A Howling Heart
Chapter twelve

Reality has left, and in its place is a mocking vision of animals and men-incomprehensible, as Matias put it. My scream savagely punctures the silence in the woods, disturbing the peace amongst the trees. I hear the desperate flap of wings, the uncoordinated scurry of frightened animals above the brush on the forest floor. What is that?

I should get the hell outta here!

I hear Matias's voice in my head discernibly for the first time. "Don't!"

I don't let those booming words in my skull keep me from sprinting. The twigs slap my bare skin, and a cloud of dirt stirs around me as I push quickly through the branches. I expect the distant sound of paws and claws moving easily after me, but I don't.

I'm surprised he isn't sending them after me to eat me before I tell someone.

I hear his voice in my head again.

"I would never! Fae! Come back."

"No! They're monsters! They are all monsters! And you led me there! Y-you're probably one, too! I won't be your prey. I won't be some victim!" My voice is raw with fear.

"Enough," he demands. "You are more than that! More than them!"

My heart hammers in my chest when his next words are broken with a pained groan, and I feel the pain we felt earlier budding in my gut, causing my steps to falter. I trip, tumbling to the floor, dirt driving beneath my nails as I reach out to catch myself. Matias!

The pain slowly flows throughout my veins this time, but Matias's roars can be heard from across the span of the entire forest. I know he's in pain just from the way the stabbing pain moves through me, and I recall his words. We're connected.

He can feel my pain, and I can feel his.

I twist on my side, taking a few painful deep breaths. Climbing to my feet unsteadily, I reach out blindly. There's nothing to grab on, my eyes scanning the woods while contemplating my next moves. He needs me!

I'm startled by those words. They surface out of nowhere, a firm dominance from a connection I keep denying. I shake my head, trying to shove the desperate thoughts to run back to him and be by his side, away. It doesn't work. My yearning to go to him is stronger than it's ever been.

I can't go back!

I need to run from those things!

Matias's voice cuts through the trees once again. "No!"

He doesn't want me to leave.

"Fae!" My name is a strangled word between his lips, and once it's spoken, I whip around to the direction he's in, aware of how the word 'mine' pops into my skull, and an invisible string tugs me slightly in his direction. No!

His voice is a growl in my thoughts again, "Yes!" I can't!

Come to me!

Those words are filled with pain; they sound like they're coming from an animal-one that's in so much pain that it'll do anything to make it stop.

A beast.

I turn slowly, back in the direction I was running, aware that as I step forward, pain shoots down my legs, making me breathless. Step after step in the opposite direction of the groans, my pain heightens until I'm a few meters ahead, and the pain explodes in my limbs. I slide down a tree until my but's on the ground, and I'm sobbing.

Why can't I leave?

His voice enters my head again, and even the sound of it in my mind exudes the torture he's going through. "Because you don't want to. Come to me. Please. It'll go away. Just come to me."

It hurts!

"I know, anima mea. I know. Just obey. Trust me. Just as I've shown you before... trust me."

I shouldn't. You don't deserve my trust. Not after you didn't tell me about this.

I cry out, clawing at my stomach while agony cripples me.

"Stop being stubborn and come to me!" He pleads with me to listen, challenging me not to be foolishly stubborn again. Perhaps he is right?

Ugh, I should go to him!

Howling pierces the forest, and I cringe at the sound.

Like wolves mourning...

But he's not dying, is he?

No!

I jog, but my movements are slow, too compromised by the horrible sting that's poisoned my body.

Keep moving. I just need to keep moving. I need to get to him.

His agonized groans aren't as loud anymore. The closer I get, the more it feels like I'm the antidote he needs to stop the pain, and I soon realize when I see him in the distance that my own pain is subsiding, like no longer avoiding my destiny is the key to flourishing.

This is insane... but I know it's right. It's the only thing to stop this torture.

"Fae." My name isn't as distorted now. I visibly feel his relief while I close the distance between the two of us and collapse onto my knees beside him. Wolves surround him, stagnant gazes resting on me when I press my forehead against his, and our breathing becomes synchronized. It is as if even our hearts and lungs are connected as one.

Oh no, what am I doing?

After a few beats, he raises his hand to cup my face, his eyelids fluttering open to reveal deep red eyes so dark they appear black. He gazes at me with a possession that makes me forget my name and only think of him.

He keeps saying I am his. And I keep denying it. But deep down, something inside of me is saying it's true. We are connected. But that scares the hell out of me.

"It should. But I will protect you."

I shake my head, moving away from him to sit beside his body, and my mind begins to run rampant. I question every decision I've made so far and wonder if Nate had not shown up or had I not agreed to have him help me, I wouldn't be where I am right now.

Because where I am is crazy. It's unreal to every single person I know.

I sigh and shove my fingers through my locks of hair, which are all in disarray.

My mom sure as hell wouldn't believe this. She'd probably faint at the thought. Oh god, my mom! She's probably worried about me.

"Stay."

Maybe I'll stay.

I hate to admit it, but now, my body yearns for him. The notion of leaving his side makes my stomach twist into knots, causing a wave of nausea so fierce it makes me whistle an uneven breath between my clenched teeth.

"You belong with me," he says huskily.

"Matias, how can you say stuff like that?"

My longing blossoms, and I find myself leaning toward his body, my body unconsciously craving the heat from his towering frame. The heat that soaks into my skin sets my veins ablaze with its molten ecstasy until I'm a panting mess beside him.

Why do I want him so much? Why can't my body just be logical? Why can't I get his lips out of my head? Ugh, those lips!

I should go before I lose control...

"Lose control," he hisses.

He wraps his thick hand around my arm and pulls me on top of him, my limbs melding against his in all the perfect intimate places. His rigid muscles along his abdomen press firmly against my stomach, and with one short thrust of his hips upward, I'm keenly aware of how equally matched his desire for me was earlier.

And how large...

I shouldn't be thinking about these things!

I press my hands onto the ground beside both his arms to balance myself and attempt to push off of him, but his arms wrap around my waist, angling my body perfectly against his.

He's not playing fair.

I pout. "Matias, that's not fair."

He chuckles. "I'm not fair. I get what I want. Any means necessary."

He wants me... I still can't wrap my head around it.

A growl leaves his lips, and I feel his fingers dig slightly into me.

"Mine."

That word should incite anger in me. I've never been anyone's. No man has ever tried to claim me, not that I would let them, quiet or not.

"That's bold of you."

His eyes gleam with amusement, and then they trail down my face and linger on my lips, his tongue moistening his mouth as he did the time before when I thought he would kiss me. The sight makes my belly clench excitedly. I nibble on my lip, prepared for the assault of his lips.

"Fae?" The sound of Nate's voice captures my attention. I twist my neck, eyes widening when I lay them on my friend.

He's one of them?

And he's naked!

I open my mouth to respond when a deep-throated scoff leaves Matias's lips, and he uses a hand to firmly grasp my chin, leveling my gaze with his. Preparing to protest his jealous aggression, I'm cut off by his mouth, that word a repeated mantra in your head now as he claims my kiss.

Mine! Mine! Mine!

Oh, Matias! Are we really going to do this? Right here?