A Howling Heart
Chapter forty-four

Fae's POV.

I get to an area with a ladder and doors within the ground that lead above ground, and Matias is forced to let me go. I shake, nervousness causing me to hold myself as he opens the thick metal doors.

"You first." His chivalry and care envelop me in their warmth. It's an amazing feeling to finally be the one cared after and not the other way around. I spent many years caring for my mother, even before she was sick... as a single mother sadness and loneliness often visited her. I felt the need to try and help, to make her feel loved and wanted and needed. To give her purpose really helped pull her out of her fits of depression, but no one ever looked close enough to ask how I was hanging on. How I managed to be an adult when I should've been enjoying my life as a teenager.

I pray that never happens to any children of mine. Forced to grow up because of the mistakes of adults who were supposed to protect and love them...

Matias helps me up the ladder before following me upward, where I meet several wolf eyes emerging from the darkness.

Should I even tell him about Tonya? Is now the time to bring about another form of conflict?

Although, it could just be called weaning out the traitors to the pack.

Tempting but no. I don't think I can. I can't tell him.

It could just be in my head. What if he thinks it's from jealousy?

"What could be in your head?"

My face falls, and I remember that he hardly tunes out of my mind, so keeping things a secret is almost impossible. "Nothing."

I begin walking, and he grabs my arm, whipping me around into his chest again. His smell envelops my nose, and his firmness warms my body.

"Do not lie to me. There are no secrets. Tell me, Anima Mea, so I may meet your needs." His fingers stroke my arms causing shivers to run down my spine. He is a master of derailing my stubbornness and getting my body to yearn for him enough for me to obey his commands.

Tend to my needs?

Like I am royalty.

The thought makes me snort inwardly.

"You are more important than royalty. You are priceless."

I firm my lips, my cheeks warming with embarrassment, and I know he's seen my blush when he raises his hands to my cheeks to stroke the rosy-colored flesh.

"Tell me." He urges me once more and drops his hand, letting me step back and sigh.

"I saw Tonya before I left."

"Saw her... where?" He furrows his eyebrows. His tone is guarded as he waits for your answer.

"Near the door. When I went storming out, she just stood there..."

His jaw clenches, and the movement makes the veins in his neck bulge as his nostrils flare. His eyes move along the darkness until he settles on a pair of eyes. Matias narrows his gaze as familiarity passes between their gazes. "She had instructions. And she disobeyed. She jeopardized your life... and why? For what?"

I clamp my mouth shut, dispelling the jealous words on my tongue.

Probably because I have him and she doesn't.

He's mine... and although he thinks sex is purely nature-driven, with the resentment in her eyes when she saw me, I'd bet the sex was more emotional on her part.

"She loves you."

"What?" I shrug, pretending it doesn't hurt me, but it does. Another woman loves him. Another woman has had him in a way I never have, and the connection they've felt has led her to bitterness. That kind of intimacy makes me light-headed with anger.

I have no right to be jealous. I know that.

It was before me.

But I can't help it. I am jealous.

"Fae..." He says my name with such care and gentleness I feel the love behind the word. "We will have more than that."

He's probably just saying that.

"I am not."

He grabs my hand, pressing it against his chest, where I hear the steady beat of his heart, and I know he is being truthful.

"Feel...I will not lie to you. We will have more. Now, let me bring you to safety."

I think of the mansion and shiver. I don't feel safe there. Not anymore. Not when there are members who may be out to hurt me.

"I will not let anyone hurt you."

"Please don't leave me," I plead. "I trust you, Matias."

"I will not leave your side. Not until the blue moon has passed and you are mated to me for life. And you've had your first transformation."

Transformation...

He nods.

"Come."

He grabs my hand, and we both begin walking through a brush of trees and deeper into the forest. But by his side, that cloak of safety naively rests upon my shoulder.

Mating with him... and transforming. I never really thought about having to turn into a wolf.

Or how painful...

I guess I was so worried about the mating part that I didn't give it any thought.

His hand tightens around mine.

"I will be with you to guide you through the change. And I will change and claim you in wolf form... and the prophecy will be fulfilled. We will be bound for life."

He sounds proud and excited as he explains the process, which takes some of the scariness from it.

My mother won't approve...

My eyes widen as it dawns on me I haven't contacted my mother at all. She's probably worried sick! My mom!

"Oh no. She's probably worried sick. I need to go home."

"No." He shakes his head. "You aren't safe there. You are to remain with me. At your true home."

"My true home includes my mother." I pull my hand from his angrily. "You know she will not stand for it. Abandoning her is not the way to convince her. She's all I've ever had. I must go to her. I will tell her what Nate said. I-I'll explain, and she will come."

I know it's a game of roulette. It could go either way, but I won't give up. I will explain and do what I can to convince her because if Matias is my future, she will need to come to terms with that. Or risk losing me forever.