A Howling Heart
Chapter thirty-nine

There is no way the boy I am staring at right now is my cousin. No way. If I could've ever thought of a plot twist in my life, I couldn't have imagined it would be this. My family is a lot of things. We are stubborn. Sometimes we are impulsive or withdrawn, depends on the day. We hurt each other because we are the closest, and have trouble saying, 'I'm sorry.' The one thing I can confidently say is that we don't wish destruction on one another. It doesn't matter how angry we are. When it comes to family, we are willing to be hurt time and time again, and willing to forgive time and time again. But Nate is different.

My cousin is different.

My evil cousin.

Or is he evil now that I know he is defending my father's superiority to Matias's uncles? An uncle that I have not liked since meeting him, one that actively tries to harm me for my mother's decisions.

I don't know whether to applaud Nate's chivalry and loyalty to my dead father or to berate him for his lack of loyalty to me as his family.

Nate laughs mirthlessly like I've said something funny, but I just remain still, utterly confused.

Whereas I understand his hatred for Esai and the bloodline that now reigns, you would think Nate would be happy that I would mate with Matias. It would put our family back in its rightful position. "Why wouldn't you support me being Luna then, Nate? Why go to these lengths to kidnap me and hurt Matias? By mating with him, our bloodline would still be in a position of power. Your bloodline-" He makes a disgusted face and shakes his head, making my confidence plummet momentarily.

"Your father... was only your father to achieve something. To become Alpha himself by stealing the Alpha's mate."

Nate shakes his head and sucks on his teeth, emanating sadistic power as he's filled with amusement from my pain. "Your mother was simply a means to an end. Worthless once, he'd managed to get her away from Esai."

He talks about her as if she's a piece of trash. As if she is the most expendable thing on this planet. It infuriates me. Worthless? The only worthless thing here is him. He deserves whatever is coming to him.

I seethe with hatred.

"No. My mother is not worthless! You are even thinking she is! I mean, look at you! You could not have devised a logical solution to gain justice for what was done. You went to extremes fueled by your own stupidity!" Nate shoots me an annoyed look and wipes his forehead while sighing. "Stupid, stupid Fae, you sleeping with the alpha isn't a 'position of power.' Spreading your legs isn't a job. You understand?"

I hate him more than I've ever hated anyone. As if I am only as good as what is between my legs... he acts as if being Luna doesn't come with responsibility. As if my agreement to it isn't a sacrifice! What a piece of crap! I can't help the taunting tone of voice I use when I respond; I'm feeling mad and just want him to feel as low as he's making me feel. "It's more 'power' than you will ever see!

He takes a few daring steps toward me, and I shrink backward. He laughs at my discomfort while slowly clapping.

"Oh no," he says with mock concern. "You didn't actually think you'd be able to mate with him after I got my hands on you, did you?"

I clutch my stomach as I feel cramps beginning to rise.

I know this feeling...

The stabbing pain explodes in my gut before another thought enters my mind. I press my hands on my stomach, gasping as the pain takes hold of me. I stumble backward, falling onto my butt, unable to control my limbs. "You see... the closer to the blue moon, the more separated you are, the weaker he becomes. As do you... But I will ensure he never has the chance to mate with you. I will ensure that he never transitions and becomes our true Alpha." Nate's plan is not idiot-proof. What does he expect? To wait Matias out for years until he dies of old age when the curse finally takes him? Matias will fight back. I know he will, and if Nate knows what is good for him, he won't wait until Matias does.

"No! He will come!" I pant through the pain just to grit out an insult at Nate. "He will come and tear you apart for what you've done!"

Nate waves a dismissive hand. "Dreams... 'gentle Fae.' You're too soft and naive for your own fucking good."

I cringe when he uses Matias's term of endearment for me.

"You think you will win... you think you will find where you belong, but you won't."

My sentence is broken up by sobs tearing from my lips as the pain heightens, swirling now in my chest until I see black spots.

"Y-ou d-don't belong anywhere." I struggle to get those words out, but when they leave my lips, despite my agony, I am satisfied by the way his face falls and anger flashes in his eyes. "And y-you never will."

He stalks toward me, his fingers flexing, and I know that he's going to hit me.

Deep breaths, Fae.

I'm immobile by the pain, unable to protect myself from his assault. When his hand finally connects with my face, the slap radiating loudly in the room, I cry out once more before all the energy drains from my body, and I slump sideways, unable to remain upright.

So he is going to kill me...

That's the only definite way to make sure I don't mate with Matias. And once he does that, the curse will take over... because we didn't, Mate. Matias will age and decay and writhe in the pure agony of the curse.

The thought makes tears prick my eyes until I'm writhing and crying on the floor.

"So let your Alpha come!" He spits the word Alpha. "When he does, I will kill you in front of him... And then I will kill him."