, my Alpha."

He leans forward, capturing my lips once again before biting my bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. I do the same.

Yes...

I growl. It comes out of nowhere, but instead of deterring Matias, it motivates him, and I find him growling, too. "Matias! I love you!"

My soul.

He rasps my name. "Fae... Mine..."

I allow him to lead, not holding back in the process, but Tonya's voice pierces the air before we can complete anything. "No!"