A Howling Heart
Chapter thirty-seven

Matias's POV.

In this life, there are too many secrets. Too many clauses and liabilities that form around bonds. Much power to be gained by creating the right ones and much power to lose by yoking two unworthy partners together. Fate is careful about its selection. There is something within Fae, a power even she hasn't accessed yet, that I feel vibrating along the bond we have. It stems from her bloodline.

It's why the Amoux pack has broken territory to come over here. With Fae's mother and her presence, the atmosphere has begun to shift. Fate has stirred the packs to restlessness. Now, the Amoux think they can breach boundaries and take things for themselves, but they were in for a rude awakening.

I may not have shifted fully yet, but now, with my mate closer than ever, the physical power bestowed on an Alpha is at my disposal and will only increase when our mating is solidified. I'm a bigger fight than Amoux's Alpha-Austin-expected. Austin is power-hungry. He's amassed many wolves over the past year, some of the shadiest kind, and it makes me wonder what he's planning. He's even gone as far as reaching out to the rogue wolves in the Timberland Grove, some of those most savage and lowly beasts. A long while ago I almost left this pack and went there, lived a life of solitude or as much as one could get in a rogue encampment. The pressure of being Alpha here was too much for me. Esai hated me for being able to take his spot. He felt he was wronged, as if stepping down was an option for me.

It wasn't. We would've been left vulnerable. I'm sure Amoux would've just absorbed us and slaughtered those in our pack they wanted to just for fun. No. I wouldn't back down then, and I won't back down now.

I've made peace with them for now, but I do not know how long that will hold. Until his obsessive greed takes over, he comes wandering back over here looking to take anything he wants...

I need to increase our ranks.

That's a discussion for another time because I sensed something wrong with Fae. Her body is on alert, her heart racing, her chest tight as if it's hard to breathe. I recognize this feeling almost immediately. She's having a panic attack or on the verge of one, anyway.

I tug at our bond, thankful that it's secure, and then I push my voice into her head.

"Fae, where are you going?" The worry in my voice is too strong to hide. I don't want to hide it. I want to bear my feelings for her in order to convince her that running away isn't the answer. It wasn't for her mother, and it wasn't for her. Her response would make me chuckle if I wasn't concerned that she was truly on the verge of running from my life for good.

"How did you know?"

This bond between us has revealed much to me. There were so many things she couldn't even imagine, but it was not time to delve into them. It's time to reveal my concern and get her to stop. "Fae?" I make sure the voice in her head is firm and caring but concerned.

"Matias, I have to leave. My mother needs me; I'm sorry." Her voice breaks as if her sobs are revealed even in her head. It tears me apart and sends rage boiling inside me-rage at every part of this world that has made our encounter this difficult. I feel like I'm racing toward the finish line but always getting tripped the closer I get to it.

"I'm coming soon. I will accompany you." It's unsafe for her to venture off alone. Doesn't she know that by now? She has not shifted; she is unprotected.

"No, Matias. I can bring myself home." Her delusional sternness, as if I shouldn't be bothered by her going by herself, infuriates me. These aren't two humans living harmlessly in the human world; this is a world in which she is naive and willingly putting herself in harm's way.

"You are not going back alone. I brought you here."

"Matias, Just let me be!"

"You know I cannot do that..."

"Fine! Tell me the truth then... because you never did. Did you know that Esai killed my father? Did you?"

There's an urgency to the tone she uses. There's hope mockingly waiting, goading me to break what little trust she holds for me. I feel as if our future hangs on a thread, but I can't lie about this. Not anymore. Not when I just admitted to wanting to bear my soul to her in the hopes she would stay and choose me so we could rule together and establish a firm pack.

I sigh. "Yes, I knew."

I feel her heart shattering into pieces.

"You knew..." Even the thought she sends back to me as a reply trembles with despair. "And was it your plan to have him try and strangle me? Was that for fun? Was it for fun to put me back in your house so he could finish what he started and kill my mother and me?"

This is how poisonous doubt can be. It makes you think everyone who truly loves you is against you.

"Fae, you're being ridiculous -"

"No!"

She's running through the trees. I'm not that close yet, close enough to intercept, but the power deep in her blood alerts all that she's near.

"I'm leaving! I will not be your mate. I will not succumb to a life of lies. I will not let you or your uncle hurt me and my mother. Never again." "Fae -"

"Get out of my head!" Her scream is like a blade through my skull. I momentarily pull back, hating this helpless feeling coming over me for a moment before I force myself back to our bond.

She's not alone. There's another presence.

It's him...

Nate.

But something has changed. I don't sense his infatuation the same way. It's more sinister.

I have to warn her!

"Fae! Stop! It's not safe!"

It's too late.

The bond goes dead.